straydogdragon

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  1. straydogdragon

    Equestrian Chronicles gag reel for fun moment, part 3

    You know the drill...it’s manual use only...and it still jammed. Swift: Likely not related to Discord Gimbal: Likely used to be a sweet kid Mutt: Likely never went to school Nutmeg: Likely to regret those fire bombs (spoiler, yea…least no one died?) Half Pint: Likely to get that scary knife in this session (spoiler, he does) Swift: Hello everybody. Welcome to this, the third episode of Equestrian Chronicles podcast, hosted by me Swift Study….(line flub)! Mutt: Begha! Swift: GM’d by me, Swift Study and hosted by ZD. HP: That’s right. Nutmeg: By the way, you should go for extra dork points and say everypony. Mutt: Everypony? What if some of us ain’t ponies then? Gimbal: Well, Gimbal, who is a lawyer… Swift: Gimbal’s a lawyer? Gimbal: No, no, no. Her uncle. Swift: Yes, but I will remind you again, not really defense lawyer material. He’s more claims, copyright laws, that kind of thing. Gimbal: Yeah, he’s ambulance wagger chaser. Swift: Not even that. Swift:Now, Mutt, you have one possible lead. You know of a small time fence, a pony by the name of Jackpot Fog, who moonlights as a gameshow host in Canterlot. Mutt: Gameshow host and fence? What, is he giving these things out on his gameshow? Swift:...yes. Mutt: Well, fair enough. Mutt: Being an asshole isn’t a crime...yet. Mutt: Oh (joy). Swift: Was that good (get happy) or bad (sweep all your cares away)? Mutt: ...Ok, you’ll find out very quickly…(snake eyes) Mutt: I’m imagining what Mutt just said “Basically just stands up and says “I know a guy, his name is such and such!” “And where is he?” “I don’t know!” HP: (After Half Pint knows the location of the pony) I’m trying to decide, should we go wake the man? Mutt: Well, you could always wake the man in a terrifying way like Batman does. Nutmeg: Yeah, we have a diamond dog. Mutt:” Me be Batman?” Nutmeg: How do you think Nutmeg survived so long? Mutt: Cunning? HP: So, Mutt yelled out that his knows this person? Mutt: “Me know Jackpot Fog, just not where he lives...or anything else. But he exists!” Nutmeg: Nutmeg pats his back like “Good job. That’s enough at least.” Swift: (On Mutt doing another mind roll) You can add thief to a lot of rolls this season. Mutt: I am rolling badly. Swift: This was going to be your moment to shine… Mutt: His mind is poor… Mutt: “Me think him skittish. That mean him, him, him skittish! That mean him probably aware people want his stuff too.” Nutmeg: Nutmeg is doing that sort of like “Go on, you can do it.” sort of thing next to him. Mutt: Mutt’s just tapping his head, trying to figure this out. Nutmeg: You’re trying so hard to be encouraging. Mutt: “Me figure he probably has defenses, probably, because of his stuff.” HP: What time is it? Swift: At this point, it’s almost midnight. Nutmeg: Well, we just had an attack in the castle. I think, maybe, we can wake somebody up. Mutt: Or we pull Batman. Get into his house, lift him out of his bed, be scary. Nutmeg: You mean Mare Noir. HP: I’d be pretty great if I could Thorax to come with us. He opens his door “Do you know what ungodly...Oh, hi king.” Mutt: Mare Noir lift people out of beds in a scary way? Nutmeg: Maybe? HP: (On why Fog is not at the gala) Reminder, the gala is (quite) super hard to get into. Swift: It is. Gimbal: Yeah. Swift: You either have to be really connected or done something really, really important lately. HP: And game show hosts aren’t really high up there… Swift: No, no the're not. Mutt: Neither are black marketeers for some reason. I mean, they make lots of bits, but you never see them at gala. Nutmeg: I’d like to think the game show host got kicked out because he’s an alcoholic. HP: Hey, hey, don’t talk (mean words) about alcoholics. Says the college student. HP: Half Pint kinda goes “Um, guys? Quick reminder, we are in Canterlot, and we are planning to wake up a wealthy pony. Just throwing that out there.” Mutt: “Yep.” Gimbal: “Now this I’m hot, we convince him to go on his game show, and I’ll reveal all his secrets.” HP: “Gimbal, you know that’s not gonna last, right?” Gimbal: “It ain’t? HP: “No” Gimbal: “How much time do I have left? How temporary is it? A couple years?” HP: How long ago did I cast that? Swift: About an hour ago, it’s got only a few minutes left. Gimbal: I’ve got to change before I turn into a pumpkin again! HP: Half Pint’s looking at a watch. “Right about...now.” Gimbal: “Oh no, I’m fat again.” Mutt: “Can we go back to going to his house and throttling him like ‘not’ Batman?” HP: “No, don’t throttle him are you….you guys really are from Ponyville, aren’t you?” Mutt: “Yup.” Swift: Someone raises their hoof “They don’t represent Ponyville.” HP: I just realized, no one has commented on Half Pint being a changeling. Swift: No, everyone is kind of in shock. Because of the other things that happened. However, you notice that Champion is giving you a look that’s less scared and more betrayed and hurt. Mutt: And the most Mutt can figure is “So, you changeling? What changeling like?” HP: I find that hilarious. You turn into a changeling “So, what’s it like being you?” Swift: Someone comes up “Have you tried not being a changeling?” Nutmeg: “Can I touch your hair?” HP: Half Pint just kinda sits there. Just looking at everyone, with all the attention turned back to the whole changeling thing “Goddamn it!” Mutt: “It true you guys come from trees?” HP: “No...but…” Nutmeg: “Mutt, maybe you don’t want to ask him such personal questions.” Mutt: “Ok” HP: Quick reminder, there are how many changelings in the room? Swift: About 7. HP: Yeah, I just turn to the other guys “Guys, help me out here.” Swift: Pharynx is grinning “Oh, you’re on your own, buddy.” HP: “Celestia damn it.” Nutmeg: (As Nutmeg’s heart potion wore off) Ok, well then Nutmeg is probably really scared and just hiding near Mutt while he asks silly questions. Gimbal: Maybe it’s like, uh, remember? Nutmeg: Oh, no. Well actually she’s still be with Moon, wouldn't she? Gimbal: Yeah, she’s still with Moon. Nutmeg: Sort of hugging her, behind Mutt. There, I’ve got all of her emotional bases covered! Gimbal: I can do something here. Where everybody lies about their past? Swift: Yeah. Gimbal: *singing* Everybody lies about their past. HP: That moment past about five minutes ago. Gimbal: Yeah. Short attention span. Gimbal: I haven’t done a musical number… Mutt: Hur? Swift: This isn’t the time or place. Gimbal: Really? When can I use musical number? I’ve had it on my sheet… HP: This is not the episode for “A Changeling Can Change”. You’re not Spike. Thorax is literally right over there, and he can tell you how that went. Nutmeg: Thorax is like “Back off, I’ve been waiting for a song too.” Gimbal: Yeah, that actually worked out well for him. HP: Exactly, he doesn’t need to hear it again. Gimbal: (After being told to deal with the changeling issue later) Gimbal’s like “Don’t worry, we’ll have an intervention. I’ve had about two already.” HP: An intervention about being a changeling. “Look, we’re concerned you are taking this a little too far.” “But it’s my biology!” “We know, it’s a problem.” Nutmeg: You know, you're going to have a really hard time pulling Nutmeg away from Moon in order to chase a game show host. Swift: No, you haven’t left yet. You’ve been talking about leaving… Nutmeg: Nutmeg, I think, would have the heart to walk over to him and just maybe try to comfort him a little bit. Swift: Yeah, yeah. Awkwardly, but you can. Nutmeg: Awkwardly… HP: That sounds like everything Nutmeg does. Nutmeg: Yeah, but it’s a bit extra awkward. Because it’s like suddenly finding out you’re a dragon or something. Like via Fluttershy. “I want to trust you, but every instinct is telling me not to.” Mutt: Would it help to off awkward this if Mutt just kind of asks Half Pint “Can changelings drink milk because they made with mothers love?” Nutmeg: Nutmeg holds up a hoof, and then goes like “That’s actually a good question.” HP: I turn to the other changelings. Swift: They shrug. (Actually, it was a mother’s care. With all the mother based weakness the trolls have, Fluttershy could beat them with ease) Nutmeg: (Saying goodbye to Moon) “Ok, see you later! Um, I see you, *ahem* bye.” Swift: She nods and gives you a kiss on the cheek. Nutmeg: “Ne ha!” Nutmeg: “Guys, I think I have that thing, but I don’t remember the word for it…” HP: You’re a lesbian. Nutmeg: “The one with the….No, I’m a vegan.” Mutt: “You vegan? They have pony carnivores?” HP: What Mutt said, now Half Pint’s confused. Swift: To be fair, most ponies eat eggs, so most of them aren’t vegan. Gimbal: Yeah. Mutt: Good point. Nutmeg: Alright then, she’s a vegetarian. HP: “Aren’t most ponies?” Nutmeg: “I think we’re not talking about the same thing…” Gimbal: “We have a lot of interventions when we get back home. Anyway, let’s go to this game show guy because maybe we can get a spot on this game show as well.” Nutmeg: Of course that would be Gimbal’s first thought. HP: Half Pint just gives her a look. Like “Really? That’s your first thought?” Nutmeg: Nutmeg just slaps her head “Oh no, I didn’t mention I was in a band! Ah, stupid!” Mutt: “It ok, she didn’t seem to judge.” Swift: Sugar song says “I don’t think you have to use much, Nutmeg. Just being your adorable, dorky self.” Nutmeg: “Eh, heh heh *snort* Uh, ok.” Swift: Ok, you’re just about to leave, when suddenly you hear Rarity’s voice say “WAIT!” She walks up to you “If you’re gonna go gallivanting Canterlot chasing thieves...come on, off off!” And she gestures to your suits and dresses. Nutmeg: *Laughter* Swift: “You’re gallivanting through the streets in those creations!” HP: I thought we paid for these… Nutmeg: I don’t think it would matter if we paid for them or not, she’d still be doing this. Nutmeg: (Losing her tux) “I wanna be a spy…” Swift: (As Rarity) If you want to be a spy, then come see me. I’ll make you a more sturdy outfit.” Nutmeg: “Ok...can I at least keep the bowtie?” Swift: “Oh, very well then. But you do know wearing a bowtie with nothing else would make you look like a chippendale.” Nutmeg: “Eeek!” Takes it off and throws it at her. Mutt: “Chipperwha?” Nutmeg: 90s kids will remember Animorphs. Mutt: I don’t. (I watched cartoons. If I read, it was Garfield comics) HP: (At Jackpot’s house) “Before we go in, no stealing.” Mutt: “Like, under the table things? Or threatening things?” HP: “At all. You do not take anything from this house.” Mutt: “Ok….” HP: “Good boy.” Nutmeg: We’ll I don’t think I’ll need anything anyway! I brought snacks from the gala! Swift: It’s got one of those old fashioned door knockers. HP: I can’t even reach. Swift: You know your TK, right? HP: Huh? Swift: You have telekinesis. HP: Yeah, that’s what I was referring to. I find that adorable and hilarious, he can’t reach so he has to use magic. Nutmeg: Champion can relate. Mutt: Well, Mutt could do it, but he might destroy the door. Nutmeg; That’s why I want like, Mutt as Nutmeg’s lab assistant. I think that would be like hilarious, like an Igor sort of thing. Mutt: “Me find brain! It abbynormal!” ?: A threat has been detected. (Yeah, that comes out of nowhere…) HP: So I turn over to Mutt and just go“I think this is where you take up.” Swift: Ok Mutt, this is the tricky part. You have to subtly hint that you know about his criminal activities, while not scaring him off. Mutt: Oh dear….. Swift: Or you out right say “I’m a thief too.” that might work too. Mutt:(looking for something to bribe Jackpot with) Hmm, let’s see what I can offer him. No, that’s only 500 bits… Nutmeg: Mutt still have a corn-dog? Swift: I hope not. I know they last, but they don’t last that long. Mutt: I think the last time I had food in my pocket was that candy apple that I gave to that elder god. Nutmeg: Every item in Mutt’s pocket has an epic story to tell. Swift: (On the new lead) She goes by the name Night Sun. HP: Literally polar opposites. Mutt:...Lovely… HP: You’ve run out of OC names. Nutmeg: I always like picturing like there’s a deviant artist in the sky who draws everybody's cutie marks. And every now and again, one comes out that is extremely autistic. Like it’s the head of Sonic the Hedgehog with Peter Griffon. Swift: Ahem. Nutmeg: Sorry. Swift: He shows you a dagger with a obsidian blade, and a handle made from some kind of ivory Mutt: “Purdy.” Swift: (Half Pint holds it) When you touch it, you can feel something trying to go into you and trying to draw out your darkest desires. Mutt: Oh the fun types! HP: Alcoholism, oh god. I have an urge for whiskey. Mutt: Somehow I’m surprised the dagger hasn’t immediately made him stab the guy we’re talking to. Swift: No, a bit more subtle than that. Mutt: Oh thank heavens. HP: I think it’s ironic. This dagger is the antithesis, the opposite, of the element of kindness. My element. Nutmeg: I was thinking, this is kind of like in one of those “Oh (soul reaver)!” moments from Once Upon a Time, if anybody’s ever watched that. Mutt: Aww. HP: This changeling, who’s element is kindness, he’s known for being nice. And his main choice of weapon? Something that will (Inflict: bleed) you up. Nutmeg: You haven’t met stabby pony. Swift: Let’s just say, Mutt, this is the kind of day stabby pony would be all about. Mutt: *nervous laugh* Swift: (Technical difficulties) Uh oh, we lost somebody. Nutmeg: We lost Andrew. Swift: *Alarm sounds* Nutmeg?: We lost contact! HP: Apparently Gimbal thought “(bored now!) this (It’s so wonderful), I’m out.” Nutmeg: Gimbal disconnected. Mutt: The drinks Gimbal had crept up on her. Swift: If you want it, and of course you can try haggling down, he want 2000 bits for it. HP: I actually was never told how many bits I have in the first place… Swift: You don’t have that many bits. I’ll tell you that much. HP: I turn to Mutt. “So, ah…” Mutt: “Erh?” HP: “...got anything to help out?” Mutt: “Mmm, not sure. But at the same time, me looking at that dagger and feel that that thing isn’t safe for anyones hands.” HP: “I think it’d be best suited in mine. I can definitely sense the magic from it, and I’d rather not have it in anyone else's.” Nutmeg: You forgot to methodically laugh. Nutmeg: Again, cue Once Upon a Time sting music here. Swift: Now, Mutt, you have exactly as much money as written on your sheet. Because you don’t have a career, so you money comes in spurts, based upon how well sales go. Mutt: (Listing off inventory) 3 pieces of jewelry which never really done much with, Filthy Rich’s cuff links, one of Spoiled Rich’s earrings...5000 bits worth of gems from somewhere?! HP: *flabbergasted* Mutt: Where did I get that from? Nutmeg: I like that Mutt has a small fortune in his pocket and he doesn’t even know it! Mutt: “But they gems, they mine.” (Yes, he had been sitting on those reward gems for awhile) Mutt: Uh, ok. On one hand Mutt could probably do something about this. On the other hand, Mutt would like to know “What is the good reason for this?” HP:”Ok, two things. One, imagine if someone else came that was not as nice as us and found this.” And I hold up the knife, and you know we can feel the magic radiating off of it. Mutt: “Couldn't we then mug them and take it off them?” Nutmeg: Mutt, you’re supposed to be the voice of reason! HP: I don’t even think Half Pint has words for that. Mutt: I suppose the changeling character could bop him on the nose and say “focus will you!” HP: I can use this “Ok, case in point. Why we shouldn't let anyone else like you have this knife.” Mutt: Brief pause “Him have a pont. Me was wondering if you was soft shell.” HP: “....Yeah, definitely going to be buying this knife…” Mutt: Grrrr. I suppose that 5000 probably is going to be reduced to 3000 now. Swift: It is. Mutt: Ok. Nutmeg: Oh no. My small fortune is now a modest fortune… Gimbal: Welcome to being broke. Swift: I guess I’m not buying that island in the Bahamas… Nutmeg: Yeah, this amount of money could only change most people's lives. Mutt: Yeah, that’d be a comical situation “But me only have these random objects, these corn-dogs, and this large pile of gems. What can I do?” Swift: He says “Good, good. You’re obviously a dog of means.” And you see his respect going up a bit. He’s obviously a pony who respects someone on how much money they have. HP: +10 respect. HP: Oh (blood flow), oh (odd angles) My leg fell asleep! Oh, pins and needles! Oh god! Nutmeg: *laughing* It’s the darkness taking over! Swift: I’m so tempted, in character, just say Half Pint falls over. Nutmeg: The animator dies from a heart attack. Mutt: And so the threat was ended. Nutmeg: That’s it. I’m drawing Half Pint as Rumpelstiltskin. HP: I can’t wait to meet “Stabby Pone”. Mutt: I bet he’ll see you and be like “Grrr, I’m gonna stab you!” And then he’ll be like “Oh my god! That is the best knife I’ve ever seen!” Nutmeg: And he’ll be like “Oh, I’m such a loser. I give up.” (And then this was repeated, Swift cut out for a moment) Swift: No, he stabs you, takes the new knife, stabs you again... Nutmeg: He takes your knife, stabs you with both your knife and his knife… Mutt: He’s like “This is the best knife! It’s compelling me to stab further! I love you knife!” Nutmeg: And this is why Mutt doesn’t get the knife. HP: (On needing more gems for another bribe” Just give him a few bits. Mutt: “Grrr.” Nutmeg: *singing* “Give a little bit…” HP: Mutt, you have literally a small fortune in your pocket, there should not be a problem. Mutt: Well, I guess I have that second pile of gems we got from that retirement thing with Break Fang’s thing, but that only worth a 1000 bits. HP: What the hell? What the (How are you holding that much?)