Lord Nanfoodle

Wat Do?!

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Burn the house down, of course. It's obviously haunted, and is in need of a cleansing fire. While you're at it, burn your neighbor's house down. You could have sworn you saw a spooky shadow in their window, so, just to be safe... :awesomecheer:

 

You're sitting about, doing your thing, when a panicked knocking emanates from your door. You open your door to see the Prince of Darkness Lucifer himself there, oddly unnerved and scared. He comes in with a bunch of papers and receipts, saying in a panic, "Dude, you gotta help me!! I totally screwed up!! I was so busy trying to stop that whole Trump thing I forgot to pay my mortgage, and now the bank is trying to foreclose on Hell!!"

You pause and ask about the whole "stopping Donald Trump" thing, and he comments, "Hey, I might be evil, but I'm not THAT evil. I got standards, you know."

Anyhow, he pleads to you to help him review Hell's finances and find a way to keep the underworld from falling into the hands of the bank, as he needs someone off the bank's radar to help him solve his fiscal crisis. To sweeten the deal, he'll give you one unconditional free wish, no selling your soul or monkey's paw twisting of your intentions whatsoever. Wat do?

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I wish the news media was here to see the undeniable proof that Satan supports Hillary Clinton. Also, the jokes on you devil.

I CAN'T DO MATH!!!!!!

There's a knock on the door. When you open it, nobody is there. On the doorstep is a MYSTERIOUS CARDBOARD BOX. It might contain a bomb, or it might contain a little pony. Wat do?

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Burn it. If it's a pony, they'll promptly exit the box. If it's a bomb, based on the size of the box, you'll have plenty of time to take cover, and if it's a plastic explosive, fire won't even detonate it, as the stable nature of plastique requires an electrical charge to set it off and is relatively unlikely to detonate from fire.

 

One day you discover that after flushing your toilet the water refilling it is kinda brown and smelly, and upon examination of your toilet you discover poo in the water tank, meaning someone is slipping into your house and taking a dump in the water tank of your toilet, and this keeps happening every day. You try to film your toilet with a hidden camera to see if you can catch the perp, but strangely you see the back lid come off as though by magic, then... plop. Whomever is doing this to you is invisible!! Wat do?

 

I wish the news media was here to see the undeniable proof that Satan supports Hillary Clinton. Also, the jokes on you devil.

I CAN'T DO MATH!!!!!!

Well, in that case, why not just have a bake sale or car wash? Gonna fundraise somehow. :awesomecheer:

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Ask them to flush the toilet next time if they can hear me.

Your wishlist/dream of the game/movie have being released to you exclusive even it's not released public. Wat do?

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Hold off until release day so I can enjoy it for the first time with the rest of my friends instead of sweating over trying to keep things spoiler-free.

 

The corals have elected you Regent of Polypkind in absentia. All the vast landscapes of the sea where animals are too lazy to move away from their parents' skeletons are now yours to command... to control! Wat do now, oh great monarch of the sessile?

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Construct a vast empire consisting of nothing but a fish economy, and raising the most powerful navy the known world has ever seen! Conquering port cities and wreaking havoc among sea-bound trade routes!

Unless you don't have the Gods & Kings DLC

 

You're application is chosen, and now you are to assist the local desert-pone in their travels across the dunes! It is a long and dangerous journey, with only a few pockets of boredom! Your old, tired life as a vending machine vendor has now come to a stupidly giddy end. As you pack your things, the desert-pone gives you some pointers that you think you'll probably need in your first expedition! You quiver with both fear and excitement, wat do?!

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Easy. You ride the sand worm. YOU ALWAYS RIDE THE SAND WORM:smugtrixie:

 

You discover one day one of your neighbors is being stalked by someone. Upon reaching work, you hear one of your co-workers is being stalked as well. You're worried, but then you start to notice some things, and discover oddly enough that that very neighbor is being stalked by the co-worker that's being stalked, and upon further analysis you realize your neighbor is stalking your co-worker. They're stalking each other!! And it seems because of the methods they use to disguise themselves, they don't know they're stalking each other. Wat do?

(I kinda wonder myself how this scenario would play out once they know they're stalking one another. Which one gets to gut the other and wear them as a skin suit? Do they... do they flip a coin for it?)

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Document the evidence that lead me to this conclusion. Report them to the police.

 

You graciously hold the door to the restaurant open for an eldery couple who hobble slowly in, but by the time they've passed through the door there is a line of less-slow people coming through as well. You're still holding the door. There are no gaps in the line for you to casually slip into, so you're stuck holding the door as person after person shuffles past. Suddenly you realize that they're not people at all, but tiny bunny rabbits in tiny people clothes.

Wat do?

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I'll do:

tumblr_ll6ahv1XVm1qaoq1c.gif

 

Some old lady mistake you as your "son/daughter" and crying to you while huggin you because she did not see you for years. Wat do?

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Hug back whisper in her ear: "I'm not your son, please put me down before I'm arrested  for hassling you. I'm so sorry.." Then take her for a cup of tea.

 

I'm in need of rival. I'm looking for someone so unlikable but better than me in everything. I want him to push me be the best and make me fear him when I finally face them. If don't find them, I can't end my underdog story.

