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About RTC

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  1. Welcome. Welcome to the rice fields.
  2. Welcome. Welcome to the rice fields.
  3. Welcome. Welcome to the rice fields. (Whoops, almost posted the wrong link. That would've been a disaster.)
  4. I bought two more rifles last Sunday. Both are old WWII-era Mosin Nagants, one is a full-size rifle and the other is carbine-length.

  5. My toilet just randomly burst into flames this morning.

    1. Nightshroud


      wow i thought my luck was bad.

  6. Welcome. Welcome to the rice fields.
  7. Welcome... Welcome to the rice fields.
  8. Despite the constant negative press covfefe

  9. >I was 16 years old >I've secretly been a fan of MLP since season 3 >Nobody has discovered my secret >I'm sitting in my father's truck one day, about to embark on a family road trip >In back seat discreetly scrolling through Equestria Daily on my cell phone >My uncle is about to enter the back seat as well >I close Equestria Daily and start browsing in the Bushmaster catalog >We have been driving for three hours >We pull into a rest area >I sprint to the nearest restroom >I launch a massive stink rocket into the porcelain bowl >Toilet shatters into a gazillion little shards >I realize that I didn't bring my phone with me >A feeling of pure dread washes over my mind like a tsunami >Worriedly, I return to the truck >Mother has been looking through my phone while I was in the restroom >She found Equestria Daily on my browsing history >ohs**t.gif >I search my mind for an excuse as to why I was browsing EQD >With no excuses coming to mind, I tell the truth >"I like the show," I tell her >Apparently that wasn't good enough >She calls me a homosexual manbaby and cancels the road trip >We return home >I wake up the next morning >A strange looking bus is outside >Mother tells me she's sending me to bible camp >killmenow.png >On the bus >Bus smells like burned feces >Kid in straight jacket next to me >He leans in, as if to whisper something in my ear >He bites the side of my face with all of his strength >I scream bloody murder as the kid starts to chew >Man in robe appears and beats the straight jacket kid with a cast iron frying pan until he stops breathing >whatinthenameofcelestiaisgoingonhere.jpg >I'm panicking at this point >Another kid randomly drops his pants and takes a massive dump on his own seat before sitting back down... on the turd >Five hours later, I arrive at bible camp >I look around >Everyone in sight is either being injected with botox or dying of the bubonic plague >An employee approaches me >"GO TO CABIN 12, AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT URINATING ON THE FLOOR!" he roared >I go to the cabin with the door labeled "12" >I twist the knob >Door is ripped from its hinges as someone from inside the cabin plows through it >I push the door off of me and look to see who was responsible >Some kid with burned hair is running around aimlessly >I stand up and reluctantly enter the cabin >Excrement is everywhere, even on the ceiling >There is a severed thumb nailed to the back wall >There is only one bed in the cabin, which is covered in a crusty substance >It is in such a state of deformation that suggests it was formerly wet, but dried >I leave the cabin in a hurry >After locating a path that wouldn't be seen by onlookers, I sneak into the woods >One hour of walking passes >There is someone sitting on the limb of an oak tree >He looks at me and seems a bit frightened >I ask, "I just arrived at the camp over westward; what's going on with the people there?" >He calms down >"Your guess is as good as mine. I'm just resting here until I decide to climb down and leave." he tells me >I reply, "You're just going to leave? But we're countless miles off the grid! You'll either starve to death or get eaten by a hungry grizzly bear before you get anywhere close to civilization, especially without any directional references!" >He climbs down from the tree and withdraws a rolled-up sheet of paper from his backpack >"I found this in the priest's office. It's a map of the area surrounding the camp." he said >I notice that the map depicts a railroad a few miles due east of camp; approximately one mile from our current position >"Railroads always lead to civilization; all we have to do is follow it." he says >It sounds like as good a plan as any, especially if the alternative was ending up in the same mental state as the other campers >I start to ask, "So, why were you sent h... " >Suddenly, the camp's priest, along with two other employees appear >The priest is smiling pervertedly while holding a lead pipe covered in feces and dry blood >The