! Swift: They’ve been doing some things, let’s put it that way. HP: Gimbal’s broke and...well, no wait… Nutmeg: That’s her own fault! Mutt: Gimbal spends a lot. HP: ...I answered my own question... Mutt: *annoyed* How many gems would he like to have? HP: Just give him like two at best, just enough. Swift: He’d probably be happy with with maybe 500. Mutt: ...Ok, can live with that. Swift: (After an agreement with Jackpot) You might be repeat customers, so...Obviously, you have little scruples Half Pint. HP: Wait, what was that. Swift: Obviously Half Pint has little scruples, buying an obviously evil dagger...on flimsy excuses. HP: Listen, I...I...I think I have a spending problem too. Swift: Unfortunately you also have a money problem, as in you don’t have much of it. Mutt: Also you owe me about 2500 bits at this point. (Well, closer to 2000, subtracting the bribe) Nutmeg: And Mutt’s going to hold him to it too. HP: Now I am like a college student. Just out of college, I’ve moved to a new place, I’m in debt, I mean what next? I have a drinking problem, I mean honestly? Swift: All right, so you emerge from his house and meet with the others. HP: So, um, we learned a few things guys…and we’ve even gained something too” Mutt: “He’s got a scary dagger.” Nutmeg: And what have we been doing this while time? Swift: You’ve been waiting quietly, waiting anxiously, hoping thing don’t go wrong. Nutmeg; Nah, Nutmeg was trying to get Gimbal to play patty cake with her. Gimbal: I actually oblige, yeah lets play patty cake. Nutmeg: You just come to them playing patty cake. Gimbal: I’m gonna beat ya this time!” Mutt: I’m gonna be the patty cake master! Swift: (Likely as Champion) “Patty cake is not a competitive sport.” Nutmeg: “It is when we play it! We play hard core patty cake!” Gimbal: “Yeah, if you’re not bruising, you’re not trying.” Nutmeg: “Gimbal that doesn’t rhyme.” Swift: Isn’t hard core patty cake basically boxing? Mutt: Only if it involves punching your hand… HP: Ok, so we come out and I walk over and I pull out the knife. Swift: Ok, as soon as you pull out the knife, I reiterate, pulls out the most evil knife ever seen! Gimbal: Oh no. Nutmeg: What were you thinking? I thought you were gonna hide it! Swift: The rest of you, you know that Cracked Heart, he would love to have a knife like that. It oozes murder. Mutt: “Me knew it!” Nutmeg: You’re already experiencing trust issues with people and you brandish the evilest knife ever! HP: I mean, I led up with “I got something cool.” I mean… Nutmeg: Yo, everybody! I’m the dark one! What up? Swift: I’m sorry, but when you say “hey, I’ve got something cool” and pull out a nasty thing, it’s still a nasty thing. HP: Listen, I’m a nice person…but if I see something shiny... Swift: Ted Bundy also was a nice person. *roaring laughter* Nutmeg: Fair enough. Swift: Real charming. Swift: Half Pint, Sugar Song says “Are you sure about that thing? I’m not an expert on magic, but even I can sense that thing is oozing evil.” Nutmeg: “I can taste the evil from that.” Mutt: “What’s it taste like?” HP: “Well,as someone who is an expert at magic, let me tell you that this is best in my hooves.” Swift: “Ok…” She says. HP: “Don’t touch it, trust me on this one. Don’t touch it.” Swift: “I’m not intending to.” Nutmeg: Nutmeg, arguably the most gullible person in the group, doesn’t even believe you. Swift: Champion says “So, you find anything out?” Mutt: “We got name and address of...what was their name...Night Sun.” Swift: “That’s a weird name.” Mutt: “Yep” HP: “Honestly, at this point, this is most of Canterlot.” Mutt: “It either a second fence or a trap. So let's go one in anyway.” Swift: “All right, lead the way.” Nutmeg: Well if it’s a trap, you know, you’d give us a big old weapon… Nutmeg: (while Half Pint shapeshifts) Each *fwoosh* Nutmeg jumps, like *fwoosh* “Eeep!” *Fwoosh* “Eeep!” HP: I look over at Nutmeg and go “You aren’t gonna get used to that anytime soon, are you?” Nutmeg: “No, probably not.” Mutt: “What he does is set himself on fire to transform, it’s not that weird.” HP: “It’s not...It’s not..no.” Swift: Champion goes “Does it hurt?” HP: “Well…” Gimbal: “Yes.” HP: Ok, too many people are talking over Half Pint, he’s confused. Swift: (On Half Pint not being able to use his wings) “Why don’t you use a pegasus form? That way you can fly.” Gimbal: “That’s the best form.” HP: “Because the only other option would be alicorn, and we all know how that one works. I’m proficient in magic.” Swift: Nods. Mutt: “Right, people would see you as an alicorn and think you’re an OC.” Swift:...A bad OC at that. Nutmeg: Like “That’s non canon, get out of here.” HP: (On royal guards) Yeah, you’re literally sitting around all day. And then doing nothing when danger arrives. Swift: Yeah, I know. HP: Unless you’re Shining Armor who does at least something… Swift: He knows one spell. Nutmeg: Throwing his wife! HP: He is the head royal guard because he has the initiative to throw his wife. Nutmeg: That’s his one spell, that’s his ace in the hole. HP: “Ok, before we go inside guys, I just want to mention. Let me ask the questions this time. This is a changeling after all we’re looking for.” Gimbal: “Right. Takes a changeling to know a changeling!” HP: “Exactly. Plus, she is interested in outsiders from what we hear.” Nutmeg: “W-why would she be interested in outsiders?” HP: “Honestly, I have no idea. It’s just what the other guy said. Anyways…” Nutmeg: “What if she likes to cook strangers?!” Mutt: “That’d be delicious!” HP: “Mutt…” Nutmeg: “Mutt…” HP: “...not helping.” Nutmeg: Pats him like “Thank you for trying.” (Half Pint gives Nutmeg a hug, no Night Sun does not have a pony larder) Mutt: Mutt should probably ponder about getting something to eat later. Nutmeg: “Really, that made you hungry?” HP: “Damn Mutt.”. Mutt: Just kinda figuring he probably keeps thinking about food and then just pauses and goes “Maybe I should go eat something before I start thinking more about food.” Gimbal: “Oh, you know where my favorite place is?” Says Gimbal. “Aw, The tasty treat!” Nutmeg: “I can’t believe me talking about us getting eaten makes you guys hungry!” Gimbal: “Yeah, yeah I’m kinda hungry myself.” Says Gimbal. HP: Even Half Pint, the changeling is just like “What the (I could go for a pizza) Nutmeg: “How have you guys survive this long?” Mutt: “Grit, gumption, and strength..also luck.” Nutmeg: Lot’s of it. Mutt: “...also Champion.” HP: And Half Pint goes “And you ponies used to call the changelings savages…Jesus.” Swift: “Who is this Jesus you’re talking about?” HP: “I meant Twilight obviously.” Swift: The pony version of Jesus from “The Big Lebowski” appears. Nutmeg: Have you heard the word of friendship? Nutmeg: Like, Nutmeg’s the last one not in there, and is like looking around, sees Mutt go in and “Uh, I don’t wanna be alone!” And just runs after them. Swift: (the team splits up) Rhythm Quartz says “Look, we should just wait out here and come bursting in if you’re in trouble.” Mutt: “Ok. Just listen for the sound of Nutmeg screaming.” HP: That’s what I was about to say... Swift: (On Flurry being concealed) In that case, she hides in Mutt’s waist coat. Mutt: Mkey. Swift: Mutt, if you had any candy left, it is now gone. HP: There's just a trail of candy wrappers. Nutmeg: Candy wrappers thrown out the pocket. Mutt: (At a apartment door) Can I put an ear to the door to see if I hear anything? Swift: Go ahead. Nutmeg: Accidentally knock it over, because it’s a really crappy door. HP: He taps the door, it just falls over. Swift: You can hear the sounds of the window being opened. Mutt: Oh piddlemuffins! Mutt: Ok, step one, tap Flurry. “Tell people outside to check the back. Meantime, I’m blow door open!” Swift: Ok, make me a body based roll Mutt. Mutt: Ok Nutmeg: “I’ll help!” Mutt: “Somehow I doubt it.” Nutmeg: Rolled a 3. Swift: No. Nutmeg: She takes the first go at it and runs out of his way, Swift: (As Mutt breaks the door) At the same time, the rest of you. You see Flurry flying in and she says “Quicky!” Of course in the Flurry langage (Uh, Breezie sir.) only you can understand...Well, good point...She says something in the Flurry language (Breezie sir.) which the rest don’t understand. Nutmeg: Nutmeg should have stayed behind… Mutt: Oh my god, our back up plan failed. Swift: So I’m going to do a check to see if they can actually make out what she said. Mutt: I just imagine Nutmeg speaks up “It’s ok guys, Flurry will tell the others and then she’ll…” Pause. Nutmeg: Yeah, I was thinking of that too. When she says it out loud, she realizes, and then smacks her forehead like “Oh no….” Mutt: (With Night Sun cornered) Upon seeing the terror on her face from realizing what’s outside. Mutt asks “Can we be civil now?” Swift: She sighs. “You gonna pay for my door?” Mutt: “You was trying to escape!” Nutmeg: I think the lesson we really should take from this is next time we’re doing something dangerous, just send Rhythm Quartz in. (Champion and Rhythm Quartz, Saturdays at 3PM. Also on VHS) Mutt: “Maybe if we rung the bell?” HP: (In negotiation with Night Sun) I turn over to Mutt, like “Come on, she’s just like the other one.” Mutt: “Well, the other one was upscale, had a cover story, and technically pose himself as a legitimate business man. So, you know interrogation methods would have caused a lot of problems, and…” HP: “Mutt….” Mutt: “...this one probably not so much.” HP: “No, no. No, bad dog.” Nutmeg: That’s our word. Swift: “How badly do you want to find this Midnight Prize? HP: “Pretty badly.” I motion to the knife. Swift: Alright, make me another heart based roll. Nutmeg: You’re not doing a very good job of looking innocent in front of… HP: Not trying to. Mutt: Ok, this is the equivalent of Mutt just looking at them, opening his jaw, salivating in a way to threaten them. Nutmeg: And on top of that we have a back up dragon. It’s been an interesting friendship. Swift: Gimbal, she cooperates now, but she is a little offended by the threats. That might come back to bite you in some way, you don’t know how. Gimbal: Yeah… HP: Threats? What threats? Who was threatening? Gimbal: We are. We busted into her house... Nutmeg: You wielded a knife! HP: I did not wield a knife, I motioned to it. Swift: That’s good enough to be a threat. Nutmeg: “I was just reaching for my gun officer.” Mutt: “My gun that happens to be in the table in front of me, in eyesight of you.” HP: She asked me “How bad did I want this changeling?” I showed the knife. How is that threatening? Nutmeg: You are evil. Gimbal: Yeah! This is how bad I want it! Mutt: The dark magic is affecting him already! Gimbal: Did you hold it by the hilt or by the blade? Mutt: If he held it by the blade he’d cut his tongue. Gimbal: So, maybe we should just say… HP: Thank you and move on. Gimbal:...Leave her some bits for the door, this never happened. HP: Exactly. Nutmeg: Just pretend we were never here…except for the damaged door...sorry about that… Gimbal: Wait a minute, do I have Bits and Bobs? Swift: You do… Nutmeg: You’re going to use that to get her a new door? Swift: No, you can’t do that. Nor can it be used to create money. Gimbal: Ok, because I’m broke right now, I can give her a hug. I can give her the power of friendship in a hug. Mutt: Banditry, intrigue, distrust...Who needs a hug? Gimbal: I got a 9. Swift: She just pushes you away. “Get off me, just go! Go now!” Gimbal: Well, we tried. We can tell Twilight we tried. Nutmeg: Now it’s Nutmeg’s turn to pat her, just like “At least you tried.” Swift; This part of town actually juts against the mountainside, so that’s where you’ll find caves. The more wealthy areas are more on that kind of plateau area, which means don’t be a sleepwalker if you’re wealthy in Canterlot. Nutmeg: Yeah, I’ve heard it’s a real problem. HP: You have no idea. Swift: They have a PSA saying everything about it. Oh, by the way, on the base of the mountain of Canterlot is bones of sleepwalking ponies. Mutt: You’d think they’d clean those up… Swift: Well, you might get your wish ZD. HP: Oh? Swift: The one you were talking about before we started? Because you were missing grumpy pants? Mutt: Grumpy pants? Swift: Nutmeg and Mutt, you realize you are being followed and stalked. By about a dozen mean looking, thuggish ponies. Mutt: Oh boy! Swift: So, what does Mutt and Nutmeg do? Mutt: “Uh, guys? Remember how we didn’t have a mob behind us?” Nutmeg: Well, Nutmeg takes careful consideration of the situation, thinks up a plan...I’m just kidding, she jumps up at Mutt and screams. Swift: He said “You shouldn't have been so impolite to Night Sun. We don’t like impolite ponies in these parts.” Nutmeg: I kind of imagine, after he said that, Nutmeg screams out “It’s not my fault! My parents say I’m special!” (Technical difficulties intermission) Swift: Half Pint has intimidated them... Mutt: That’s not a knife, this is a knife. Swift: Their beef with you is that you were, quote unquote, impolite to Night Sun. Which, Mutt, is not surprising to you. Thief societies are often very polite with each other. Mutt: We’re polite? Swift: There's often sharp objects involved, being polite is usually paramount. Mutt: “Being polite? She was about to hop the place. How was I supposed to know that was a common thing?” Nutmeg: Also, the door thing probably didn’t help... Swift: No it didn’t. Nutmeg: (As the mob leaves) Nutmeg, clinging to Mutt “Yeah....you better run…” Mutt: “Really, I think they're just walking.” Swift: Well, you want your fight ZD, but because you rolled so well you’re not gonna get it. HP: Hey, you know, I can live with that if I build a reputation. Mutt: (On Half Pint’s clear dark side) “I just realized this, but come you haven’t throttled anyone and did that whole mouth openy, green souly stuff drain? You had like two opportunities for that.” HP: I like whisper to Mutt, because the ones following us are probably still listening. I just whisper “I haven’t had the opportunity to.” Swift: You have with Champion. HP: Maybe, but he’s a friend. HP: (On moving a rock) I was thinking of turning back to the other unicorns who are following us “Any of you wanna help?” Nutmeg: Yeah, that’d go over great. Mutt: Go over great, and tell people we are looking into this. Nutmeg: (In caves of crystal) Don’t you think he’s gonna be tempted to take some of this stuff? Some of this crystal? Mutt: Well, it would be nice. Swift: It unfortunately is really big pieces so you have to break some off. The temptations is coming, though your fists can be a hammer sometimes. Mutt: Ok. Swift: Though it might hurt. Nutmeg: Might be wise to not bother... Mutt: But we might need it to solve a puzzle or something. Gimba: I motion to Flurry… Swift: Flurry drone again? Gimbal: Our fly on the wall, be our fly on the wall and report back to us. Swift: Ok. Alright, Flurry’s a drone. Gimbal: Yeah. Nutmeg: A drone. Swift: NSA spy drone. Gimbal: Or, if we want to make things interesting, I’ll be the drone. Swift: No… Gimbal: No, no, no. Because here we got someone who can shrink me. Nutmeg: He has a point. Swift: “yes,” Says Sugar Song. “But Flurry is already small so we can same on magic.” HP: I’d like you to mention, to us, the ones who don’t hear voices, that there are voices. Swift: Yeah, good point. There are voices. Nutmeg: By the way, there are voices! Gimbal: I don’t know if this will save on magic, but you could just, like, well you have growth magic you can just make my eyeball go really long. Swift: *Sigh* Nutmeg: *Laughing* Mutt: Wouldn't that hurt immensely? Swift: It would. Nutmeg: Gimbal, honey, that’s not how size magic works. Swift: Flurry just says “I’m off.” HP: “No wait.” Swift: And flies off down the tunnel. Nutmeg; I imagine she just flew off in the middle of that conversation when Gimbal started talking about stretching eyeballs. Just like “I’m out.” Nutmeg: I’m gonna be stealthy so I can try to tell you that it’s a bad idea to try to be stealthy. HP: Again, the diamond dog with a small fortune in his jacket, makes no noise. Swift: Yeah. Nutmeg: He’s that good. Swift: He is that good at it. He knows all the tricks. HP: A true thief when he wants to be. Mutt: He knows all the tricks, when he can remember what half of them are. Mutt: Please tell me Nutmeg didn’t step on a pop can. Swift: Oh, Nutmeg rolled only an 11. Mutt: Yeah, that’s why I asking. Please don’t tell me she stepped on a aluminum can that happen to be there. Swift: No, nothing so obvious as that. That kind of roll, that kind of thing means “Yeah you think your’re stealthy, but you don’t know for certain.” HP: Nutmeg, you didn’t have to move, you already heard it. Nutmeg: I wanted to be included! Swift: Flurry comes back. HP: “So, hun, how many are there?” Swift: She gives you a look that says “You haven’t earned honey poo yet. I’m still angry with you.” Nutmeg: You’re wifu’s still angry. HP: Half Pint gives a small frown, ears like go down. Swift: I know, yeah. Nutmeg: (On learning there was a yak with the baddies) Filthy, dirty yaks! Well, it’s a young one. He hasn’t been tainted by their (entitled) society Mutt: (On finding one of Break Fangs former members there) I was one of the ones that lost their teeth, wasn’t it? .Swift: Yeah, I mean, that’s all of her minions. Mutt: I mean the extra teeth. Nutmeg: If he’s missing a tooth, that means he likes Break Fang, which means he’ll help us. Mutt: Well, maybe, it could be the one that’s missing extra teeth. You know, the poisoners? Nutmeg: Well, those would be the ones that are repeated