Wat do? 

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Secretly request something my friend wanted and gift it to them when it's done.

 

 

Your spaceship encounters some rough space turbulence, forcing you to make an emergency landing on a nearby planet. But when you emerge, you find humans there living like savages and that Twinkies are the dominant species! Wat do?

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First, I question reality regarding space turbulence. Second, I give the human savages the gift of fire and lead a revolt against your newfound yellow, spongy oppressors. The tasty, tasty oppressors. Thirdly, Profit (or diabeetus, which ever comes first)!

 

You're playing fetch with your labradoodle, Hank Whopplebee Fuddlebottom III, instead of a stick, he returns carrying mighty Mjolnir as he clearly worthy to wield it. Wat do?

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Wield my dog. Now I'm the smarterest!

You emerge from your lair deep beneath the earth, intending to destroy Tokyo. Unfortunately, during your long sleep you rolled over and now have tunneled to Antarctica instead. Wat do?

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11 hours ago, ZeFlyingNarwhal said:

 

You're playing fetch with your labradoodle, Hank Whopplebee Fuddlebottom III, instead of a stick, he returns carrying mighty Mjolnir as he clearly worthy to wield it. Wat do?

josh-lynch-dogs-of-the-marvel-universe-d

 

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On 10/14/2016 at 2:20 AM, strangephantasm said:

You emerge from your lair deep beneath the earth, intending to destroy Tokyo. Unfortunately, during your long sleep you rolled over and now have tunneled to Antarctica instead. Wat do?

Befriend the penguins and train them to be my mighty army!!

 

One day you're walking down the street and suddenly God himself materializes before you, only to deck you in the schnozz. He boasts in a loud voice sounding much like Seth Mcarlane's Carter Pewterschmidt voice, "Ha ha!! Take that!! Yeah!! Got ya, bitch!!" He then teleports away. When you get up, wiping the blood from your nose, you realize he also stole your wallet!! Wat do?!

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I suddenly wake up and realise that it was just a dream.

You have a chance to cure Lord Nanfoodle's randomize personality posts. Wat do?

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Remember that it's wrong to cast spells on other people to make them behave the way you'd like, and lock the cure away forever.

 

You've stumbled upon a box with a broken lock, and inside is a potion that's labeled "Cure for Nanfoodle's Randomized Personality Posts." Wat do besides point out that I'm just cheating by repeating the previous question?

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Open it up anyhow, then watch your expression as it clearly didn't work, then guffaw as you become so confused your head explodes and it is revealed you were just Scootaloo in a meat suit this whole time.

 

You discover all of Error's weird dreams are coming true and affecting you, causing your toilet to belch flames, Trixie sitting on your couch speaking in tongues, Bob Barker to kick down your door and start kicking your ass, and discovering it's not butter. Wat do?

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I distract Bob Barker by shouting ADAM SANDLER! and pointing. Then I pet Trixie. Then I throw the non-butter into the toilet/incinerator. Because why would I want it if it wasn't butter?

 

You've met the girl of your dreams! But then she turns around and is actually Freddy Kreuger. You're dreaming. Wat do?

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Point out that if Freddy Krueger is the girl of my dreams, he must thus be a she and watch as R63 happens. Then I capture the image in a moe 63 doujinshi form with unflattering depictions of Freida Krueger's taste in partners and spread them around the Interwebs. The Dream Demons are so embarrassed by his newfound reputation as fap fodder that they refuse to empower him further and he can no longer be revived or haunt the dreams of the living.

 

You can't get the Tiny Toons theme song out of your head. Wat do?

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I would follow this six step program to remedy that:

  1. Buster
  2. Babs
  3. Shotgun wedding
  4. Now they're related
  5. Go watch Animaniacs
  6. ?????
  7. Profit?! :rariwhat:

 

You're minding your business at home, when suddenly the ground quakes, light is flashing, and a sickening crushing force fills the atmosphere. You made it to your front door to see Jim Varney's Ernest character battling Don Knott's Barney Fife in some next level DBZ shit, and now they're locked in an epic beam-o-war struggle, debris and cars floating into the air from their power. Without any context of why they are there or why they are fighting, you feel you should help ONE of them somehow before this gets out of hand and they destroy the Earth, and that's the place where all your stuff is!! Wat do?

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14 minutes ago, Lord Nanfoodle said:

I would follow this six step program to remedy that:

  1. Buster
  2. Babs
  3. Shotgun wedding
  4. Now they're related
  5. Go watch Animaniacs
  6. ?????
  7. Profit?! :rariwhat:

 

You're minding your business at home, when suddenly the ground quakes, light is flashing, and a sickening crushing force fills the atmosphere. You made it to your front door to see Jim Varney's Ernest character battling Don Knott's Barney Fife in some next level DBZ shit, and now they're locked in an epic beam-o-war struggle, debris and cars floating into the air from their power. Without any context of why they are there or why they are fighting, you feel you should help ONE of them somehow before this gets out of hand and they destroy the Earth, and that's the place where all your stuff is!! Wat do?

:hurrr: I would f-ing rob St. Jude's Children's Hospital if necessary to get the money to pay to see that.

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