Lord Nanfoodle

Wat Do?!

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Leave the room of course!

 

You're held hostage by the middle-aged pirates of New York.

(The middle-aged bit just a title, for you see one pirate in their infancy adorning over-sized pirate garments)

They want you to join their band in plundering the seas and looting the taxi cabs; claiming that their crew has shaped you up to be a worthy addition to their ranks!

You know, that or death!

Wat do?

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I have no choice to "join" them and betray them later to do survival because I'm not a criminal

You have very slow internet but very powerful gaming pc. Wat do?

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Find the guys that run the ISP's servers and then chloroform them late at night and surgically insert packs of Semtex rigged to remotely detonate to help motivate them to get me faster internet, then burn their houses down just for the lulz.

 

Neil deGrasse Tyson and Bill Nye the Science Guy show up outside your door one day brandishing a chain and a baseball bat wanting to kick your ass. Wat do?

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Try not to drink the polonium smoothies while I look for a way home.

 

Which decade in modenity do you think had the worst music?

(Note: Any answer other than "the 80's" will be considered wrong. I lived through it. I would know..)

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Bring my own weapons, because my guide has only done this once before.

 

Your adventures in the 'time' part of the space-time continuum have altered history so that Brangelina never happened. Do what?

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You realize that because of Multiverse Theory, a timeline where "Brangelina" never happened already existed, in fact possibly hundreds of quintillions of timelines, if not more where this was the case, along with every other possible outcome that could ever be, and going back in time would only create yet an even greater infinite plethora of new timelines, but all your actions in the past will have absolutely zero effect on your timeline due to the nature of Multiverse Theory; you could even walk up to them in 2005 on the set of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" where they met and shoot them both in the head, and they'll be alive in our time, because all you did create a new splinter of possibilities. You didn't actually "change" the past.

 

You're on a boat that sinks and you find you've washed up on Pleasure Island. Wat do?

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Try to leave the island because I don't live there even it can be quite "good".

You got a one wish, wat do?

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Pack an umbrella, an unmaking kit, and plenty of freezer bags.

The reign of whales has ended! Now it is the reign of voles and other small rodents of the field. Describe your course of action!

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Hand him a 20, he's probably just thirsty.

 

It's late. Dark night, but most are this time of year. The chief's already clocked out and you got a date with a bottle of Jack and a fresh box of Cubans, and you don't make a habit of making a lady wait. That's when the door bursts open like an egg against the side of a pan. It's a lady with legs all the way down to the basement and eye shadow the shade of desperation. Thing is, your shift ended two minutes ago and you don't get over time. Wat do, toots? Wat do?

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Promptly tackle her and call the cops, then sue her for damaging my door, because she obviously would of had to of kicked in the door if my shift is over. I always promptly lock up when the day is over, so no one can disturb me, as the infinite loneliness makes a better atmosphere to wash my money with the laundry, per se, as no one likes "dirty money."

 

One day you get the surprise of your life when Poseidon, Kali, Susano'o, Lucifer, and Buddha all show up at your door and just wanna hang out with you. You all get chummy, having fun, when hunger compels you and this divine gang to cruise downtown for munchies. You're all chilling out, maxin' & relaxin', when suddenly Kali starts freaking out, exclaiming that Buddha was OD'ing in your backseat. Lucifer says you should get him to a hospital ASAP, but Poseidon isn't having that, saying, "I can't go back to jail, man!! You don't know what they do to water gods in jail, man!!" Susano'o is trying to do CPR, while Kali... she's useless to everyone, screaming her head off. About this time, Poseidon sees a cop car go by the other way, and is trying to summon a tidal wave, which is proving hard given you're 150 miles inland. Wat do?

 

11 hours ago, Error said:

Try to leave the island because I don't live there even it can be quite "good".

Good call, because if you recall Pleasure Island was the place in Pinocchio that could turn people into donkeys in penance for enjoying themselves there.

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Come to the realization that I'm watching a very bad rip-off of "Ah my Buddah!"

You go to a restaurant in Utah and all they serve are Caffeine-Free soda, Wat do?!

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Draw an array in blood on the floor and summon Jason Statham & Michael Bay, then have the two fuse together, the resulting fusion's explosive high octane persona by mere radiance of their aura will excite the caffeine-free potations to levels exceeding that of meth, but oddly the taste itself will be oddly flat. Then I'd leap out the restaurant's window to evade the predictable explosion.

 

You head out to work, but on the way traffic is congested, and some people are getting out of their vehicles. A tremor shakes the ground, and you look out to see what is causing the building panic - for some reason Megatron is fighting Voltron, Mothra, and a 30-story tall Hank Hill downtown in a peculiar four-way Mexican standoff tussle. You call your boss to tell them you might not be able to make it into work, but strangely your boss isn't hearing it. They want you working your shift ON TIME or you're fired, muttering something about running some sort of "Kaiju Fire Sale." Wat do?

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Forget my job and watch this Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

 

You just bought this thing called an "album," which is like a bunch of tracks you didn't pick packed together with the ones you did. Some of the other tracks are pretty good, some of them are not to your taste.

Wat do?

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listening to good tracks and after that put it on my collection stash.

Sunset Shimmer is back to Equestria, wat do?

 

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Rescue the great Clam God from Jason Voorhees!

And maybe see some streaking!

 

You've been recruited to kill the Queen! All you need to do is project the orbit of the newly constructed Star-89!

Wat do?!

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Write "The Orbit of the Newly Reconstructed Star-89!" on a transparency and project it onto a handy vertical surface.

 

Your best friend confides to you that they've had a secret fetish for toenail clippings. Your toenail clippings. Wat do?

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I will tell him that that fetish is not my interest and should stay away his fetish thing from me.

Your are growing with beard faster, wat do?

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