offender, I guess. Mutt: And probably not likely to help us, even if we name drop her… Swift: “Tell you what..” She whispers. “We’ll count his teeth, and use that as a gauge to see if he’s a friend or traitor.” Gimbal: Yeah, just say “Hey, smile for me!” Bring a camera out, yeah. Nutmeg: Smile you son of a bitch! Gimbal: (On battle plan) “Well, let's actually wait and see what they do and try to keep flowing then and see if we can find anything else out.” HP: “But if we do that, what if they go somewhere where there is more guards?” Mutt: “We blocked the entrance.” Swift: Flurry does tell you “I did see two other ways out of that cave.” Mutt: “Aw…” Gimbal: (more planning) “Wait a minute, can you change into, uh what’s her name...Sun Night! Crazy idea.” HP: “Night Sun.” Mutt: “Yeah, what’s her name.” HP: “I could.” And I change into Night Sun Gimbal: “And we’ll be your entourage!” Nutmeg: “Maybe if he goes in there with Mutt or somebody else who is a more obvious thief…” HP: “Ain’t no way I gong in there looking like Night Sun with miss “peeing all over herself” Nutmeg.” Gimbal: “Don’t worry, she’s cool. Just a little dribble…” Mutt: “She’s cool, provide she has ice with her.” Mutt: *wincing* Remember how Mutt was supposed to be stealthy on this? Swift: Wow. Wow, ok. Nutmeg: Uh oh. HP: You're a lumbering… Swift: Unfortunately, as you are walking along, you stub your toe on a sharp crystal outcropping. And you can’t help but yelp out in pain. Immediately, several sets of eyes go toward you and you realize the jig is up. Swift: Ok, Nutmeg, what are you going to be doing? Nutmeg: Well, pretty much as soon as all this starts going down she kind of takes out her hobo, the contractible like gardening tool thing, and takes out a bomb, one of her bomb things. Just sort of goes “Well I guess it all in now!” And charges in “AAAAHHHH!!!” Mutt: (On a heart roll) Holy crap. Swift: Hope you rolled well. Mutt: Uh, yeah. Yeah I did, a lot. Swift: (convinced the diamond dog to switch sides) Ok, alright. He turns and immediately charges at Midnight Prize, who goes “Oh crap!” Obviously she didn’t say what was going on. Mutt: Good rule of thumb, take down the spellcaster who can probably teleport everyone out when this goes south. Swift: Uh, Nutmeg, I’m going to need from you first a heart based roll. I know you made a fire bomb, but can you bring yourself to burn ponies alive? Nutmeg: Fair enough. HP: My little pony, my little pony, aaaahhhhaaaaahhhh… Nutmeg: She so badly wants to feel like a badass though. Swift: I know in D&D everybody’s a sociopath and kill without remorse. Mutt: They’re called murder hobos. Mutt: Smart money, light up the yak. Nutmeg: Rolled a 6. Mutt: You’re not lighting up the yak, are you? Nutmeg: Celestia bless her for trying. Swift: Oh dear. Okey, near you, in the first tunnel you are in, we have...Gimbal, Champion, Sugar Song, and yourself. You’ve dropped the bomb at your feet. The four I mentioned need to make body based checks to try to dive away from the explosion. Nutmeg: Poor Nutmeg can’t catch a break. HP: From now on, we’re not letting Nutmeg near fire. Swift: You are given glares Nutmeg. Nutmeg: Nutmeg kind of (mistakes have been made) up today… Swift: To quote Barret Wallace. Nutmeg: Should have went with the tangle one… Swift; You do manage to tackle her, however she was kind of ready, and she had lashed out her claws. She did nick you as you went it. HP: Wait, a claw? Swift: Changelings, they have claws. HP: No, no they don’t. Mutt: Let me double check on that. Really? Swift: (As an aside) This is the podcast of obscure references that I don’t get. Swift: (Half Pint knows what the unicorn is casting) Ok, not a teleport, that you thought she might do. Instead, it’s a beacon. She’s calling for help. HP: Ok, I call out “Mutt, take her down!” Mutt: “Doing that!” Mutt: (On Half Pint) Sorry, I keep forgetting your name. I keep thinking it’s Short Round. HP: No, that’s fine. Nutmeg: Short round! I thought that was just your nickname for him. HP: I thought it was just a nickname too. Swift:(Gimbal gets out a net) Alright, you pull out a net you had for some reason, and you’re going to throw a net at him. I’ll get back to you on that. Mutt: Please tell my you can yell “Drop the net Scoob!” Nutmeg: Yeah, this has been a Scooby Doo kind of day...aside all the blood and the fighting. Swift: Mutt, I know what you are planning on doing. You’re planning on basically trying to get the that unicorn and I guess punching it until it stops using magic? HP: (On Mutt’s plan to lift the unicorn) Use the unicorn as a javelin! Swift: So, are you going to try that? Are you going to rush in and throw the unicorn at the yak? Mutt: Eh, sure, why not? Nutmeg: Well, that turn was pretty discouraging. So I want to try to (I know we can make it together!) Nutmeg. Swift: Yep This time we’re going to use the tentacle one. I don’t want to accidentally burn someone. Swift: Okey, who are you gonna throw it at? Nutmeg” Let’s see, uh… Swift: You’ve got a yak charging at Mutt, you’ve got the pegasus charging lightning, you got the earth pony who tried to buck Half Pint… HP: He’s still there! Swift:...Although, you do that you will hit Half Pint as well. HP: What? HP: Just giving my opinion from across the room. You should come tackle the (POIsonous snake)! Nutmeg: Yeah, maybe I should change strategy altogether… Swift: Nutmeg doesn’t tackle. HP: Ok, shovel this bitch. Mutt: Nutmeg could use splash. Nutmeg: Oh, I see what you did there. Ha ha (It’s not very effective…) you. Swift: You could really show down that charging yak… HP: What about (perhaps I’m getting tired) earth pony kicking me?! Nutmeg: But if I go after that one, it’ll affect you too. HP: You don’t have to throw the potion! Shovel him upside the head! Go for the temple! Nutmeg: This is like a Tell Tale game. Like I’ve got the two options and the bar in the bottom is running out. But, I’m just going to throw the bomb at the… Swift: Half Pint will remember that. HP: Half Pint’s going to remember this (player choice). Reminder, Half Pint’s at 27 fortitude! Nutmeg: (save Half Pint) it! Going to charge in for Half Pint. Mutt can handle himself. Swift: Ok. Mutt: He’ll be fine. HP: Your future brother in law will thank you. Nutmeg: ...Well see about that… Nutmeg: You know what we should get one of those chess clocks. Gimbal: (Thunder and lightning)! I might need it because, snake eyes. Swift: Oh, oh this could be funny. This could be funny. Oh boy. Gimbal: Alright, 2 plus my body, right? It doesn’t really matter… Mutt: This is gonna turn out to be one of those “Champion bails us out” days isn’t it… Nutmeg: Maybe… Swift: Okey, you go to throw the net. Unfortunately, it hooks on your wing, then wraps around you and you slammed into the ground entangled in your own net. Gimbal: Like “I got this…” HP: Ok, I’m sorry, but where in the actual hell is Champion, Sugar, Rhythm, I mean, where the hell are they? Swift: Ok, first off, you’re the main characters.I don’t want to overshadow. I did too much last episode. Second, I’m getting to them. Last episode was a bit too Champion heavy. I’m trying to, you know, downplay that a bit. Nutmeg: Yeah, they’re there. Swift: You’re main characters. Mutt: Just keep screaming, Nutmeg. They’ll show up.” Swift: Take 10 fortitude damage from the hard fall, and take…. Nutmeg: Another 10 for pissing me off. Swift: No, take 10 willpower damage from you for humiliation. Gimbal: Got caught in my own net. Mutt: Can he roll for at least one of the guy we’re attacking just pausing and going “What?” Swift: Roll for laughter. Mutt: They just saw this guy go “Not so far evil doAGUH!” And they just pause and go “What? I...what?” Swift: Yeah, there are brief pauses, but it doesn’t slow them down. Gimbal: It’s up to you now. Nutmeg: I’d like to think Nutmeg was having just a little bit of a pity party, but then that happened, and it was “Oh, right, we’re all screw ups.” Mutt: Would it make any sense if I lifted the unicorn and used them as an improvised club? Swift: Yeah, you could try that. Mutt: It’ll stop the beacon spell as they basically go “Wait, whAugh!” Swift: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. So you’re going to try that? Mutt: Sure, why not? I’ll use him to strike the yak. Swift: Who are you clubbing? The pegasus or the Yak? Mutt: The yak. The yak is heavier, denser, and will knock out the unicorn on the first blow! Swift: Specially go for the head. HP: My little pony, my little pony… Mutt: It’s ok, he’ll live. I mean, he’ll wish he didn’t. Nutmeg: No mommy I don’t wanna die. Swift: Yeah, that’s gonna hurt. Yeah, yeah. Ok, you grab the unicorn, swing her as hard as you can at the yak that is stumbling around blind. Nutmeg: Oh damn. Swift: There is a sound of coconuts hitting together. HP: Jesus Christ! Mutt: I think the last words the unicorn had were “Unhand me you brute…!” *Pow* Swift: The unicorn slumps unconscious. That velocity against that hard a head, and even the yak staggers, stunned by that. HP: Now throw the yak at the pegasus. HP: “Listen, Nutmeg? I have a plan here, to stop all of this. Don’t kill me, 1. And 2… Nutmeg: Got it. Swift: No promises. Swift: Ok, in a rush of adrenaline, you charge in and wring your patented hobo. Patent pending, patent pending. At the earth pony, who is not ready for you, he’s been contracting on to get past this shield and get this crazy changeling attacking his boss. So when it hits him square on top of the head, doesn’t knock him out, but you definitely have his attention. So, chalk that as a win for Nutmeg. Nutmeg: That’s I think 2 out of the 2 billion on the little chalkboard. (Minute long description of Half Pint with the evil knife to Midnight’s throat, with sanity damage) Mutt: Aw, you should have gone for the ribs. Less fatal that way...I think. HP: Jesus Christ... Nutmeg: I think a stab to the gut would be worse. Swift: Did I empathize evil? HP: Yes, yes you did. But, I can resist it! Element of kindness, I’m able to resist that (dark side). Nutmeg: You’re resisting the dark ones magic! (Good news, the leader surrenders) Gimbal: Gimbal in the nets like “Hooray! Now untie me!” Nutmeg: Nutmeg get one more swing in. Swift: Rhythm Quartz goes to help you out of the net Gimbal, shaking her head. She whispers to you “Smooth.” Gimbal: “One, I don’t got magic like you guys…” Mutt: (Talking to the ally diamond dog on Break Fang) “Oh, that’s a simple one, I was there. First this changeling took her form, stole a bunch of stuff, then disguised herself again, made a run for it, framed her for it, and now she’s currently in the dungeon.” HP: “She also turned me back to normal…” Mutt: “Well, yeah…” Nutmeg: “Yeah, that about covers it!” Swift: The diamond dog cocks his head “What’s wrong with being normal? I mean, I’m normal. I don’t complain about it.” HP: “It’s a little bit different in Canterlot, the gala specificity.” Swift: “Oh.” HP: “With tons of rich ponies, which, kind of racist to be honest.” Swift: He nods sagely “Yeah. They try though, they try.” Nutmeg: I think Nutmeg’s over by Gimbal, just kinda like going “I (dropped the ball) too.” Just sorta like, we didn’t contribute much to the battle... Gimbal: I put out your little botched bomb there. Mutt: Well, yeah, that’s a contribution. Nutmeg: I might not want to use explosives anymore. HP: No kidding. Gimbal: Yeah, I know. You have the biggest body count of all of us here. Nutmeg: Ethically... Swift: Yep, maybe use your potions for more peaceful things. Healing and the like. Gimbal: It’s always the quiet ones. Swift: Nutmeg is the Unabomber. She’s alone in her little cottage in the Everfree forest. HP: By the way...what was his name again? Swift: Stripes. HP: Stripes. By the way, I’m Stripes. *Fwosh!* What’s your name? Nutmeg: Wilhelm scream. Swift: Ok, so you know, despite the fact that you know that knife almost made you kill somebody, you’re gonna keep it. Interesting. HP: No, listen… Nutmeg: That’s about the size of it. Gimbal: Gimbal’s gonna use that knife like later on. I have like idea here, for now you can judge it. To put jam on her toast. *laughter* HP: Half Pint call out “Gimbal, have you seen my knife?” “Yeah, I’ve been using it for jam!” “What!” Mutt: I would not lick that knife… HP: “Yeah, there’s this voice telling me to put more jam on the bread. It’s weird” Nutmeg: Like “Oh, it’s calling out to me! It’s telling me to spread jam. Do you have a mythical fork I can use?” Swift: (In the room of stolen valuables) Mutt, I want a mind based roll from you here… HP: Oh god. Swift: Actually, I want you to roll two dice, no bonus. This is where you’re fatal might come in. Certain stuff might not be recovered. You tried, but you couldn't find it, It already been sold. Mutt: Mutt looks at the loot pile. Just slyly whistles at it. HP: I just slowly walk over to Mutt, and just give him the stink eye. Just flat out, I don’t even say anything, I just give him the stink eye. Swift: Ok, Mutt, yeah you realize you've been caught. And what about you Nutmeg? Nutmeg: Nutmeg give you the “I’ve seen you, but I kinda sorta acknowledge it, even if I don’t approve, and I’m probably not going to do anything.” Look. Swift: Ok, I know the one, yep. Mutt: So two stink eyes, got it. Mutt: Mutt looks at the loot in his hands, looks at them, briefly just has this sort of *Nervous chuckle* Puts it back. Swift: Just checking it was all together. Mutt: And furthermore goes “Oh yeah, that one thing!” Pulls out the one thing he stole from that gala, puts it on the loot pile. Swift: Ok. Mutt: “I’m helping!” Nutmeg: “How have you manage to avoid jail again?” Swift: Because he usually gives back what he steals pretty quickly. Mutt: All they have to do is ask. Swift: Most cops that know of him, he’s more of a hardened kleptomaniac than a hardened thief. Nutmeg: He lives by the “Your name not written on it.” rule. Mutt: Also known as the Kinder rule in a funny way… HP: He literally steals from the diamond dogs, only to give it back a day later. Swift: Yep. Mutt: Well, if they ask him about it, yeah. Swift: The Great White Whiner, as they call her. She’s become a boogie man among diamond dogs. You know like “Eat your vegetable or the Great White Whiner will come for you.” Mutt: Or the Great White Whiner won't let you hear the end of it. Swift: Yep, ok… Gimbal: Don’t wear plaid or the Great White Whiner will come for you. Gimbal: What is it like Bloody Mary in the mirror, but she would be like giving you “Oh darling, you’re not going out like that!” *Scream* Nutmeg: (On getting reward money) Course, now we know, to Mutt this is a drop in the bucket to him. I’m going to remember this when I need to borrow money! Nutmeg: (As Stripes asks about Break Fang) Should we tell him? Mutt: I thought I already made it clear she’d been framed. Swift: Yeah, you have, but he didn’t quite caught on that she’s currently in prison. Mutt: ...What’s his intelligence? Swift: Let’s put it this way. You have a mind of 2, right? Mutt: Uh huh. Swift: You are a genius compared to most diamond dogs. Mutt: At least the dig dogs anyway. Swift: Any diamond dog almost. Mutt: ...That’s depressing… Nutmeg: Yeah, that is depressing. Swift: You can form coherent thoughts. Nutmeg: You are actually more civilized. Mutt: And me know I can use my strength to use ponies as weapons! Swift: Exactly. Nutmeg: Though you try not to do that… Mutt: Well, I know it causes durability damage on the ponies. Nutmeg: You also did it to a yak, so it’s fine. Swift: (Checking on Break Fang) It’s a prison, but the ponies aren’t inhumane, they treat their prisoners well. Gimbal: Instead of an iron maiden, it’s a fuzzy maiden. Swift: No, no, it’s the Spanish Inquisition. They have the comfy chair. Mutt: Yes, the comfy chair! And you will only be given a cup of coffee and a lemon until lunch time! HP: Half Pint, once again “It’s Canterlot. Everything’s nice.” (Brief bit of music for a second, I think it was a ringtone) HP: Alright, I turn to Break Fang “ Don’t worry. I know someone who can get you out easily.” Swift: She nods “No rush. Got pretty good meals here.” Mutt: “They do?” Nutmeg: Glad to know we’re busting out butts over such horrible circumstances that you’re in. Swift:Everybody make a heart based roll. Unfortunately, your penalty will apply here… Mutt: I was kinda afraid she was about ready to strangle someone over being locked up in this place… Nutmeg: I just gotta embrace my role as the white mage. If there is a lesson at the end of this game, it would be just embrace being the white mage and stop trying to make explosives. *MLP theme* Swift: ...Mutt, yeah, you can sense that… Mutt: So I was right on guessing she probably wants to strangle someone over this? Swift: She does, but she is actually realizing that if she wants to get out of here, she has to at least pretend to play nice. Mutt: Ok, I was worried a bit.
  2. This is the 3rd episode of ZDs video on the Equestrian Chronicles gag reel. I made a separate post so things don't get too crowded on the first. Things average about 25 or more pages and I can't just rename to topic forever. Credit goes where it goes. Swift Study, the GM, who has his blog (On this site) for the story bits. ZD did the recording, and is a player in the game. Lytlelemur and WillDaBeard are players that do art for bits of the campaign, as well as there own stuff that you can check out on DiviantArt. And likely more than that, just ask, they do a lot. As before, swears tend to be replaced with whatever I thought of being funny. I might retire that, as that is getting in the way.
  3. straydogdragon

