PowderHound 6 Report post Posted August 30, 2016 Rules: Write a set-up for the joke, and then deliver a punchline that is deliberately not funny. Examples: What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick. What's Blue and has legs? The Sky. I lied about the legs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ArcticEight 27 Report post Posted August 30, 2016 What did the angry teacher tell the misbehaving children in class? I don't know, I'm deaf. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AI-senpai 147 Report post Posted August 30, 2016 Why doesn't Waluigi star in his own games? Because he's a bad character; it's even in his name, for heaven's sake. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PowderHound 6 Report post Posted August 30, 2016 Why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You need a camera, not a wooden leg. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ArcticEight 27 Report post Posted August 30, 2016 You can't spell "Jigglypuff" without "gg". Actually you can, but it will be grammatically incorrect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoponyWhatsoever 0 Report post Posted August 31, 2016 What always runs but never walks? What always murmurs, never talks? What has a bed but never sleeps? That's a riddle, not a joke! Stupid ponies... (I'm bad at bad jokes. It's sad. Hard to beat the last one.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peridot 549 Report post Posted August 31, 2016 Knock, knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dublyn Tea 104 Report post Posted September 5, 2016 He puts his pants on one leg at a time just like every one else. He'd fall otherwise. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,260 Report post Posted September 5, 2016 What's brown and sticky? The foul-smelling residue at the bottom of your garbage can. What's green and smells like blue paint? Green paint. Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road. Hey, Puppet Pal Clem! Can you guess what day it is? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Revanche 61 Report post Posted September 5, 2016 man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and again fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk? The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles, when you find these numbers, you will become a monk. The man sets about his task. Some 54 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound. The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, Real funny. May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire, And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door. The man is relieved to know that he has finally reached to the end . He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. . . . But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SNESChalmers 17 Report post Posted September 5, 2016 Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't, numbers are non-sentient and therefore cannot feel fear. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Revanche 61 Report post Posted September 6, 2016 What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? ... ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,260 Report post Posted September 11, 2016 Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? Same thing that happens to everything else. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Green Arrow 27 Report post Posted September 11, 2016 ? Who is DC Comic's resident vigilante-by-night playboy billionaire? batman GREEN ARROW Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Revanche 61 Report post Posted September 19, 2016 ... ... TIMING! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FeignedSincerity 11 Report post Posted September 19, 2016 A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They spend the night sharing pleasant conversation. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Revanche 61 Report post Posted September 19, 2016 21 minutes ago, FeignedSincerity said: A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. "Ouch." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,260 Report post Posted September 21, 2016 What do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shih tzu? A crossbreed. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toki Zensekai 323 Report post Posted September 25, 2016 I tried to think of a short joke, but the punchline came out too long. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mourningfall 36 Report post Posted March 18, 2017 I'm just gonna spoiler tag this, if you're young and/or impressionable, it's probably gonna be a real depressing ride. So I'd advise against clicking. Why did the young man not show for school? He had crippling depression and took his own life. What did the lower class family have for dinner? Nothing, the mother spent all their food income on illegal substances. What's the most effective way to make a baby be quiet? Throw it against the wall. What's the quickest way to lose a girlfriend? Set her on fire. Why am I writing these horrible things? Because I'm a miserable human being and I'm venting bad life experiences. What's the funniest part about this post? The fact that the only information anyone will retain from this post is the false assumption I threw a baby. ..I didn't throw a baby. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,904 Report post Posted March 18, 2017 Death. ...That's it. Joke's over. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,260 Report post Posted March 20, 2017 One time, OK, see, one time Randy Beaman's family had this party with food and stuff and they had like this bean dip for the chips and everybody ate it and said it was really good, only it wasn't bean dip, it was a mistake, it was really dog food.'K, bye. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Error 473 Report post Posted March 27, 2017 Error 404 not found. Reload Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,260 Report post Posted August 22, 2017 *knock knock* "Who's there?" "The internet guy. Here to do an installation. Do you want me to put on some paper shoes before coming in?" "Nah, you're fine." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