employees both have cameras >Me and the tree sitter both exchange glances, then simultaneously bolt eastward >The camp leaders are in hot pursuit >"What is your name, anyway?" I ask >"Brian!" he replies >Before too long, the tracks are visible through the brush >As we grow closer, we notice that a train is heading due north and approaching our position >"Quickly! We have to get to the other side of the tracks, that way the train cuts off the camp managers!" shouted Brian >We run as fast as our legs will carry us >Moments before reaching the tracks, the train cuts us off >All hope seems lost >I look back and notice that the space between us and the camp managers is rapidly shrinking >isthishowitends.jpg >I look back at the passing train >Freight cars with sliding doors >Some aren't padlocked >Some are even open >"Come on!" I yell >We run along the side of the train >The train is going about 5 mph faster than we are running >A freight car whose door is ajar approaches from behind >As it reaches me, I climb onto the side of the car, clinging to a rail and using my foot to force the door open >The door produces a loud SCREEEEECH as I slowly push it open >I jump inside >Safe at last >I turn around and reach out to Brian >He tries to grab my hand, but I am just out of his reach >Brian falls behind >The camp managers are closing in >I quickly begin to look around the freight car I'm in >Tool boxes everywhere >I open one and withdraw the perfect weapon >I know what I must do >I jump out of the freight car and start back toward Brian and the camp managers >The priest caught Brian at this point >Priest brandishes the lead pipe and bends Brian over as the other two employees start recording with their cameras >WHACK! >I clocked the priest over the head with a socket wrench >The employees are visibly shocked as priest falls to the ground and drops his pipe >The train has almost passed >I pull Brian along and we both grab ahold of a rail on the side of the second-to-last car on the train >This door is padlocked, we must reach another car >We climb to the roof and carefully crawl another two cars forward >This car's door is wide open >We swing inside >This car is completely empty >Regardless, we're safe now >After laying on the floor and catching our breath for a few minutes, Brian breaks the silence >"That was close, man" he said >"Yeah, I don't even want to think about what that priest intended to do to us" I replied >I thought for a minute >"So what do we do now? We obviously can't survive in here for a long period of time, especially without any kind of food source" I continued >Brian sits up, removes his backpack, and lays it in front of him >He opens it and withdraws some canned foods and bottled water >"These were also in the priest's office. I didn't fancy attempting to escape that place without any supplies." he said >"How did you even get into his office?" I asked >"It turns out he doesn't actually lock it; I simply walked through the door in the dead of night while nobody was around. That place was full of goodies." he said >He pulled more objects out of his backpack >"I found this pocket knife, a first aid kit, and a box of matches." he continued >It was quite a supply for one office >I stare through the open freight car door >Woodland as far as the eye can see >"As I was going to ask earlier, why were you sent to that camp in the first place?" I ask him >He turns to face me >"You see, I attempted to explain to my parents that I was part of a community, and I didn't think they would care." he said >Is it possible? >"They didn't take it very well. No matter how much I tried to explain the concept to them, I seemed to be talking to a wall." he continued >holyf**kingmotherofgod.gif >"Anyway, we call ourselves bronies. Have you heard of us?" Maybe I'll write a sequel to this if it isn't taken down for somehow being against the rules.
  10. I actually had a dream where this happened. I was mostly confused as to how the transformation occurred, and a former schoolteacher of mine followed me for hours simply because she somehow spotted me and was fascinated at the existence of a cartoon horse. The only time that I was actually able to get out of sight was when I locked myself in my own gun safe, but then I realized that I couldn't get out. I considered shooting my way out, but I woke up before I could make the attempt... even if I tried, it wouldn't have worked because the safe is bulletproof... and I didn't have any fingers to operate a rifle with.
  11. new

    Welcome... Welcome to the rice fields.
  12. My grandfather has kept a pile of mummified fingers in his attic since the end of WWII.
  13. That girl in my basement probably thinks I'm a real creep.