    Equestrian Chronicles gag real. For fun moments. 2nd ep is up

    This being the gag reel of the second episode document, I will assume the original disclaimer is known...mostly because I don’t feel like retyping it...or copy/pasting it, or much else. Start/stopping a three hour video for several hours gets really tiring, and likely give a good view in to why video editors may crack under deadlines...or just not edit at all….Then again, what do I know? I don’t use video software...and will be likely my downfall... Our cast: Swift: A guy without glasses, despite what the fandom believes. Gimbal: The fun, rebellious pegasus that gets shipped with everypony. Mutt: Diamond dog waiting to be a character in the Yakuza: Equestria. Nutmeg: The nerdy mare fans ship with everyone despite having a real love interest...oh yeah, the love interest is in this session. Half Pint(or HP for short): He’s a shapeshifter...in this masquerade...hiding both face and mind…all free for you to draw… Swift: We are just starting off and now, our erstwhile Nutmeg is making her first potions, thanks to the new edge she’s bought. HP: Fire bombs! Woo! Swift: Ok, you can indeed make a fire bomb. Mutt: It’s more of a burning oil really. Nutmeg: Yeah, that kinda deal. The whole reason behind this is, is my head, Nutmeg’s had enough of being a pushover and she wants to make something to actually defend herself with. Mutt: Nutmeg activates Nerd Rage, strength goes to 10! HP: I’m just imagining Nutmeg standing next to Princess Celestia and one of her fire bombs drops and suddenly there’s a princess on fire, oh god. Mutt: Actually I imagine someone going “That’s a nice drink you’ve got there, I wanna have some of it *pop*” Nutmeg: That sounds more like something that would happen in a Doug Funny-esque daydream of Nutmegs. HP: It sounds like something Gimbal would let happen. Gimbal: Murder people? She has her own ideas for this episode HP: I didn’t say murder, but I did say let them open the bottle. Nutmeg: “That’s something I really expected from you Ed.” “It is something I really wanted to do.” Nutmeg: And I guess I’ll make the other 2 heal potions… Swift: Alright, I was going to suggest maybe something to boost your confidence in the gala… Nutmeg: Alcohol! I create liquor! HP: There is no better confidence booster. Swift: Because, here’s the thing. You’re going to be a heart 0 for most of the gala, because it’s all about interactions. HP: Oh god. Nutmeg: Oh god you’re right. But I almost want to let that trainwreck happen. Swift: But you could make a potion to...for like an hour, give you a +2 on social rolls. Nutmeg: Ok, so a “social bomb”? Swift: Well, it will be a potion you drink. Mutt: Social bomb! Swift: Or maybe a perfume? Nutmeg: Ohhhh, perfume. HP: She gets scared and she literally throws down a (glass) bottle “Ok, I can deal with it now.” Swift: You make sure they are clearly labeled. Nutmeg: Yeah, don’t do that Breaking Zecora shampoo nonsense. HP: I’m just imagining Half Pint watching as she’s making these things going “Oh god, please label those!” Nutmeg: Yeah, I imagine the two of them have been spending a lot of time together. Swift: Yeah, although I….Um... Nutmeg: Micro dorks. We ride together, we die together. Swift: Yes. Mutt: Hurr? HP: Hell yeah. Swift: Ok, now Half Pint, how do you hint that you want to go to the gala? Are you passive aggressive about it or are you like “Hey, that gala sure sounds nice!” Mutt: “It sure does!” Gimbal: Just find out who’s on the guest list and turn into them. Swift: (on the gala outfits) and with that in mind, your own dresses are also on the simple side of elegance. Mutt: Coo. Nutmeg: You know how elegant a tuxedo can be. HP: Yeah. And a top hat. Nutmeg: Yeah, PS Nutmeg ordered a suit and top hat. Swift: Yes, I remember. Mutt: Gender roles? What’s that? Nutmeg: And a bowtie of course, can’t forget the bowtie. She loves bowties. HP: Bowties are cool! Nutmeg: *after hearing loud coughing* I think we’ve killed alex. (I miss The Division…a little...) Swift: Mutt and Break Fang, you both have nice, simple, stylish waistcoats. Bowtie or tie optional. Nutmeg: Are their sleeves torn off? Swift: No, they are neatly removed. Swift: Mutt, do you want a bowtie, a tie, a cravat maybe? Mutt: What’s a cravat? Swift: *detailed explanation on cravat and such accessories* Mutt:...I think I’ll go with a regular tie… HP: So, did you say Half Pint’s dres...or suit yet…? Nutmeg: Half Pint’s dress. HP: Shut up. Gimbal: Dress here. HP: You don’t know, maybe he wants to be fabulous, shut up. Gimbal: (on Half Pint’s outfit size) Gimbal’s like “Hey, I think there’s something over here in the kids section.” HP: (My pants)...oh my god. Nutmeg: Nutmeg would be strutting and pretending to be a spy. Gimbal: She’s got a bit of a bucket list to do before the gala Swift: I don’t think you know what that word means… Gimbal: No, not before she dies, but, like….I apologize for that. But there’s some things she wants to do before the gala. Nutmeg: (On Half Pint’s unicorn power level) I don’t think you can move the sun and moon just yet. HP: Hey, listen. I could try though. Nutmeg: Anybody can try. Look, I’m trying right now, watch. Nutmeg: (About Gimbal wanting to bring a +1) You want to bring Tree Hugger, don’t you? Gimbal: No...she whispers to Nutmeg “Hey, we need something to put a little kick in our step.” Nutmeg: You need a little kick to go with the party...are you sure you’re not talking about Tree Hugger? Gimbal: No, we’re not going to need her. HP: Ok, Mutt, you are breathing right into your mike. Mutt: Huh? I thought I reduced the input thingy. Nutmeg: And Gimbal wants to get poison joke HP: Oh, poison joke. Ohhhhh… Nutmeg: Is that what you said, Andrew? Gimbal: We are gonna get that, just don’t touch it until the party. Mutt: I think when the flower breathes on you, you don’t get a choice in the matter… Nutmeg: Normally, I’d be excited, or overly excited about collecting something like poison joke, but now I have Half Pint. Gimbal: You’re right, he has telekinesis! Nutmeg: Right, that’s what I was talking about….(He got size magic, you can guess the rest, shrink stuff) Swift: Ok, well, so Nutmeg? What are you gonna do? Are you going to go along with this crazy plan? Nutmeg: I might as well. Nutmeg doesn’t see any harm in it. Because she’s not assuming Gimbal gonna use those for some nefarious prank. “Oh, Gimbal must have an interest in botany all of a sudden and wants to study poison joke...for reasons...” Gimbal: The edible variety! HP: Oh jesus christ…. Nutmeg: Nutmeg’s very sad when she has to take off the suit to go get poisoned joke. “Aw, I wanna be a spy…” Mutt: Spies don’t typically infiltrate forests… Nutmeg: You don’t know that… Swift:(While Nutmeg and Gimbal try to harvest poison joke) You’re a little nervous, a little… Nutmeg: A little like defusing a plant bomb. Swift: Exactly, exactly, and unfortunately I now want both of you to make another body based roll. Swift: Ok, you both barely manage to avoid the spray of pollen from the flowers, and you’ve got a small amount sealed in a jar. Nutmeg: “I think that’s all I’m willing to try to get.” Gimbal: That’s all we are gonna need.” Nutmeg: *relieved sigh* “I think that took a year off my life.” Gimbal: “Until you try these, cuz I’m gonna make my special brownies with these, so I’m gonna go home and bake them.” Nutmeg: “If you wanted to make special brownies why didn’t we just go see Tree Hugger?” Gimbal: “I can’t see Tree Hugger...she’s not in town.” Nutmeg: Gimbal owes her money. Gimbal: I gotta get my kicks on a budget now. Nutmeg: Also, special points to Nutmeg for knowing what special brownies are. Swift: Hey, it involved plants. Of course you know what they are. Mutt: This might be a bit weird, but do I have anyway of getting the floor plan of the gala area? Swift: I wouldn't say it’s impossible. It might involve wheeling and dealing… Mutt: Ok, good point. He has a mind of 2, this would be beyond him. Mutt: I’ll try asking Twilight for the floor plan. I’ll say it’s in case, you know “I want to know where all the exits are just in case of an emergency. And what to do in the middle of an emergency, weather it’s fire… Nutmeg: We’re going to steal the Declaration of Independence! Swift: I want you to make a heart based roll Mutt. If you have any skills like con man or, you know, lying through your teeth, or bull(stuff) artist… Mutt: *laughing* No. Nutmeg: Mutt’s many things. I don’t see him a talented liar though. Nutmeg: If Nutmeg wasn’t scared to death by authority, her and Twilight would get along just fine. Mutt:(on the palace blueprints Twilight just gave him) “Now me have to memorize this to memory…might be hard.” Swift: That’s the hard part, there blueprints. They’re quite detailed and the like. If you could somehow nick it and keep it on you, it would be a bit more viable… Mutt: Twilight would notice. Swift: Oh, yes she would. Mutt: Twilight would notice that I hadn’t brought it back and she would get up and go “HEY! You should return that...it’s my only copy.” Mutt: We’ll just see if I can memorize the exits just in case something happens. Swift: That’s not too difficult then. Mutt: “Thanks, now I know I have a disaster preparedness plan!” Swift: Indeed. Nutmeg: Twilight needs a TSA badly. Mutt: TSA? Nutmeg: Wrong one. She need security that tells her “Hey, don’t do that.” Swift: (As Twilight) “But it’s knowledge! It needs to be shared.” Mutt: “I’d like it to be familiar, know where the exits are, and where I can smoke.” Please tell me someone know what I’m referencing with that. Swift: (On Champion) Well, he is devouring that scroll. Not literally, it’s doesn’t work like that. Nutmeg: Edible books! Swift: That’s actually how you get it’s power, you have to eat the book. Mutt: We’re playing Diablo 1 now? HP: He sees Champion eating the scroll and says “So that’s why unicorns had paper around their mouths all the time...” Swift: Do you also try to ask about the incident that they keep mentioning about Nutmeg and the dragon? HP: *chuckling* Absolutely, I need to know about that. Nutmeg: In parentheses, “Please don’t tell my parents.” HP: (On how Nutmeg feels about the dragon incident) “I bragged about that to her…(Nutbunnies)! Nutmeg: Not unless you want to see a grown pony cry. HP:(Now knowing the story) Half Pint isn’t sure if he should be mortified or cheer. Mutt: I know the perfect way to defeat any dragon! Just make sure something enters its mouth! Like a stalactite or a piece of dynamite! Nutmeg: I know how to stop evil, explosives! Think we haven’t thought of that? HP: Half Pint thinks “Sweet Celestia.” Swift: (On Champion’s dragon slaying) You can tell he’s not proud about having killed a dragon. Nutmeg: Aw, but it’s super hard core. Mutt: (On the same story) He had a bit of a “Amuro Ray” moment. HP: I have no idea what to say about that (cool story bro), I don’t know how to give comfort to killing something. That’s a little out of my area. I pat him on the back I guess. Like “There there.” Nutmeg: Oh, you never killed anyone before, geeze. Live a little. This podcast brought to you by murder. Swift: He pauses for a second, trying to find the words in his somewhat limited vocabulary. HP: Or the GM doesn’t know what to say. Swift: Heh heh heh, no. Nutmeg: *singing* “Say what ya need to say…” Swift: (As Champion) “Just be warned, you hang with us, you’re going to see some crazy stuff.” HP: “Well, considering we found some shadow ponies torturing a dragon, I think I’ve already seen some (bad time).” Swift: “Yeah.” He says. Gimbal: Gimbal opens the door and says “Can we use your kitchen please? And don’t tell Sugar Song…” Swift: No, there not actually inside, they are actually out in a field practicing. Gimbal: Then it doesn’t happen. Swift: Yeah. Nutmeg: Sneak in to their house and use their kitchen…? Gimbal: No, Nutmeg, I’m going to ask you if I could use your house. Swift: (On Champion’s shield spell training) The main practice is having you fling stuff at him, that he can block with his shield. HP: *Chuckles* I’m picking up stuff and chucking it at him Swift: “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” HP: Oh my god… Gimbal: It’s dodge ball. HP: I’m just imagining like a semi-full grown pony just picking up objects and chucking stuff at a (magically gifted) child. Swift: Yep. HP: Ok, let’s see if you can block a lunch box. Swift: People walking past and your like “Context!” HP: Don’t worry, he wanted this. Nutmeg: Oh, saying that makes it way better… Swift: I had plans for this, yet plans never survive encounters with players… Nutmeg: Yeah… Swift: Ok, Gimbal, you got the jar of poison joke. Where are you taking it? Gimbal: Alright “Is your kitchen open?” Nutmeg: “Uh, maybe. I think my dad cooks brownies in my kitchen sometimes.” Gimbal: “Perfect, alright, we’re gonna make some brownies!” Gimbal: Alright, and we all have to do this without them. Swift: Yes. Gimbal: The ingredients. Mutt: Don’t touch them, don’t breathe them in, all sorts of fun stuff. Nutmeg: ...Don’t feed them after midnight… Swift: Ok, you do manage to make batch of about a dozen brownies. Unfortunately, you do absentmindedly lick your hooves at one point. Gimbal: “Hey, there's some chocolate on me…*lick*” Nutmeg: (As Gimbal) “Oh wait…” Swift: However, Nutmeg? Are you still there? Nutmeg: Yes. Swift: Watching in terror probably? Nutmeg: Just like hoping my mom and dad don’t come back from their, um, generic hippy activity. Swift: You can make me a mind based botany roll. Nutmeg: Ok HP: Basically, will you realize Gimbal (Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate ) up. Swift: Exactly, and more important know what to do about it. Swift: Yep, you know she’s probably ingested some of it, you know it will take a few hours for it to come to fruition. The effect will be unpredictable, but usually something that the person or pony in question would find very annoying. Like Gimbal might turn into some kind of Dwayne Dibley kind of person… Mutt: Wha...Wha…? Swift: Dwayne Dibley Nutmeg: Dwayne Dibley…? Swift: Ok, yes, my turn for obscure reference. A Red Dwarf reference. Nutmeg: It’s weird that it’s a plant that knows irony. Swift: Ok but you also know that Zecora should be able to mix up a antidote bath, well in this case, more likely an antidote throat wash. Nutmeg:...Just bring labels. Swift: Do you tell Gimbal this? Nutmeg: Yes , we need to rush over to Zecora’s place immediately. Swift: All right… Nutmeg: And I’m gonna bring my own labels. I heard what happened to Rarity. Swift: Well, luckily Zecora herself has learned that lesson. Nutmeg: Has she? Swift: Well in my canon she has. Nutmeg: Ok. Swift: Because I don’t make my characters stupid for a cheap laugh. Nutmeg: This isn’t The Simpsons. Swift: Spike at Your Service would not happen on my watch. Swift:(At Zecora’s) The first thing she asks, and forgive my lack of rhyming, she asks you “Why were you playing with poison joke? Gimbal: Hi there. Nutmeg: (As zecora) “Are you hanging out with less smarter folk?” Swift: *laughing* There you go, yes. She asked you why you were playing with poison joke. Nutmeg: “Uh….” Swift: Do you tell the truth or do you lie to her? Nutmeg: Well, Nutmeg’s element is honestly, so unless… Swift: To be fair, I don’t think she knows the full story of what they're for yet. Nutmeg: Yeah, that’s true. Swift: I think she might be able to put two and two together sooner or later. Swift: What about you Gimbal? Do you tell her? Gimbal: Oh, so she’s told me I prematurely ingested some? Swift: Yes. Gimbal: I think Gimbal would be in denial because nothings happened to her yet. “No, I just had some chocolate.” Nutmeg: “But why were you in poison joke?” Swift: (As Zecora) “Yes, why did you want poison joke?” Gimbal: Uh, if I’m caught in the act here...uh, “Oh, you know, it because it’s just a party...a party.” Swift: “What party?” She says. Gimbal: “Oh, well it’s, uh, you know...just a little thing called the gala. You know, just a little get together. Swift: “You wish to take poison joke to the most important social gathering of the equestrian calendar?” Mutt: Gimbal’s so good at digging she doesn’t need a shovel. Nutmeg: “You know, when she says what you were trying to do out loud, it sounds like that might have been a really irresponsible thing to do.” Swift: (After a heart roll) You both think she has the ingredients, but she wants to teach Gimbal a lesson. So she’s going to let you suffer the poison joke effect for awhile. Nutmeg: I knew it. Swift: Maybe learn some empathy. HP: You see, this is what Half Pint would have done. Swift: What, make him lose? HP: Listen, Half Pint’s forgiving, but if you wanna wreck a social gathering in his hometown... Nutmeg: (As Zecora) “Oh no, I just so happen to not have it..” Swift: Can I make one thing clear, as a GM to players? I know that the show made a big thing about pissing on the elite in the world, I don’t. If they aren't doing anything harmful, leave them the (fancy coffee) alone. Mutt: But those two rich ponies are fair game, right? Swift: Yeah, yeah, there fine. Mutt: Ok. Swift: But most of them are harmless. A little uppity, but you know not innately evil. Not innately deserving of something like poison joke. Basically, you were going to ruin their night. Gimbal: No, I wasn’t going to ruin their night…I/She was just going to ingest them at the party. Nutmeg: How would that not ruin their night? Gimbal: Oh…..I didn’t mean to harm anyone in doing this. Gimbal intent was not to harm people. Nutmeg: Of course it wasn’t Mutt: (From that game) “I never meant to harm anyone.” “No one ever does.” Swift: I never meant to harm anyone. I just thought arsenic would put a zing into their drinks. *Laughter followed by Mutt coughing* HP: Oh god, you killed him. You made too funny of a joke Nutmeg: Nutmeg wouldn't say anything because she thinks this is funny. Swift: Yes, there would be a bit of schadenfreude. As the next morning, Gimbal, you wake up to find yourself with a cloud over your head, constantly pelting hailstones on you. Nutmeg: HA! Gimbal: She’s asleep and like “Five more minutes.” and then she kind of realized. Swift: Not hard enough to actually cause physical harm, but it’s definitely annoying. And it’s random too, so she can’t get used to it. You try to talk and it’s like “Oh this, ow, sucks, ow, stop it, ow!” Nutmeg: It’s kind of like Chinese water torture. HP: That’s fantastic. Mutt: Just imagine Mutt looking at this and going “That mean we not need ice for party?” Swift: *laughs* I don’t think they’ll let you in like this. Swift: After a couple of hours of that, Zecora does then give you the antidote. HP: Damn, I was hoping Half Pint would see. Swift: Oh no, you all see. HP: Half Pint would kind of snicker. Like he sits there knowing “She did something, she did something wrong. I know what it probably was, but I’m not saying anything. Nutmeg: “Is it wrong that I feel bad, but also find this funny at the same time?” Mutt: “Meh.” HP: Half Pint is like “No.” Nutmeg: “Ok. Sorry I find this funny, Gimbal.” Gimbal: “It’s cool.” Swift: Sugar Song does ask you “What happened?” She does not suspect. Nutmeg: Even when Nutmeg wants to laugh that hard she can’t do it. Gimbal: “We were making brownies.” Is her response. “Yeah, I kinda misjudged the recipe a little bit.” Mutt: Oh my god, I just pondered what would happen if Gimbal didn’t clean up after baking those…like there’s a bowl at Nutmeg’s house... HP: Oh no. Nutmeg: “...Did we...clean up after ourselves when we were done?” Swift: I’m gonna let you two make a mind based roll… HP: Oh no. Nutmeg: Oh no… Swift: ...It’s going to be to see if you remember to do so. Mutt: Why am I imagine Mutt being the guy who says “Shouldn't blank happen, and then it happens? Swift: You’re secretly a god. Mutt: And then at least one character will probably start going “Shut up, Mutt!” Swift:...You both did remember. You washed it out very carefully. Nutmeg: “Thank goodness. I can’t get grounded again, I’m already down to two goodnight kisses..” Mutt: My god, poison joke contains distilled Discord! And we can extract the essence of it! Nutmeg: And Nutmeg’s been grounded, I think, twice now. But every time she’s grounded it’s like some really, really, not even really anything punishment. Like “You’re only allowed to watch 8 hours of tv.” Swift: Yeah. But your parents are getting tougher, only 4 hours. And they're like “Oh dear, have we gone too far?” “Be strong darling, be strong.” Nutmeg: “We’ll let her have three goodnight kisses tonight to make up for it.” HP: Jesus christ… Swift: Like I said, run while you still can. Swift: Now, quick thing here. Gimbal how much, if at all, are you trying to hide the fact that you’re broke? Mutt: (About shrink magic being used on cakes) Due to the nature of shrunken objects, wouldn't taking a bit out of one of those thing fill your mouth with cake? Swift: It would, you are encouraged to take nibbles. HP: Exactly. Swift: Nibble, mouth full of cake, swallow it down, next little nibble. HP: I’m just imagining somepony just swallowing the whole thing, and all of a sudden there stomach just goes *fwoosh* Nutmeg: And then somepony far away goes “Oh no, my fetish!” HP: (On learning about the band and considering singing) “I’m intrigued by this...let me in. I wanna do this.” Swift: Yep, that’s how you get into a band. Just say “Let me in.” HP: You’ve known me for, what, like a week? Mutt: Yeah, that’s like years in this time. Nutmeg: Kinda. If it could work for Starlight Shimmer, why not I? (No, no that is not a misquote...and it’s funny!” Swift: Gimbal, it’s three days before the gala.you’re just getting up in the morning, when your dad shouts up “Gimbal, your managers here!” Gimbal: She’s like, comes down the stairs. Swift: “Professional Gimbal! If you gonna be a rockstar, your going to be professional about it!” Gimbal: What? Mutt: Professionalism and rock star...ok. HP: (Trying to convince Gimbal to accept charity bits) I would say “It’s a bit more logical, I guess you could say...plus, if it is a pride thing,as I find is pretty common with this little group here, well you have money on you, and no one will suspect a thing!” Nutmeg: Can’t argue what that logic...actually you can, very easily. HP: Hey, listen...shut up. I’m hoping it works. Nutmeg: (On Half Pint wanting band posters) “What do you need it for?” HP: “Well, the key to any bands success is advertising, right?” Nutmeg: “Yeah, we would have printed more of these, but printings expensive.”...how do we print in this universe? Swift: Magic. Nutmeg: Oh yeah. Swift: That or dozens of scribes... Swift: (On Half Pint using his size magic) So, shrunk or expanded? HP: Uh, expanded. No, I’m just gonna shrink poster... Nutmeg: We’re gonna advertise to ants. Swift: Just shrink them, throw them down anthills… Mutt: Ok, the problem is they are paying us in leaves. I don’t think this is working. Nutmeg: What are you talking about? That sounds great! Ohh, this leaf’s pretty. Swift: Now there’s this big, huge poster the size of a wall. Now the tricky part, I’m going to need a pretty difficult body based roll to tape it up. Nutmeg: Nutmeg is watching all this while eating sunflower seeds. Swift: If you could fly, that would make this a lot easier. HP: Oh, but I can’t... Nutmeg: Technically Mutt: Well, you could do that thing that one unicon pony did that one time to fly? Swift: That’s highly advanced magic. Mutt: Oh. Mutt: (As Half Pint struggles to find a way to get the huge poster up) Considering we just need someone to fly, why aren’t you getting Gimbal? Swift: That’s a good question… HP: Listen, this is a spur of the moment thing. I wasn’t thinking...it’s fine…ok Nutmeg: (Likely as Half Pint) “It’s fine! I know what I’m doing!” HP: (Needing to shape shift, without Nutmeg knowing he’s a changeling doing it) I’m going to turn to Nutmeg “Ok, Nutmeg, you’re going to want to close your eyes for a second.” Nutmeg: “Wha?” HP: “I’m going to turn into something big and scary to move this.” Nutmeg: “Aw, well that’s so nice of you to consider my feelings!” Mutt: Awwwww. Nutmeg: She’s so overly trusting, just covers her eyes “Ok, I’m ready.” Swift: (As Half Pint ponders what to shapeshift into) Honestly, it’s not that it’s heavy, just that it’s awkward. HP: Exactly. Swift: But you could carry it as a changeling quite easily, or even as a pegasus quite easily. HP: Ok, well I don’t want anyone to see me yet, so I’m gonna put it up and tape it as a changeling, flying and all that stuff. Then I’m going to land and turn back normal. My unicorn self. Swift: Wait, wait, you’re putting it up on the wall as a changeling? HP: Well, I mean, I need the wings! Swift: Pegasus! HP: Oh yeah… Swift: You can turn into any basic form… Gimbal: You also have friends that are pegasus. Nutmeg: Yeah, you are making this so complicated for yourself. HP: I’ve never turned into a pegasus before, there is a reason for Half Pint’s dilemma. Nutmeg: (With all that time that has past) Nutmeg is getting really curious... HP: (Trying to convince Nutmeg he turned into a scary dragon while she wasn’t looking...and doing badly) One second, I’ve got this, I can save this. Nutmeg: Yeah, I’m gonna love seeing you try. HP: Hold on, what was it Nutmeg asked? Why was there no rumbling? Nutmeg: Yeah, like no stomping, no loud noises, I didn’t hear anybody gasp. HP: “We’ll I didn’t say I turned into a huge dragon. Just big enough that I thought it would have been scary.” *sounds of disbelief* HP: Listen, I’m trying my best here. Half Pint isn’t exactly the best liar. Nutmeg: Should I do another mind roll? Swift: No. Nutmeg: She’s pretty sure he’s lying. Mutt: “Me thought me was best digger.” Nutmeg: She’s gonna let it go, but she’s a little curious. Just like “Hmmmm...)” Swift: Yeah, yeah. The seeds are there. Nutmeg: The seeds of doubt. HP: Before Nutmeg can continue on, Half Pint just goes “So, uh, about that plane set?” Nutmeg: “Ohyea! Eeeeee!” Swift: Yes, that instantly distracts you. Nutmeg: Has a little clop. Swift: So, I’m guessing….have you made it yet? You gonna make it together? Nutmeg: They're gonna make it together, and then I’m going to get tiny, and ride around in it while you use your magic to fly me around my room! Swift: Ok, I’m going to leave you two there for the time being… Nutmeg: By the way, by the end of it, if they are actually making the model together, like, have you used model glue? HP: Yes, oh my god. Nutmeg: That (gorilla grip) gets you high as (a kite by then). It’s so strong. So, like Nutmeg is in a freshly glued plane just like “Yeahhhhh! I didn’t know my room was so pretty! Yeeeee!” Swift: Well, let’s move on to the gala. Nutmeg: Yes. Swift: I do want the gala to at least start. Nutmeg: (on how to get to the gala in Canterlot) I thought we could just do a song montage and just be there at the end of it? Swift: Yes, yes, that’s how it works. Nutmeg: Yeah isn’t it? Swift: Yes, exactly. Nutmeg: “I really need to get to Manehatten in a hurry...Quick, sing a song so there'll be a montage.” Nutmeg: (After using the +2 heart potion, from another pony perspective) “That pony is incredibly awkward, stuttery and sweaty...But she smells pretty good, so I’ll give her a pass.” HP: Basically, Nutmeg became a normal pony. Swift: Pretty much. Nutmeg: It just makes me think of Sponge Bob, the time he rounded out his edges and got like a normal face. “I’m normal. It’s good to be normal.” Swift: You are announced as “Sugar Song and entourage” Nutmeg: “Sugar Song and the entourage”? That’s a catchy name. HP: Sugar Song and other ponies. Nutmeg: “Sugar Song and excetra!” Swift: As you walk in, you see all of these well dressed, rich looking ponies. Some of them give you guys kind of odd looks, especially you Mutt and Break Fang. You’re given really odd looks. Mutt: “Hello!” Swift: Break Fang grinns at them, baring her teeth. Nutmeg: “Uh, huh.. You know what? I think I my, um, oven in my other...something. HP: Half Pint wraps a arm around Nutmeg. “It’ll be fine. It’s just Canterlot, it’s not that important. Nutmeg: “You don’t know that.” Swift: (On Flurry’s dress) Indeed, she looks absolutely gorgeous. The way the light shines on her dress. HP: Half Pint is (At higher temperatures) melting. Swift: Uh huh. HP: He’s just starstruck watching. “Ahhhhhhh…” Mutt: “Uh, short round? You’re kinda dribbling there.” HP: “Oh...ah, ahem.” Like straightens himself. Nutmeg: Yeah, meanwhile Nutmeg is making her own puddle with all the sweat she’s dripping with. HP: (When Thorax appears) Half Pint (Oh dear) freezes, I mean turns to stone. Mutt: You think changelings have soft shell meat? Swift: Good question. You’ll, uh, have to find that out… HP: So, he just asked if changelings have soft shell meat… Swift: I don’t think that was in character. Nutmeg: You don’t know that. HP: I wish it was. Because Half Pint, he might be frozen here, but even he would have to pause for a second. “Why?” Nutmeg: (On failing a heart roll) Too busy in pure terrified perpetual fear. Swift: (On Gimbal falling the same roll, citing being nervous herself) You really wish you had some of Tree Hugger’s brownies. Gimbal: Yeah, I know. Swift: There's an open bar, it’s looking really tempting… Gimbal: “...You know where to find me!” Swift: (Mutt noticing Half Pint’s source of worry) Thorax’s eyes meet Half Pint’s, and you see an eyebrow raise. He then says something quietly to his brother Pharynx. Pharynx also looks at you, Half Pint, with a piercing gaze. HP: *Chuckling in fear* I am (Crud! What do I do?!!) still. Swift: They then make their way into the gala propper, leaving you alone for now. You don’t know why, but something passed between them Mutt..something serious. Mutt: “I’ve got it! Half Pint must be some kind of bastard brother of his. They’ve come to finish the job!” Swift: Yeah, yeah, there you go. That’s it. Nutmeg: Mutt notices, and isn’t even helpful… Half Pint: Honestly, Half Pint would rather take that than what the actual truth is. Swift: Actually, Mutt, what it could be...your thief training reminds you of a cop who knows your guilty but can’t prove it yet. That’s the cleaver look it seems to be. Mutt: I suppose in that case it goes to “Uh, did you steal from him once?” Nutmeg: Owe him money? Mutt: Mutt nudges him “Is this bad?” HP: He just jumps. “Huh? Wha? Wha? Wha?” Nutmeg: You don’t want to talk about the nothing you didn’t do. Swift: (After Half Pint quickly excuses himself) Break Fang shrugs, hooks an arm with yours Mutt, and says “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat!” And starts to drag you to the horderves table. Mutt: *quick and nervous* “Ok!” Swift: (On Nutmeg’s future love interest) She happens to glance in your direction and catches your eye, and she kind of smiles at you. Nutmeg: *Panicked* “Ah!” Swift: She seems to be having some trouble with some equipment there. Might be a conversation starter, you know your way around… Nutmeg: I don’t think Nutmeg knows much about electronics...but she’ll try. Nutmeg: Nutmeg just very timidly shuffling over, bit by bit. Shoving her way past people. “Excuse me...sorry...Nice dress, or suit, I’m not sure what that is…” Finally gets up there. Swift: Yeah. Nutmeg: “Hi…*ahem, now manly* Hey! *back to normal voice* So, you come around here often?” Instantly feels stupid. HP: Oh my god. Will, that (timing) killed me. (Stallone) deep voiced Nutmeg. Jesus christ, I was picturing the scene. I was imagining a little timid Nutmeg going up to Moon going “Hey *deeper* hey baby!” Nutmeg: Trying to sound cool and falling exponentially. Swift: A little too much testosterone in the perfume. HP: Nutmeg got some balls. Swift: In the meantime, Mutt? Mutt: Yep. Swift: Break Fang and claimed the horderves table and she is stuffing herself with horderves. Every time another pony comes and tries to claim one, because you know there for everypony, she goes “*growls*” Mutt: Might I ask which horderves she is eating? Swift: She doesn’t care. Nutmeg: All of them! Mutt: On one hand, I could tell her this is how she got that stomach ache that one time. On the other hand, maybe I should just watch this happen. Just take a nice careful drink from something. Nutmeg: See how this plays out. Swift: So you're there keeping an eye on Break Fang… Mutt: Do I have any opportunities to randomly lift things? Swift: Yes there is. Mutt: Oh boy! And then a guard pony pauses, going on the whole “Lift things” thing. Then Mutt, with a smile, just lifts random plates and puts them back down, and lifts them again. “I’m lifting!” Guard pony just shakes their head. Swift: Well you better believe, by the way, they are keeping a close eye on Break Fang. Mutt: Ok, this should work in my advantage. HP: (On Mutt trying to steal something) We’ve been here for 5 minutes, jesus christ! Nutmeg: It’s actually fairly restrained for Mutt. Mutt: Maybe I’ll be lucky and lift Upper Crusts, uh, something...I don’t know what they’d be carrying. HP: (On Mutt stealing from a pony with stealth, despite his size) Christ, this is like a tank trying to act like a humvee. It doesn’t exactly work, but somehow it’s working. Mutt: No one expects the humvee to be the tank! Or, wait, what? Nutmeg: That works. Nutmeg: *singing* “To the gala! We’ll (ruin) everything!” Mutt: Well I’m not destroying things, just lifting things. Nutmeg: “We’ll (mess) up the gala! (the usual) the gala!” Mutt: No, that’s Gimbal’s job. I’m just happy to be along for the ride! Nutmeg: We’ll all manage to (Penguin) it up one way or another. Why else would Celestia invite all of us? *Inset purple ninja joke here* “You ain’t seen a purple ninja yet, have ya?” (You mean the Foot Clan?) Mutt: (On reformed changelings being hippies) We just need one changeling to start saying “”It comes from the earth.” Nutmeg: I think Nutmeg would get along with these changelings. Gimbal: (To Half Pint at the bar) “You know, ponies don’t want to be big and small like all over. But in places though….” Swift: Uh oh, can we keep this kid friendly please? Gimbal: “Okay, you know, like taller…” Nutmeg: Where is this going? Gimbal: “You know, can you make, like...you know I’ve always had like thin little pegasus lips. You know? Lips.” Mutt: Eh? HP: I took that the wrong way… Gimbal: No, no, no. “No, on my mouth.” She points to her mouth. HP: I know, I know what you were mentioning, and so does Half Pint. But my real life self is a perverted (person man). Nutmeg: Yes, yes you are. Mutt: Natural mouth enhancement! Nutmeg: Magic surgery? Swift: Pretty much. Gimbal: (after having a body magic spell cast on her) I guess this is already complete, but she’s like “Could you make my wings a little bit bigger? And my mane a little bit…” HP: Half Pint slams his appletini and just kind of looks at her like “Really?” Gimbal: “Just 4 inches taller, don’t have to be a giant. Just like 4 inches, kinda of like a Celestia build a little bit.” Nutmeg; Could have just worn heels… HP: That’s what Half Pint says “Why don’t you wear heels?” Gimbal: “My hooves won’t fit in any of these.” Mutt: Out of curiosity, have guards unfortunately been called in with Break Fang kind of domination the horderves table? Nutmeg: Nutmeg trying and failing at good pick up lines. Swift: Yes. To answer your question, Mutt, technically she’s not breaking the law yet by hogging the horderves. And she’s still pretty scary, so you know. They’ll do their job, but they really hope they don’t have to...for her sake of course, for her sake. Mutt: I think they need Champion… HP: Half Pint’s like “Yeah, totally for her sake…” Swift: (with Nutmeg ship) In the meantime, yes you are quote unquote trying chat up this beautiful unicorn. Who is just watching you with this really sweet kind of indulging smile. Their like “Oh god, this thing is adorable.” Nutmeg: Just like “Can I keep you?” Nutmeg: What kind of weird attempts at one liners would she try to put out there? It’s like, trying to help her fix the electronics, is something along the lines of “These aren’t the only things that have... are lively around here...hahaha” HP: Or like “ Oh, looks like there’s a little static, kind of how I feel around you. Ha ha...ha ha ha.” Swift: “Oh, talk about sparks, hey?” HP: We’re all giving Nutmeg pickup lines. This is awesome. Nutmeg: Yeah, these are all lines she would use. HP: Oh my god. Swift: Hey, in the comments, write Nutmeg pickup lines! Nutmeg: Probably take two different actual pick up phrases and mixes them together? Swift: Yep, yep. Nutmeg: Like, “You know, the letters of the alphabet? Because I put you and I together! Wait, wait I missed a part! Um….” HP: We need to start a hashtag, hashtag: Nutmeg pickup. Mutt: Hashtag: Nutmeg pickup. Ring ring, ring ring. Nutmeg: Boo…..”This the Krusty Krab?” “No, this is Patrick.” Swift: (After Half Pint fails a roll to figure out if Thorax is plotting towards him) Ok, you have no idea what is going on and you’re assuming the worst. Any second now, you are going to be tackled, and forced to change, and arrested, and sent to the moon, and all at once. Nutmeg: Sent to the moon! All at the same time! And we’re going to call your mother and tell her you’re a bad boy! HP So the’re gonna call Chrysalis? Swift: And, worst of all, Celestia will be disappointed. HP: I know. Oh god, poor Half Pint. Nutmeg: (As Celestia) “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed…..And mad.” Swift: Her lower lip will quiver. HP: I feel bad for my character. Half Pint, oh god. My poor baby. Nutmeg: Welcome to my world with Nutmeg. Swift: The bar keep sees you sweating and he says “I think you’ve had enough sir. You seem to be, uh, leaking it.” HP: “I-I-I’m-I’m fine.” Swift: He tries to subtly, you know, pull the bottle away from you. HP: He takes it, I’m not a strong person. Swift: No your not. HP: (still in a world of terror) I just know that they’ve seen me, and I am (It’s a trap!) dead. I know everything is the worst, everything’s awful, I am going to go to the (made of cheese) moon! Swift: Yes, indeed. Nutmeg: Having all of those Doug Funny nightmare daydreams… Swift: Also, You’ll start a changeling/pony war, as they assume changelings are turning back to evil. Nutmeg: Right HP: Oh god. Mutt: And then it will end at season 7 for some reason. (This will explain everything 2:23:21) *Everyone loses it.* Nutmeg: *laughing* You somehow got the show cancelled! *more laughing* Nutmeg: Everything went wrong! HP: They suddenly get a message from Hasbro. “Sorry everyone, but the character Half Pint (I can’t believe how funny this was!) the series.” Nutmeg: Like (ruined forever) it. Swift: No, no, no. They save it. Half Pint, sotto voice “I must leave you now. My people need me.” Mutt: Half Pint died on the way to his home planet. Swift: Oh goddamn...this was gonna be a fancy affair, what happened? Anyway… Nutmeg: We happened. HP: I happened. Swift: (Narration of Sugar Songs singing giving everyone pause, and the room becomes quiet) Mutt: Even Break Fang? Swift: Even Break Fang. Mutt: Ok. Nutmeg: Anybody else surprised that Gimbal isn’t the one drunk off her ass? Gimbal: For practice, holding my liquor in. HP: Well, she’s not the one with multiple of her species watching her. She’s not the one to be sent to the moon. Swift: I don’t know. I think Gimbal may be one that list… Swift: (As ponies begin dancing to the music) You see Rhythm Quartz take Gimbal on to the dance floor to dance with him. Mutt: Take Gimbal to dance with him? Gimbal’s a guy now? Swift: ...Takes Champion… Swift: (On Half Pint’s attempt to dance with Flurry) It’s more or less that she’s dancing around you, and you’re kind of following her. Nutmeg: Awwww… Swift: Unless you want to either A, cast a shrinking spell on yourself. Or B a growth spell on her. Nutmeg: One will be slightly more upsetting to the people around you than the other. HP: She’s dancing around me, and I’m basically turning around and calling it dancing… Swift: Exactly, Exactly. Nutmeg: She trying to just keep you from getting more drunk. HP: I have a sinking feeling this is making me dizzy. Swift: Oh, don’t worry. We are getting there. Nutmeg: We’re getting there. Swift: And when it happens, it’s gonna happen. HP: It’s Flurry’s fault. Swift: (Gimbal is trying to partner swap with Rhythm Quartz) So you dance with this handsome Canterlot unicorn… Gimbal: Blue Blood, I’m guessing? Swift: Uh, no, no, no. Not Blue Blood. I know you’re jealous, but would you really put him on Rhythm Quartz? Gimbal: Maybe not. I’m not that cruel. Swift: No, just some young up-and-comer… Mutt: You try trading Blue Blood to Rhythm Quartz, and he just pauses and goes “Eagh!” Swift: Now, Gimbal, make me another heart roll without the bonus. Gimbal: All right, she’s like “All right, now kinda dance over, hey, follow my lead.” It’s basically, like “Keep dancing me in this direction.”. Swift: Yeah. Gimbal: And this entire time, she’s looking over her shoulder “Oh, you’re a great dancer! Keep it up.” Swift: (After Gimbal gets Champion away from Rhythm) If Champion has any idea what’s going on between you and Rhythm Quartz, he’s hiding it well. HP: Even Half Pint in his drunk ass state can tell there’s jealousy. Swift: Oh yeah, you can tell. Nutmeg: Even Nutmeg would be able to tell, if she wasn’t currently, absolutely locked on to her current pony. Swift: (On Nutmeg and Moon dancing) Of course, Moon is leading, because Nutmeg’s frozen most of the time. Nutmeg: She’s frozen and confused. Swift: Yep Nutmeg: “Why are we dancing? What’s going on? Did I do something? ” She’s not quite...well, she’ll get it eventually. Swift: (After a spell brings out Half Pint’s true form) There’s a sudden flash, and where once was Half Pint, is a changeling. And not a reformed changeling either, but a proper, old fashioned, hardcore, gothic changeling. HP: So, um, remember how I was drunk off my ass? So my blood alcohol level was like nose up there? It just dropped to negative 11. Nutmeg: Instantly sober! Swift: There is an instant of staring, and then there is screaming and panicking. Mutt: Mutt looks up. Realizes....I don’t know if he’d be able to realize what just went on. Looks up, “Huh? What’s the screaming? Do you think Gimbal...no, there’s a changeling. Why is there a changeling dancing with Flurry?” Swift: I need everybody do make me a mind based perception check. HP: Including me? Swift: Including you. Nutmeg: Any penalties for me? Swift: I’m going to give you a -1 affected by the pretty pony penalty. Swift: Seeming to take advantage of the chaos, Break Fang is just running through the crowd, pushing ponies over and grabbing handfuls of gems and jewelry. Nutmeg: Oh course. Mutt: And I thought I failed at subtlety… Swift: Yeah, this is way too familiar. The old “force a changeling reveal and then steal in the chaos”. It’s a classic. Nutmeg: Well, yeah. HP: I was thinking, yo, at some point Swift’s gonna tell me I passed out. Like from drinking or some (mishap) Swift: That’s boring. Mutt: (On realizing the thief is another changeling) “Uh, ok. There is a thief that isn’t me.” HP: I’m used to being the only one. Nutmeg: (As Celestia is calling for calm) (Praise) you snow-globes, it everypony for himself. Mutt: Snow-globes? Swift: One of Celestia’s nicknames. Nutmeg: For Totally Legit Recap. Mutt: Seriously? Nutmeg: Because she’s got that badonkadonk butt. Swift: Praise the sun indeed. HP: And people wonder why I don’t enjoy the Lunar Rebellion… Swift: You need both hands to praise that sun. HP: Solar Empire for life. Mutt: (on how calculated the robbery was) Yeah, I figured it was pretty calculated by a few couple degrees and what’s it’s. Considering, you know, shape shift, shape shift and run. You know, you don’t just use that for party favors. Swift: No. Mutt” I mean you could, but it’s not usual. Mutt: (On the reveal that a necklace was planted on Break Fang) “Holy crap that guys skilled….Oh, no! That’s Bad!” Swift: Ok, Nutmeg and Gimbal, by now you know there’s something going on. And it involves this, well, apparently your changeling friend… HP: Which you now know is a changeling. Nutmeg: (On the reveal for Nutmeg) She looks over “mmmm hmm” and then notice changeling, and guards “Aaaahhhh!” Goes to cling to Moon “What’s happening?! Where’s Half Pint?” Gimbal: Gimbal has used this opportunity to hold Champion much closer to her and she’s like “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from these wizards or whoevers…” Then like “Oh no, they’ve changed on of our unicorn friends into one of those dirty changelings!” Mutt: Well, seeing as the thief is...awhile from here, good luck. Swift: Mutt, do you encourage her to go quietly? Because she looks like she’s going to fight tooth and nail. And therefore make things worse. Mutt: *ulp* “Uh, it ok. Just calm down, we try fix this! Here.” Give a plate of hors d'oeuvres. “Here, just snack on this in the meantime.” Nutmeg: Please, have a heart...based roll. Swift: A massive brawl breaks out. Mutt: So much for the hors d'oeuvres… Gimbal: Don’t worry, my uncle’s a lawyer. Swift: He is. But he’s mostly for small claims. He’s hardly an attorney Mutt: “Aw, me think me screwed up somewhere...” Swift: Half Pint? HP: Yes? Swift: Flurry seems to have calmed down. And she’s not running in terror from you. She’s instead just giving you a curious look, as if to say “So when were you going to tell me?” HP: I just give her a smile and go “Eh, heh heh…” Swift: (Half Pint is with Thorax) He tells you “Princess Celestia has always known you were a changeling.” Nutmeg: Ha! HP: Wha ha ha. Sorry, I’m trying be serious, but Will’s “Ha” (timing!) killed me. “What?” Swift: “Did you really think you could hide from her?” HP: “I mean, I had an idea…” HP: “So you’re telling me I could have gone all out and gotten the best grades and nothing would have come of it? No one told me this sooner?” Swift: “She kept it secret for your sake. You don’t exactly look friendly. You look like an old unreformed changeling.” HP: His king just told him “Sorry, but you look like a scary minority.” Nutmeg: At least he’s honest. Swift: Yeah, the only difference is there’s an actual reason to fear you. Because changelings actually are dangerous. Nutmeg: Oh geeze, here comes the politics… Swift: It’s, well...yeah. I’m saying the analogy doesn’t quite fit. Nutmeg: Now we’re gonna have to get in to discussions if we should screen changelings at airlines. HP: (seeing something off about Midnight Prize) Listen, I know nervous… Mutt: (As Half Pint) “I’ve been it my whole life.” HP: Yeah, I’ve been it my whole life. Nutmeg: “Ditto.” Swift: (Half Pint casts dispel magic) Ok, you don’t know what you were expecting, but it wasn’t this. As you cast it, her whole body suddenly collapses into a pile of, like, various junk. You realize it was a double, it was a constructed decoy. Mutt: Aw, you went back and did that classic changeling thingy, with the whole glamour copy thingy! That’s awesome! Also, how do I know this? (Somewhere, Twilight’s jaw dropped.) HP: (After Midnight Prize’s plot has been uncovered) You see, this right here, this right here is another reason I moved to Canterlot. Mutt: Yeah, the plot’s are thicker here. HP:....jesus christ… Mutt: The plot as in story, thank you! HP: I’m a little pissed at my species right now. Swift: Don’t be a self hater. HP: Oh, I’m not hating myself, I’m hating others. Nutmeg: Self hating changeling. HP: I love that fact that Mutt also stole something, but he’s still trying to help people get their stuff back. Swift: I know. Good question, Mutt. Do you try to give back the thing you stole? Mutt: Well, if they ask. If they ask I’ll hand it back. Nutmeg: If they ask. HP: (The hunt for Midnight Prize begins) Half Pint is going to get to her first Mutt: “Speaking of which, Half Pint, when you said she’s yours, was that a romantic thing? Or how does that work?” HP: “What?” Mutt: “Well you said she’s yours, right?” HP: “That was not in a romantic way.” Mutt: “Ok, it's just that I have a few things I’d like to share with her. Namely breaking a couple of her kneecaps and then taking a handful of teeth out…but you know, if you’re ok with sharing.” HP: “If anyone is going after her first it’s me.” Nutmeg: “Do we really have to be so violent? I know she was mean and all, but you know…” HP: “Yes.” Mutt: “Can I at least get the handful of teeth? Figure Break Fang will want those.” HP: “Eh, fine.” Mutt: “Thanks.” Nutmeg: “Maybe we can ask her to politely apologize?” Swift: I think we’ll wrap up here. Do you want to sign out or shall I ZD? HP: I’m gonna do it this time, ya’ll took (past 3 hours) forever. Swift: I did do it, but then people kept talking. Nutmeg: Who talks during a D&D game?
  4. straydogdragon

    Equestrian Chronicles gag real. For fun moments. 2nd ep is up

    All names have been changed to protect the innocent, by which I mean I use the character names. (on second thought, nah) True names can be disclosed by order of Proper Paperwork, acquired from Discord, or shared by the players themselves....Or you could just ask ZD about it, this is the poorly abridged text of his video anyway. If you want the serious game that reads like a fantasy novel, which I'm sure omits distractions for a good reason, check Swift Studys blog on the Equestria Daily forum. This transcript, typed by a person with too much time and no art skills, will attempt to summarize (or get the fun parts) of 3 hour videos. Omitting odd pauses, rules lawyering (unless funny), and time lost due to disconnects (also, unless funny). Pretty sure this all falls under fair use, or if not, non profit enough to avoid too much scrutiny...at least until content ID bots are used for text documents. Anyway, remember the rule 0 and 1 of role playing. I forget the real wording, but I think it meant "Have fun together". ...Or it was something boring like "GM has final say" and "Don't give the GM ideas". But where's the fun in that? Expletives are censored by whatever I can think of. Bleeps are boring and I am stuck typing this. (update, finished typing this. I’ve heard my own voice enough that I wonder why people haven’t told me told me to get a voice coach to sound less grating.) Our cast... Swift: The lord of change Gimbal: the other Rainbow Dash and rock and roller Mutt: the loony and local rich homeless dog Nutmeg: a friendly nerd and frightened earth pony Half Pint: a serving size, and an edgy changeling (Can’t wait to get to the knife story, but that’s a long way off...) round 1 Swift: Now, Roleplaying is Magic is a fan made roleplaying game based around the mlp universe. Nutmeg: D&D, but with ponies! Half Pint: Oh, it great. Swift: Yes, it a very good game. Not to brag, but what would I brag for, I didn't make the game. Mutt: *burp* Swift: But I do believe it to be better than the official, uh, roleplaying game and you can fight me on that. HP: *laughs* Mutt: I thought the official game was like Gameloft mobile? Swift: No, I mean the official game, pen and paper game, Pony Tails. (well, Tails of Equestria. Honest mistake…) Mutt: Oh, ok. Swift: The idea of recording this we've played around for awhile, until (half pint) joined us we had nobody with the expertise and all equipment to do so. HP: He says expertise, but I don't know the (buy some apples) I'm doing. This is great. *laughs* Nutmeg: Do what Lytle and I do, pretend we're professional. Swift: Seeing as this is a campaign that is well and truly established, new listener may feel a little lost. For them, I am going to be putting a link to an Equestria Daily blog post I have been writing since the campaign’s inception. That’ll catch you up. HP: He says he’s doing it, but it’s my (ultimate masterpiece) description. So I have to (raise the banner! ) do it, it’s my work. Swift: That is true...there will be a link. Happy now? Also, put a link there for the Role Playing is Magic site. I want more eyeballs on that site. HP: Oh, do more work? That’s great, awesome. Swift: Oh no. Copy, paste. Oh, that is so difficult. HP: You don’t understand, it’s Bull(ox). Swift: Ok, let's go down the line and introduce my players and basically the characters they're playing. Let's start off with Lytlelemur Gimbal: Hello everyone. A teenage pegasus named, uh, Gimbal Lock. She's, uh, kind of a... HP: You got this. Gimbal: She's kinda a lovable loser a little bit, but she's a lot of fun to play. HP: A lovable loser, that's cute. Nutmeg: Remember one time you described her as Rainbow Dash if she was a loser. HP: *laughs* Gimbal: Uh, yeah, pretty much. Swift: You know, just because adding even more to (hp's) load, let's bring some links to Lytlelemur's comic he's made about Gimbal. HP: (Brother, I am hit) you. *laughter* Nutmeg: (I feed on pain) you, we worked hard on that comic. HP: You'd better be sending me those (Get it together Shas'la) links. You'd better put this in a (squad broken) row. Like I can copy and paste that (squad morale restored) and I don't have to browse. Swift: We'll send you some links. HP: Oh mot now if you want to start the discordship. Just after the thing. Swift: Alright, uh, Odd Collector. Mutt: Uh, that'd be...my character is Mutt, a diamond dog who just happened to be there. HP: *laughs* Mutt: Just does his own thing, has done thing ridiculous and poorly thought out. Which is in character for him as it's his downright fatal flaw. Humm, let's see. We're staring down a dragon and it's setting fire to stuff. OI! Call the dragon down, see what happens! We nearly got killed. HP *laughs* Why the (do you want to see a movie?)... Nutmeg: I would think his fatal flaw was his kleptomania. Mutt: Well, that too. I still have Filthy Rich's cuff links. Swift: I think kleptomania is covered by "doesn't think things through". Nutmeg: *laughs* He's a kleptomaniac with a heart of gold. Mutt: I also took that dragon's eye after it was dead. I figured it would come in handy. *laughter* HP: My little pony, everyone! My little pony! Nutmeg: Nutmeg killed a dragon once.. HP:Oh... Mutt: With dynamite. HP: How the (hit me hard) did Nutmeg... Mutt: Dynamite. HP:..Kill a (roughing, man) dragon? Nutmeg: We'll get to her later... Swift: And actually, later would be now. WillDaBeard, which most of you already know probably since his was on the latest blog post. HP: Hello, that's my (check it out!) Swift: I'm slowly but surely taking your job. *laughter* HP: (Aw, hamburgers) you. Swift: Except I'll have you do all the work and I'll take the credit, that's how it works. HP: Yeah, especially (...jail) you. (The man behind the mask) I'm working for... Nutmeg: That actually is kinda how it works... Swift: No, don't worry. Even if I did host it, I will give you full credit. HP: Eyyy. Swift:Ok, tell us about your character. Nutmeg: My character is a lovable, klutzy nerd named Nutmeg. Who is a botanist and actually hasn't made any real friends until she met Gimble and all the others. And she has her best friend and sort of adopted sister who is a breezy named Flurry. Swift: Good, good, using the real name. Good. Nutmeg: Yeah, yeah Swift: No copyright fear here, we are fearless to copyright. Bring it! HP: (Garbage day!), there are multiple characters with the name Flurry, chill. *laughs* Nutmeg: Yeah, but when anyone thinks Flurry, they think of that bug eyed weirdo baby. HP: She's adorable! (baby steak) you. Nutmeg: You are alone on this... *laughter* Swift: I don't mind Flurry Heart. I'm neutral about Flurry Heart, so to keep the balance, I'll side with (Half Pint). Swift: So, do you think we'll get away with playing the songs from the show in the background? Half Pint: (It's is the BANEBLADE!) no, god no. Jesus (Mary) Christ. (public domain soundtrack) you for even thinking about that (licensed soundtrack). Nutmeg: What do you think this is, a real video? HP: Exactly. Swift: And last, but not least, ZD. Our newest player. How about your character? HP: Hi, I'm ZD, you guys know me, and I am playing the adorable Half Pint. A changeling disguised as a pony who infiltrated Celestia's school for magical unicorns, and can basically wreck your (stuff)! But, yeah, um.... Mutt: Well, magically anyway. HP: Magically, yes. Strength wise, i don't know about that one, but... Mutt: Mutt would bury you. HP: But, uh, just like Nutmeg's character he has an interest in size magic cuz we're cancer like that. He also shipped to Flurry, or being shipped anyway. So yeah. Swift: Pre shipped? He came pre-shipped? HP: Basically. I just kinda mentioned it to Will, and we're like "that's cute". HP: Listen here, he's just that good of a character. Nutmeg: He does have a design I like. Swift: Now there's a whole bunch of NPCs that these people interact with, scream at, run from, all sort of things. Swift: There's Sugar Song, a unicorn singer, formerly from Canterlot. Orphaned, uh, vitriolic friends perhaps with Gimbal. Like, they are friends, but they don't see eye to eye. Gimbal: Yes. Swift: Sugar Song is a lot more sensible. Nutmeg: That confirmed orphan thing too, not that up in the air Scootaloo or Applejack thing. Swift: No, no no. Confirmed orphan, parents actually died. Had parents, they died. HP: That's brutal. Swift: My little pony... HP: My little pony, ah ah ah ahhhhh.... Nutmeg: They dead dragons and orphan ponies. Swift: Her little brother, Champion, a 12, nearly 13 year old unicorn colt. Specializes in protective magics and healing magics. Bit of a maturity problem, that he acts more mature than he is. Very serious. HP: I'm gonna set him straight (dearest friend). Swift: Yeah, yeah. Nutmeg: Ironically, Nutmeg acts more like a child then he does. Swift: Despite being in her 20s. Swift: There is a female dragon in the group name Rhythm Quartz. Bit of a rival with Gimbal, although it's a bit one sided on Gimbal's part. *laughter* HP: God (we trust)damn it, Gimbal. Chill the (strawberry ice cream) out. Gimble: I told you, she's a teenage girl... Mutt: "It's because Champion only male we have, isn't it?" And then Mutt looks at himself....Oh! Nutmeg: Oh, yeah... HP: Why is Half Pint the most mature out of this group? He just got here. What the hell? Nutmeg: Well, technically Sugar Song is kind of the den mother... HP: How did you survive? Nutmeg: Good question... Swift: Very, very good protective magic from Champion. Mutt: Champion to be next princess. *laughs* Swift: At least Sugar Song has somebody sensible to talk to now. Swift: The last NPC I will mention, as she is semi regular now, is Break Fang. A former diamond dog bandit queen, now kind of on probation. HP: Oh, well...damn. Swift: She has to basically be within sight of at least one of the, what I would have called "the new elements", at all times. For the most part, that is Mutt. And she uses that to her advantage. Mutt: *nervous laugh* Swift: In the last session, she dragged him into the Everfree forest to go hunting. HP: It's great...and then tried to sex him. Swift: She did indeed try to sex him. HP: My little pony, my little pony... Mutt: Cue a brief "Uh...wait...no...maybe...after...no...augh!" Swift: Maybe put a little content warning here. This is not going to be grimdark or clop, but neither am I going to bend over backwards to avoid subjects like death and sex. Figure a PG-13 American tale sort of thing. HP: It's pretty much D&D, just (it a dragan) say it. Nutmeg: Besides, it's not like the target demographic of the show is little kids anymore... HP: So, our DM, Swift, lives in Australia. If I'm correct... Swift: Oh yes, which is why I sound funny. HP: No, that's not what I'm getting to. What I'm getting to is the fact, because of where you live, the rest of us have to wake up at 4:30 in the (local time zone) morning! So if we sound tired... Swift: Have I expressed my appreciation for that yet? Because I do appreciate that. Nutmeg: It's worth it. Swift: It is a massive boost to my ego that you would be up at 4:30 in the morning just to play my game. That is like a huge GM ego boost. HP: We're getting our fix. HP: GMs watching this would be like "Well damn, now we have to step up our game". Mutt: We're going to have to offer pizza. Nutmeg: I was thinking the same thing. HP:We're gonna have to offer pizza online. Swift: We'll invent replicators so we can send pizza online. HP: Funny enough, there is a new patient out for a 3d printer that prints pizza. Mutt: Is it edible? HP: Yes, it's edible too. Swift: So, it's filled with all the ingredients I guess? Nutmeg: No, it's plastic. HP: Yes, it's full of all the ingredients when it prints out. Nutmeg: That sounds disgusting. Like the episode of SpongeBob with the krabby patty machine. HP: I'm just imagining pulling that up on my computer and pressing print, and next to you, the printer, a pizza rolls out. Mutt: Then there is a brief beeping sound that indicates that it doesn't have enough marinara... Nutmeg: Then it becomes self aware, and prints a pizza gun... Swift: Well, we watch My Little Pony, so obviously were for Satan. Mutt: Of gravy, I'm remembering that "Solidarity is the something of the occult" (Solidarity is the tool of the occult) thing. Kingdom of Loathing’s My Little Pony joke. Swift:This is a couple of days after our last session. Gimbal, you've been cleaned up. You finally got all that paint out of your fur. Lots of turpentine... Mutt: Could she at least fix the smell? Gimble: What smell?" Mutt: From the paint. Swift: No, now she smells like alcohol. Mutt: Oh. Gimbal: As she normally does. HP: Oh my god... Nutmeg: Gimbal's a drinker. HP:...What the (wild ride) did I get into? Swift: Oh, no, there is no turning back, you are strapped to the ride. Gimble: A quick note real quick, we do not know (Half Pint)'s character is a changeling. Swift: No, nobody does. HP: As far as they know, I am a unicorn "That talks like this normally, a little weird but I've been good so far."(in voice). Swift: You sound like Droopy on helium. HP: (that makes me mad) you. Mutt: Why Button have twin? Swift: Ok, now I want somebody to do fanfiction of Droopy as a diamond dog. HP: Oh god. Nutmeg: I'm am on it! HP: Oh yeah, it's crimson's birthday. Swift: It's Champion's birthday. HP: Champion's, Champion's (Bimmy). It starts with a C, it's close enough. Swift: However, this is something of slight concern. Mutt: Ruby quartz isn't back. Swift:...Rhythm Quartz, hasn't returned from her solo journey to the dragon lands, where she was going to get her present. Mutt: "Me know it, me knew we'd have to make search party." HP: Oh god damn it. So you're telling me it's a few day off from a birthday party and we're gonna have to make a search party? This is bull(orb). Swift: Oh, it's more of the party is tomorrow. HP: Oh (sod) off! HP: Oh, I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about Champion, it's his party. *Plot* Though mental magic, Champion has discovered Rhythm Quartz in in trouble (and pain). Swift: Pinkie Pie is in the middle of hanging up a banner that says "Happy birthday Champion". She pauses, gives Champion a look that says "Oh, perfect timing!". Nutmeg: Like, thanks Celestia. The “thanks Obama” of this universe. Swift: Rhythm Quartz says...Wait, not Rhythm Quartz, Sugar Song... Swift: Sugar Song says "What did you see?" Champion shakes his head. "I don't know. She's lost, scared, trapped and in constant pain somewhere. We gotta help her!" Nutmeg: It time to round up the team. Swift: Well, the team is all here. Mutt: Wha? HP: Round up the team, here we are, awesome! Mutt: Actually we've been here the whole time. Gimble: I take the power tool set I got him... Mutt: Pretty sure a sledgehammer isn't a powertool... Gimble:...and hide them in the cake. Swift: Lucky for you, they are still quite small. Gimbal: We shrank the scroll too, right? Swift: You did too, yes. Gimbal: Yeah, that magic scroll, that is advanced shield magic we bought. We'll fiddle it into the cake. I couldn't get a lady to fit into the cake but... HP: Oh my god. Mutt: "Me mind is 2, and me think this a terrible idea." HP: You are putting a priceless scroll in frosting! Why? Gimble: I wrapped it in aluminum. Swift: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Gimbal Lock. HP: Half Pint must have been (deeply) terrified watching that (spectacle). Like he is just sitting there, chewing on his hooves "Oh my god, oh my god". Mutt: Mutt pats him on the shoulder. "It ok. Me remember time she put bunches of pillows on her head to try and glide a whole bunch. And then she smashed into the ground." HP: That's not reassuring... Mutt: "At least this time, Gimbal not break her bones." Swift: Well it does come in a scroll case, the that will help somewhat. HP:Thank god...thank Celestia, I mean. What's a god? Heh heh heh. Nutmeg: I don't think we included Nutmegs present in that. Because it's basically while shopping in the tool warehouse whatever place, the Home Depot of this universe. She just basically grabbed random stuff she thought looked pretty and tried to make an art project out of it basically, and is very fragile and barely holding together. Like when she arrived she said "Look, I got a Champion a pre...!", Then a hunk of it falls to the ground. "I got Champion two presents!" Mutt: “At least she made it herself.” Swift: Sugar Song asks "Do you know where she is?" He shakes his head "I don't think she even knows." HP: Well that's descriptive. Mutt: Can you trianglalate? HP: So, Half Pint has no idea who this character is? Swift: No, you do not. HP: This river... Swift: Rhythm Quartz. HP: Yeah. Mutt: "She dragon, she breath fire." HP: He hasn't asked yet, chill. Mutt: Ok Swift: Alright, I'm gonna say that Nutmeg, you're nearby. You hear him ask, who is this Rhythm Quartz everyone is talking about. Nutmeg: "She's our dragon friend. Don't worry, she's a nice one...most of the time." HP: "Was she the dragon I saw taking off when I first got here? Nutmeg: "Uh huh." HP: "Well, at least I have a basic idea of what she looks like...sorta." Nutmeg: "We have a very colorful group of friends." HP: We're friends with a dragon (buddy). Deal with it! Nutmeg: And two diamond dogs, on top of that. Swift: And now a changeling, although nobody knows that yet. Swift: "She's pretty far away. She's south, which makes sense if you're flying to the dragon lands. *sighs* So,who's coming?" he asks. HP: "I'll go, I need something interesting." Mutt: "Sure, I fink I'll go along too." Nutmeg: Cue comical gulp from Nutmeg. "I'll come." Swift: Break Fang says "Well if your all going, guess I coming too. Sound like some good ultra violence can happen." HP: Oh god. Mutt: "Plus there might be a hoard ta loot." HP: Of course the diamond dogs are interested in fighting and loot. Gimbal: She was ready to party. Mutt: "Not normally. Diamond dogs, when they come to dragons say "There's loot there, but I could die. And I don't like dying."" Swift: It is a dilemma. Nutmeg: I've heard it sucks. Mutt: Mutt counts the fingers on his paw. "Won't we be late for party?" Swift: Oh we will be. Champion looks at Pinkie. "Sorry Pinkie. Um, you're going to have to postpone the party until we get back." Pinkie just kinda waves her hoof and says "No, no, that's fine. You go on your adventure. You're the main characters, the party will wait until you get back." HP: Main characters. *laughs* Mutt: "She has a point. It is a friendship problem." Swift: There was a pause, Champion just stares at her like "the buck is she talking about?". HP: 4th wall breaker. Mutt: "I wouldn't tell him, he might crack." Nutmeg: Deadpool pony. Gimbal: I gotta pack some day-frosting, hang on. Swift: Day frosting? Gimbal: For our day trip. Swift: Right... Nutmeg: Well, ya know, you go on a couple of adventures you have to accept your baby girl has grown up. HP: And likes danger. Nutmeg: Likes is a strong word. HP: By the way, is Flurry currently residing in my mane still? Nutmeg: Probably, your mane looks like a birds nest. HP:Have I gotten all my willpower back from last session? Swift: Yes, everybody can have all their willpower and fortitude set to full. HP: Fantastic. Mutt: Yep. Swift: Except for Champion, he just spent a (significant) ton of willpower casing that spell. Mutt: Ouch. HP: God damn it. We need you're shields damn it! Swift: "I'll, I'll have them." he says. HP: I was saying that out of game, but wow. Apparently, Champion has Pinkie's ability. Swift: So, what does Gimbal say to her parents? Gimbal:I'm gonna be. "I'm gotta get my barrel out. And see you guys later, don't make dinner. Later." HP: What the (for realzies?)"? Swift: Will, they know Gimbal. It's like "*sigh* fine, we'll hear about it in the papers." Gimbal: Am I grounded? Swift: It depends of on the state you come back in. Gimbal: Ok, good. Swift: They hug you. And your, of course mother gives you a packed lunch. HP: Awwww. She's such a mama's girl. Swift: "Are you going north or south?" Nutmeg: "Uh, south." Swift; "Ok, you don't need to pack warm then. Oh, it gets pretty hot down there! Here's some sunscreen for your nose." HP: She's a horse! Swift: Oh, that's dogs. HP: Yeah. Swift: Never mind. HP: I'm imagining Nutmeg's mom turning to Mutt. "And for you..." Nutmeg: (as Mutt) Do I eat this? Mutt" "No need to worry. Me get Nutmeg back, alive or dead...uh, preferably alive." HP: Wow, that was brutal. Mutt: "But me will bring her back." Gimbal: We'll make sure she has a christian burial. HP: Oh my god, damn. Nutmeg: What's a christian? Nutmeg: As her mom. "Just stay out of trouble with the law or your grounded." HP: I just imagined Nutmeg going "What's a Jesus?". Nutmeg: She doesn't even grasp what gay means yet, so... Nutmeg: "Hey Champion, do you wanna play patty cake while we wait?" Champion: Champion kinda give you a look, and then says "Ok, but be warned. I'm the patty cake master." Nutmeg: "Eeee!" HP: Half Pint is like "I've gotta see this.". Swift: He uses his force magic to make little hands of force. Nutmeg: *Does a excited little clop with her hooves* HP: Wait he makes hands, how does he know what hands look like? Swift: Ok, I say hands. He models them off diamond dog paws. HP: Gotcha. Nutmeg: How is the dominant species on this planet one that doesn't have thumbs? Mutt: Magic. Probably the magic. Nutmeg: Oh yeah, magic, right. Mutt: Also they got the equivalent of the god emperor, so yeah know...so bit of an unfair advantage to anything else. I mean, the griffons could have stood up for something if they didn't lose that idol... Swift: "You like sunlight, do you? You like your crops to grow, do you? So, I'm ruler right?" "Ok, Celestia. You're the ruler." Nutmeg: With her own copyright for the sun. Mutt: At least until Louhi steals it... HP: It really is unfair though, like a 1000 years ago when this was all being decided, I assume. Like, there was Discord who was doing (cheese for everyone!) all. And the ponies, who have two god horses on their side, that control both the celestial bodies in the sky. I mean, that's just not fair. Mutt: Unless we get Louhi... Gimble: To be fair, one of them's the moon. Mutt:...There aren't many fantasy villains who know of who stole the sun. (A Witch stole the sun once, and then was turned to stone from terror of a man named Lemminkäinen, so you really can’t have everything. Watch The Day the Earth Froze, you’ll be glad you did...Sampo!) Mutt: Oh yeah, seeing as we're at the train station, and I figure we're getting provisions at Appleloosa, possibly, maybe, I don't know how this plan works... Basically, more or less, Mutt pulls out the pack thingiy and says "Here, this might come in handy. Also, happy birthday." Swift: His little soldier knapsack. Complete with canteen, rope, grappling hook, compass, um, all the stuff for a soldier on campaign. Mutt: At that point, Mutt then pauses and asks "Me forget, that thing come a instruction booklet?" Swift: It does, although Champion is a natural, he knows his (equipment). Mutt: "That good!" Swift: I'd be like showing a Trekkie, like a real, real trekkie, the Enterprise. They already know what to do. They've already read every instruction manual about it. Nutmeg: I'm glad that the lore of MLP is pretty simple. Swift: Yes. HP: I don't like that, I want it more confusing. I do confusing well. Gimbal: Well, that's our job here. Nutmeg: Yeah, it's our job to over interpret Gimble: I brought my barrel with me, that's why I went home to get that barrel. She's like "This isn't going to waste.". Swift: You mean the barrel of cider you bought? The one that's bigger than you? Gimbal: Yes. Swift: Ok. Gimbal: I'm going to the train station, calling for Half Pint. I'm calling out for him "Half Pint, Half Pint!". HP: "Huh? What's up?" Gimble: "I need travel size. I need to make this a carry on, please!" HP: "Oh, ok, sure thing." Cast shrinking spell... Swift: Hold on, let me calculate how much that will cost... HP: (I need mana)! Swift: After a while you notice players seepage into their characters. Nutmeg: Yeah, nobody makes their character without being a little vain. Swift: Of course not, course not. HP: Half Pint’s the (power overwhelming) biggest expression of that. Swift: I'm also surprised no one's had a little bit of little shotacon thing, but anyway... Mutt: Hurr? HP: Well that part, the characters made in vain, Gimbal. Gimbal: Yes? HP: *laughs* Gimbal: Yes? HP: I was more just trying to (mess) with you. Swift: Ok, zed d, this spell will cost.. HP: Goddamn you said it again... Swift: Oh, your right... Nutmeg: Rolls more off the tongue Swift: Barby ok... Nutmeg: Shrimp on the barby. HP: I went to Celestia's school for magic unicorns (Mon keigh)! I know what I'm doing. Swift: And somehow, somehow, they had no idea a changeling was among them. Security seriously needs work. Swift: By the way, I'm using the honor system, for all I know my players could be cheating me tell sunday. But, ah, they seem honest enough. HP: I have them all fooled! Swift: Ok, Nutmeg and Half Pint, you both realize something. The barrel has been shrunk, as has the stuff inside it. But you're pretty sure if you open it that barrel and pour out the cider inside it, it will pour out in a torrent as it rapidly grows to full size. So, as a warning, unless you want a high pressurized water cannon... HP: That could come in handy... Swift: Well cider cannon, don't open that barrel until you've made it grow again. HP: I walk over to Gimble, put a hoof on her shoulder "Gimbal, do not open that barrel. Just don't.". Gimbal: She like "It's ok, I just have a little sip..." HP: "No, no you do not open it at all. Unless you would like a river to come out and blast you away. Basically, think of that as a shaken up soda can times, I don't know a waterfall." Mutt: "Waterfall is a measure of measurement?" HP: "It was in Canterlot." Gimbal: "You'll get the first clouds I make from this cider." HP: "Oh, I can't wait." It will be his downfall. Nutmeg: Mmmmm, cider rain. Swift: I think they've calculated it takes a cloud the size of a bus to make, I think, a cup of water. Clouds are pretty not dense. Gimbal: Yeah... Swift: So that's going to be a big cloud you'll make. HP: It covers all of Ponyville. Cider for everyone! Gimbal: She's covered her bases though, she has Half Pint! Swift: Indeed, indeed... HP: Oh my god.... Swift: Half Pint, run. Run while you still can. Mutt: *Audible burp* HP: He's just sitting there, just kinda thinking "Oh god, the magic!" Swift: The trip to Appleloosa is a day trip... HP: Oh my god, by the time we get back it's gonna be like, what four-five days past Champion's birthday. Swift: No, no, no. His birthday will have well and truly come and gone officially. HP: Jesus Christ. Nutmeg: Poor guy. Well, he fancies himself an adult, so he can be an adult about it. Swift: Indeed, indeed. HP: Half Pint isn't going to stand for this (late fee). Mutt: In a sorta kinda way, it's his best birthday ever. You know, go on a big adventure, save somebody like a big old hero, make a day of it! Mutt: Still kinda wish I could have gotten him body armor...least that would have prevented future mortal injuries. Nutmeg: He still has a sword. Mutt: Well, yeah. Swift; Although I say sword, it probably like a knife or something. He's small, so it's a sword. Mutt: What is this thing? The Vorpal blade? Swift: It's basically Sting. HP: Why is Champion so cute? Nutmeg: Because ponies. HP: Half Pint steps off the train and stretches "Thank god...er, thank Celestia. Finally off that train." Swift: Think Chrissy...I mean Celestia. HP: I'd be more "Thank Thorax" in this case. Mutt: I'm surprised no ones made jokes of singing "God save the queen" in this universe. Gimbal: Gimbal says "All these train miles are worthless. I couldn't even get a drink on this train...wasn't alcoholic, just hot chocolate.". Swift: She says "If I know Gimbal, she's probably spent all her money." Swift: Stories spread of the crazy pony riding a barrel. Swift: I don't know my barrel terminology, but I'm pretty sure there's a word for a barrel larger than a person. Mutt: A keg? Mutt: Maybe an ultra keg? HP: Put that on a t shirt "I don't do barrels." Nutmeg: Don't do a barrel roll. Mutt: Don't do a barrel roll. Use a somersault! Mutt: Use bombs wisely! Swift: Sugar Song actually sang in Appleloosa. Because she looked like a pony who was meant to show up, but didn't show up because she's racist HP: I heard something weird. HE: I heard you say she looked like a pony who didn't show up because she's racist. Mutt: A bit with a different wording, but yes. Swift: There was a performer, meant to show up, but didn't like the buffalo so she canceled... HP: Oh my god... Swift: And that's how they got their manager. Their manager used to be her manager. Nutmeg: That's a pretty good reason to leave your client. HP: What the (we’re pressing stable tolerances). My little pony, my little pony ah ah ahhhhh Swift: She was a bad pony, I'm not endorsing racism. HP: No, I know, but still... Swift: Ok, new challenge. Artists, make generation 3.5 versions of your characters. Nutmeg: No. Nutmeg: That's just a theory, a pony theory. HP: Thanks for watching. Swift: Ok, first of, Half Pint and Mutt. Mutt: Herm? Swift: You can see, in the corner of your vision, flickering shadows here and there. HP: (Lassie), try me! HP: Half Pint ignites his horn, just seeing stuff like that would get anyone uneasy. So he lights his horn, makes it purple, and gives it that "Alright, try me (Greta)" kinda look. Swift: Yeah. Nutmeg: At this point, Nutmeg would have crawled on Mutt and ride on his back for protection. Swift: Half Pint, you actually see them in a bit more detail, although you might wish you didn't. HP: (There’s no such thing as darkness, there’s only light we can’t see)! Mutt: Oh, fun. Nutmeg: Nutmeg would be seeing this too and yelling "Ah! Ghosts!". Mutt: "A roast?" Mutt: Wait, the nightmare thingy count is this? Swift: It does. Mutt: Oh Swift: Still won't help. Mutt: Ok. Nutmeg: Nutmeg is pretty much in tears at this point, burying her in Mutt's fur, like "Goawaygoawaygoawaygoaway!" Swift: It's opened a massive with long, razor sharp, shadowy teeth. Mutt: Mutt just sees this, probably just outright terrified, just going "Me though we fixed the Luna situation.". Swift: Sugar Song's like "I don't think this is a Luna situation!". Nutmeg: "Tell me when it's over!" Gimbal: (referring to the shadow monster) Shrink it! HP: I'm just thinking, it would kinda suck if this thing only looks ominous, but it's actually really sweet. Mutt: Just imagine Mutt having kinda the same thought Half Pint has, reaches for that remaining 4 pieces of nightmare night candy. "You want candy?" Swift: So that's what Mutt's doing, offering it candy? Nutmeg: Nutmeg goes "Yes, thank you!" Gimbal: She's like "Don't worry, I got this!" and pulls out a flashlight. Swift: Ok, cool, cool, cool. Gimble: And she yells "Begone ghost of Babs Seed!"...sorry, bad joke. Swift: It kinda looks at you, Mutt, then suddenly lashes with one of it's massive shadowy claws. What do you do Mutt? Mutt: Get a good grip on Nutmeg, who is still on my back, dodge! HP: Nutmeg, you took out a dragon. What the (wild thang)? Nutmeg: "It was an accident!...Don't tell my parents!" Swift: Sugar Song shouts "Cover your eyes!" Nutmeg: "No problem, already doing it!" Swift: Suddenly, a flash as bright as the sun emits from her horn in all directions. HP: Celestia wakes up in the middle of the night "The (sunny D)?" Nutmeg: (as Celestia) “Who's doing my job?” Mutt: Mutt follows with the rest of the people running basically more or less going "Anyone know what that is?!" Nutmeg: "I don't care! It's mean!" Swift: Sugar Song casts a spell, and her horn glows with a constant light. She says "Everypony stay close...well, every creature stay close." Mutt: Then I just imagine short round basically going "What are you implying?" to which Mutt then goes "Ahem." "Oh, right, diamond dog!" HP: How much of a bonus do wings give you? Swift: Do you have wings? HP: I’m a changeling. Swift: You’re a unicorn. Nutmeg: Yeah, you’re unicorn disguise. HP: (If the shapers will it)! Swift: You’re wings are not available. HP: Right, (sad face)! Mutt: And I just imagine Half Pint just going “Ah, my wings! I mean...” Nutmeg: My metaphorical wings. Mutt: You know? Take these broken wings and stuff? Learn to fly again, it’s a song. Gimbal: A little to early for Mr Mister… Gimbal: Gimbal’s like “Let’s show you how wings are done” Swift: Nutmeg and Gimble, as you are going down this very steep, I’m talking like more than 45 degree angle tunnel leading down under the ground. You both slip in mess of wings and hooves, tumbling down the tunnel. Mutt: Any way I can stop this? Mutt: Well, this won’t end well. Nutmeg: Don’t worry, she’s doing plenty of screaming and flailing to let everybody know. Swift: You both fall into Mutt… Mutt: Is it bad I just imagined accidentally clothes-lining them? Nutmeg: As you catch Nutmeg, she all curled up again and shaking, saying “Thank you.” Mutt: “It’s ok. Your parents would be sad if you died.” Nutmeg: “Eeek! If I died I would be so grounded!” Mutt: “Yes you would.” Nutmeg: Literally Swift: They would resurrect you, just to ground you. Mutt: Flurry just kinda woke up going “Ok, are we going on that adventure and...oh my god!” Just clutched his mane, stayed there. “Is it gone yet?” Nutmeg: Puts on a tiny acorn as a helmet Nutmeg: (realizing we’re up against the Marean) “Oh jeeze!” Mutt: “Why oh jeeze?” Nutmeg: “I think we’re dealing with something that’s a little, possibly, maybe, definitely, be over our heads.” HP: “What are you talking about?” Gimbal: “What is it? Nutmeg: “Remember the temple? Remember those banished creatures that we heard about?” Mutt: “I gave the guy a candy apple.” Nutmeg: “I don’t think that applies to the situation.” Mutt: “Oh.” Mutt: How much was the advantage from the screaming? Swift: +2. Mutt: ok. Mutt: Uh, out of curiosity, now that there is this glowy orb in the room, are any of us feeling any horrible, crushey, spiritly things? Nutmeg: “I can’t feel anything past my unrelenting fear!” Swift: I’ll get back to you on that Mutt, when you're getting closer. Mutt: Ok Mutt: (Being hit by wave of psychic pain) I got 11. Swift: Ok, you’re ok. Mutt: 11 is ok? What the heck discount orb of oblivion is this? Swift: By the way, when I said ok I meant you only take 7 willpower damage. Swift: One of them actually manages to launch a magic blast at you and strikes you for 7 willpower damage. HP: Willpower again. Swift: Yeah, these things seem to be targeting your willpower almost exclusively. Gimbal: “Watch out you guys, they de-motivate us.” Mutt: I was thinking they were causing stress damage, and causing mental breakdowns. Swift: “Nobody likes you, you’ll never amount to anything.” Mutt: “Uh, don’t mean to tell you you’re job Champion, but shouldn't we get her away from that orb of agony there?” Mutt: I suppose this is the part where Mutt goes “Ok, let’s try this”. Grabs small dragon, tries to make a run for it, and grab Nutmeg on his way out, getting out of range of the horrible orb of screaming. Swift: You gotta drape this long dragon on your shoulders, by the way, she is still dragging as you carry her. Heh Heh, dragging dragon. Mutt: Drag on dragon, drag on. Mutt: Do I take any damage for exerting myself, like that time with the crates? Swift: Pardon? Mutt: Do I take any fortitude damage for doing this? Swift: Good point. HP: And this is why you do not ask… Swift: Yes, for your honesty, you take 5 fortitude damage. Mutt: I’ll live! Swift: You feel that? That’s what honesty feels like. Mutt: So the answer is “be dishonest”? That’s a terrible lesson. HP: Honesty is not always the best policy. HP: (on the giant flashlight) Could I drag it to the foot of the cave? So while we’re running, they will have limited space to move in. Swift: Oh, that will be difficult. It’s a body based roll at a -4 penalty. HP: Ok, never mind. I think it’s good where it is, I think it’s good where it is. Swift: Yeah. Mutt: Don’t ask me, I’m carrying our wounded. Mutt: I imagine Mutt saying “Nutmeg, can you form words?” Swift: Nutmeg, you can’t do anything but babble incoherently Mutt: “Ok, that answers that.” Nutmeg: And a lot of that is from the extreme sobbing she doing. HP: I turn to Gimbal and point “Let’s go!” and start taking off. Gimbal: “Those words I live to hear for.” Mutt: So, any horrible, unearthly screaming coming from below as we flee? Swift: No, it is more of an eerie silence. Mutt: Aw… Nutmeg: Yeah, you are only hearing bloody screams from Nutmeg at this point. Swift: Ok, everyone's fine so far… Nutmeg: Speak for yourself. I’m (Revive me!) KO’d over here. Nutmeg: “I want my mommy!” Swift: You practically stumble out of the cave, in your effort to get out of there. And you keep running until the cave is far behind you. You collapse exhausted in a wide open area. Mutt: Is it too late for Mutt to ask if someone would please blow the entrance? Bit late, but ok. Swift: If you did ask that, unfortunately no one has the means. Mutt: Oh, ok. Swift: Actually, I tell a lie, you do...oh, no, it’s not a construct. I’d be earth, never mind, you don’t. Nutmeg: Thanks for the false hope. Gimbal: Roll a stone in front of it. Mutt: Where would we find that stone? Mutt: Ok, just keep running then. I think we can do that. Swift: Sugar Song touches her horn to your head while you’re there sobbing Nutmeg. And she tries to cast a soothing mind spell on you. HP: While she’s doing that, I’m bending down to Nutmeg like “Hey, if you get through this, I’ll shrink you if you want.” Comforting words. Swift: Indeed. Nutmeg: “I wanna cuddle a giant teddy bear.” Although she’s not saying anything, she’s incoherently babbling still. Nutmeg: So, while she’s barely conscious, when she quietly says “I...wanna cuddle...a giant teddy bear.” HP: “I’ll get you a teddy bear, I’ll get you a teddy bear.” I’m like patting her. Nutmeg: “Ok…” Swift: Oh wow, you will be great for the giant teddy bear business. Nutmeg: Build a bear workshop can suck it! Swift: Champion says “You’re friendship present.” Rhythm smiles and hugs him. Mutt: “And adventure.” HP: Aw… Swift: That too. HP: That’s so adorable. Swift: Now here’s the thing, you are all exhausted. Will you risk resting here? Or try to push your way back to Appleloosa? HP: Oh, back to Appleloosa! Screw that! Gimbal: Yeah, let’s not chance it. Mutt: Unless we find some protective totems, we are not staying out in the middle of nowhere...at least I assume protective totems would work… Swift: The closest thing you have is the light coming from Sugar Song, and she’s not sure how long she can keep that up. Mutt: Appleloosa it is! Swift: The sun is actually rising when you get back to Appleloosa. You drag yourselves to a hotel, Sugar Song just crawls up, just pays from some rooms, and you go to bed. Swift: (About if Half Pint could be sidelined) You could be insulted in to becoming a changeling. Swift: While you’re sleeping you still maintain you're form. HP: Ok. Swift: It’s only if you’re actually unconscious or sidelined in some way. HP: Gotcha. Swift: So sleeping is fine, otherwise you’d found out long ago. You shared bunks in the college. HP: Right, yeah, awesome. Swift: Cadence would be sc….Chrysalis would of been screwed after the first night. Gimbal: Yeah. Nutmeg: Fair enough Swift: As Chrysalis “I did not think this through.” Mutt: I’m remembering that joke of, Shining walks in, see Chrysalis “Woah, Cadence looks different without her makeup.” Swift: He’s like “Eh, I’m ok with this.” Nutmeg: Either that is a really kinky gimp outfit or it’s a changeling. Swift: As Shining “Either way, eh.” HP: That ok, it would have sucked. We’re all exhausted and all that, we get back to the room and suddenly “Oh god, there's a changeling. Gimbal: We notice one of our guys has holes through them. Swift: You sleep almost 24 hours due to sheer exhaustion, mostly mental Mutt: “Ok, note to self, soul was injured. It was bad.” HP: (Comforting Nutmeg) “I wouldn't say useless, you definitely give us a moral attitude.” Mutt: “Attitude?” HP: I can’t think of a word! I’m trying to be supportive! Because she’s not wrong Gimbal: “There, there Nutmeg. You know, if there was a test,I would be honored to copy of you!” Nutmeg: “Th-thanks...I guess…” HP: I pull her close. “Oh come on, there’s gotta be something you’ve done with this group before.” Cuz they haven’t told him the story of the dragon. Mutt: “We’ll there was that time she blew a dragon’s head apart with dynamite…” Swift: Sugar Song just kinda shakes her head and goes “No, no, no.” when you mention the dragon. That is not a “cheer up Nutmeg” story. Swift: So I guess you go downstairs to get some breakfast in you? Gimbal: Yes, going down there for hey-bacon and waffles I guess. HP: Bacon? Mutt: Bacon? Nutmeg: Hey-bacon… HP: Bacon? Mutt: It bacon! Swift: Oh, you thought hey comma bacon… HP: I was like oh god. Nutmeg: Like the vegan equivalent. HP: Like, what is Appleloosa doing? Mutt: You know, there out there...they’re kinda in the boonies...they have a couple...odd folks. Just don’t ask about the slaughterhouse... HP: Oh god. Mutt:..And they will tell you no lies. Gimbal: Since we are in Appleloosa, does each hotel have a spittoon? Swift: Ah, this one does. Nutmeg: Spittoon, like in the old west? Swift: Yep, like the old west. HP: Oh my god. Gimble: I take one of those for the road too. Mutt: Why would you take a spittoon? Oh god...what are you gonna do? Use it as a helmet? Nutmeg: Gimbal’s not very squeamish. Swift: You see that Champion is on the floor with Rhythm Quartz kind of curled around him in a snake like hug. HP: Awwww… Mutt: She’s doing well… Swift: Yeah. Mutt: I bet she can form whole words. HP: I love the fact that Mutt casually jabs at Nutmeg. Mutt: It’s not so much he’s taking jabs, it’s more that he doesn’t understand much better. Swift: She is happily chewing on a bowl of gems, while Champion eats a breakfast of scrambled eggs. Nutmeg: It’s a bowl of gems with milk poured in it. Gimbal: Literally luck charms. Swift: Yes. Swift: As you join, she says sincerely “Thanks every creature for coming for me.” HP: “Well, it’s no problem dragon I just met.” Swift: “Actually, you’re right. You, I don’t know little pony...and literally little pony, not just expression.” HP: “Oh, I know.” Swift: “Your not much taller than Champion.” HP: “Yep, that’s pretty obvious. Hence the name Half Pint.” Swift: She blinks “Really?” HP: “Yep, that’s my name!” Swift: “Either you changed your name or your parents were prophets. They just realized “Honey, he’s not growing anymore, he’s stopping there. That’s very stopping.”” HP: “It’s a long story…” Mutt: “I bet if they could fill you with food, they could call you Short Round. But then you’d need an accent...” Gimbal: He’s like “When I was hatched….er, born normally” HP: Born normally, like a normal pony. HP: If I had fingers, I’d be doing the two finger gun thing. Swift: (As Half Pint) “Hello fellow placental mammals!” Mutt: (As Half Pint) “I intend to go to the restaurant to put food in me!” Nutmeg: (As Hint Pint) “Because I eat food like normal pony!” Swift: (As Half Pint) “Born from a horse vagina.” Mutt: Mutt would hear this and go “Uh, ok.” HP: When Half Pint joined the pony world he was like “Hello, fellow horse being!” Mutt: Then the weirdest thing people would think on him is “Ok, buddy. Too much information there.” Swift: (As Half Pint) “Hello, fellow non shape shifting being? How do you enjoy being in the same form.” Nutmeg: “I sure love it!” Swift: “It doesn’t get boring at all.” HP: Oh, that great! Mutt: “Was you taken under by the shadow thing or the big shadow thing?” HP:...hello? Swift? Swift? Mutt: Hur? Oh no, did he get…? Nutmeg: Did he get bumped? Gimbal: Yeah, he gets cut out sometimes. Swift:...Did I cut out? HP: You cut out. Nutmeg: Attack of the Australian internet! Swift:(On the Marens) Yeah, that’s deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep lore. HP: Wow… Mutt: So, I guess that means those things don’t exist on most bestiaries. Good to know. HP: Ok, so, wow. Half Pint has even more to brag about back at university. Like just “I saw one of the most ancient things ever!” Swift: (As Half Pint) “They tried to kill me!” HP: “They tried to kill me! It was great! I blasted one!” Mutt: This probably goes back to Mutt not thinking clearly on things, but just kinda figures he asks “So, what happened to the present you was bringing? Did you drop it?” HP: *laughing* I was just thinking that. I just didn’t want to say it. Swift: Rhythm Quartz look kind of crestfallen and says “It’s back there somewhere…” Champion turns and gives her a fierce hug. “It doesn’t matter! You’re here, that good enough!” Mutt: “You sure we can’t buy some flare guns?” Swift: "Yeah, that will do! Buy me a flare gun." Mutt: Do they exist? Swift: They do exist. HP: So, Half Pint just stepped out of collage and instantly became the most mature part of this group? Swift: Like I said, Sugar Song now has somebody mature to talk to now. HP: Yeah. Mutt: Suppose this is the point where Mutt would put a hand on his shoulder and just go “Welcome to the club. You get used to it.” Swift: You finally make your way back to Ponyville... Mutt: Uh, didn’t we at least warn someone about the horrible shadow monsters and the screaming? Gimbal: Ah, it’s Appleloosa. It’s not a big loss. HP: Ah, they're fine. They’ll make it. Mutt: “Ok, first, they are make of shadow. Uh, they create negative emotions constantly. They make agony orbs and they are probably an ancient race. Swift: Twilight’s gonna go “Field trip!” Mutt: “No, you really don’t want to.” Gimbal: “Trust me, it’s not a fun field trip.” Mutt: Uh, wrestle a hydra? I’m sorry, what? Those things….what did she do? Put it into a knee lock? Swift: She ties their necks up. Mutt: Oh, ok. Swift: You’re pretty sure she’s bragging. She’s using bravado to push down the fear she’s still feeling from those encounters back there. Nutmeg: There’s a good chance she’s doing that “I caught a fish this big.” Swift: Exactly. Mutt: Well the most he does it “OI!” Nutmeg: Act now, think about it later sort of thing. Mutt: Oh, oh no. You mean dropped your present back in those ruins? Well, let’s get some flare guns! I’m sure and expedition will fix that. “You realize we haven’t proven light actually kills them?” Nutmeg: Oh yeah… Mutt: “Light has to do something...” Nutmeg: Obviously better than nothing. Swift: Oh, by the way, Mutt. Are you going to resist stealing stuff from the hotel? Or do you just steal stuff? Gimbal: Gimbal has already done it. Swift: You’re like “I don’t really need this...but yoink!” Mutt: “...And this will be the extra comforter for the couch I’m sleeping on…” Nutmeg: More junk for your junk drawer, or in your case junk pile. Mutt: So I got to wonder...I have Tinkers lantern in my items. Did I ever give that back to him? Swift: I don’t know… Nutmeg: Probably not! Mutt: Cool! Gimbal: Probably could have used that earlier… Swift: You are a compulsive thief. You’re like me and pens. I’m always stealing pen by quote unquote accident. Nutmeg: Or me with lighters back when I was smoking... Nutmeg: People bumming smokes is the exact reason that I quit cigarettes. Not even health reasons, I was just like “I am sick of…” I’d by a pack and all my friends would take em all. Mutt: Aw…. Nutmeg: Thank god for vapes. Mutt; Sudden realization “GImbal, you still got that barrel?” Swift: (When Nutmeg gets back to her parents and they hug) Though, your father does check you over while hugging you, checking for any kind of physical wounds... Mutt: Don’t worry. There's no scars or lasting damage...externally anyway… Nutmeg:...yeah, externally…Yeah, they’re are very supportive even if they’re very protective. Swift: Yes. HP: Poor cute pone. Swift: (After Gimbal forgot what Half Pint told her) He told you something, but you can’t quite remember. Don’t worry, it will come to you. You pop the top off the barrel… Mutt: Oh dear… Swift: I want you to do a body roll with a -2 penalty for sheer surprise. HP: Oh no… Nutmeg: Oh yes. HP: Doesn't Half Pint hear this? Swift: I think you will. I think everypony will! HP: I’m imaging Half Pint in the building, they hear a *sploosh* and he is like “Oh, god damn it.” Gimbal: It’s like a pop. HP: He just knows what happened. Mutt: I imagine Mutt pausing and says “That was Gimble, wasn’t it?” HP: “Yes…” Nutmeg: I’ve lived with her long enough. Swift: Gimbal, you were blasted full pelt by this torrent of cider. It knocks you flying into the sky. Take 8 fortitude damage. HP: Damn. Swift: And you are soaked. It’s like being hit by a fire hose of cider. Everyone's running out the back to see what’s going on. And what you see is a fountain of cider in the sky, then falling to the ground, cider everywhere. And a very wet, very bruised, and very happy smelling... Mutt: Does anyone have to roll to avoid the falling cider? Swift: Everybody has to roll. Mutt: Lovely! HP: What the hell? Gimbal: Gimbal yells out “Open your mouth while it lasts!” Swift: Pinkie Pie asks “How did you do that?” HP: Half Pint, while drinking he says “Oh, concentrated shrinking magic. Don’t worry about it.” Mutt: “Shrinking magic and not following directions.” HP: “Yeah.” And he just continues drinking the cider. Swift: Pinkie turns to you Half Pint and asks “You can shrink a thing, but have all the thing that makes it a thing still there?” HP: “Yeah.” Mutt: “Oh no…” Swift: “Can you imagine a bite sized cake with the flavor of a full sized cake?” Her eyes have stars in them. HP: And Half Pint’s like “Oh that’s a simple one.” Mutt: Then all I can think of is Wonka and the gum… HP: He was then stuck in Sugar Cube Corner for the rest of his life. The end. Swift: Just shrinking cakes… HP: I think this is the longest recording I’ve ever done…officially. Mutt: It’s an RPG session. Nutmeg: Yeah, they are typically 3 to 4 hours long. HP: Actually recording-wise 3 hours is..oh god… Swift: (Making cider clouds) Gimbal, you make a cloud about the size of a beach ball. Gimbal: It’s tiny....dang. Mutt: That was a long walk for nothing. Swift: It’s this kinda off yellowy brown color cuz it’s made of cider. Gimbal: This is what I did, on my way down I’m like “I gotta salvage some of this.” And she shakes herself like a dog. Swift: Yep, ok, there’s also Gimbal juice in there as well. Gimbal: “There may be a feather or two in there…” Nutmeg: At this point, Nutmeg would be drunk. Nutmeg: Drunk Nutmeg is hanging on Champion just like “I love you so much Champion! You're some cute.” And Flurry like “I think you’ve had enough.” And Nutmeg grabs and nuzzles her cheek “Flurry, you’re my best friend! You’ll never leave me..” HP: (On Champion’s new jacket.) I’m just smiling in a big drunk ass smile “Aw, that’s adorable.” Mutt: “I bet it gives a +2 to AC.” Nutmeg: (On the mystery scroll that Champion seems excited about) Mysterious, mysterioso. Mutt: They got adopted? Swift: Who wants to give their present next? Gimbal: Mine’s in the cake. Swift: So, what’s the plan? Have it explode the cake or share up the cake and then explode it? HP: I would say go ahead and explode the cake. I’d be kinda dangerous to have multiple things flying around the place. Swift: You don’t want anyone accidentally swallow a piece and have it grow inside them. Mutt: *Nervous laugh* Nutmeg: Oh…. Gimbal: It’s a prize. It’s a big cake, ain't it? Gimbal: “Today is the day you are a man. And get a sledgehammer.” HP: “I still don’t agree with that…” Swift: (On improved determination) You can get the improved version for ten. Oh, no you can’t. Only donkeys can have that. Nevermind, you’re not a donkey. Nutmeg: Or is he? Dundundun! Mutt: No, I’m pretty sure I’m not a donkey. Donkey’s don’t have paws like these. Also they don’t have bloodhound abilities, the ability to dig incredibly well, or...um...um...I don’t think they wear plaid. Nutmeg: Or do the….ok. Mutt: (Mutt has more fortitude and willpower) The only thing that got bad was “Holy crap, it’s eating my will!” Mutt: (On simple artifice) Does simple include making quick use flintlocks? Mutt: (On the possibility of Half Pint’s changeling reveal) “You’re a changeling now?” Swift: I hope everyone enjoyed that random, chaotic mess record session. Maybe (HP) will edit it, maybe not, I don’t know. HP: I will do very minor editing, but with this being a nearly 4 hour recording (Death is a mercy) that noise. HP: Any passing words from any of you? Nutmeg: Thanks for watching. Gimbal: Great playing with you guys, always a fun time. Nutmeg: Yes, always the highlight of my week. Swift: My highlight too, I really enjoy this. HP: Now we just have to wait for one of you artist to make us a little podcast poster kind of deal.
  5. A high light reel of Equestrian Chronicles for those who want something to laugh at. If it works, maybe the campaign will be more popular.
  6. straydogdragon

    Single MLP Trading Cards

    ...Then again, think I've only got cards of the first few sets. Can't get packs for the newer sets.
  7. straydogdragon

    Single MLP Trading Cards

    Nothing wrong with random. Just get a box or two for the extra cards. Where I live, you can hardly find any boosters at all. Plus the price of a box of boosters is high. What ur are you trying to find anyway?
  8. straydogdragon

    mlp ccg

    Got the cards, I just live in nebraska. Which, knowing luck, you likely live nowhere near. Or is this some table top simulator thing?
  9. straydogdragon

    Equestrian Chronicles: A Roleplaying is Magic "Blog".

    Again, sorry for missing out. When I started this I was sleeping in most days, which as a result meant I was awake late into night to morning. However, due to a number of things I've been awake in the day time too much. Did try to stay awake, was still up and the 3:00 marker, but by then I knew I wasn't going to do much. Between feeling exhausted and not feeling awake I felt I would not be able to contribute much on the rp. Mind was not up to it in that state.
  10. straydogdragon

    Looking for PLUSHIES (+figures)

    First I've heard of them. Their stuff looks good enough. Guess it's a matter of what you want. They will do ponies, sure. OC and non-ponies are up to them and their rules. Same for sizes. My might ask about softness of material or stuffing and such. Pretty sure you can PM them for further details if you have a DA account.
  11. straydogdragon

    Looking for PLUSHIES (+figures)

    No idea
  12. straydogdragon

    Looking for PLUSHIES (+figures)

    Not sure. I've seen her make different kinds of Gilda, so maybe she changes designs over time. But I pretty sure she will take requests on design too. Had a talk with her on how a siren plush would be shaped. Either way, she will listen to requests and how'd they be done.
  13. straydogdragon

    Looking for PLUSHIES (+figures)

    Here: http://agatrix.deviantart.com/