Faustenberger

Survive the Attack!

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The person above you will post the way in which he is attacking you. You will post the way in which you survive that attack.

Try to be creative; rather than saying "I blocked it" or "I dodged", say "I blocked it with" (obscurely related object that makes you seem really clever), or come up with some reason why the stated action wouldn't kill you. Then, you attack the user below you.

I throw an explosive custard pie, right at your face!

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I grabbed it in full flight and temporarily became the Princess of Friendship. Then it exploded, opened a dimensional spacehole to a strange magic-less world where ponies stand up straight and have 5 odd extensions at each hoof.

I throw a Nanfoodle (Weapon of Mass Insanity) at you.

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I come to safe and complete stop on the ground, hitting absolutely nothing awesomecheer_zpskvbeorwi.png.

 

I enter your house at night, tranquilize you, and surgically implant explosive charges under your skin that go off if you stop making knockoff designer handbags while singing Vaudeville tunes for my amusement.

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What's that? It was my body double made for this specific time and event! He gave his life to defeat the Nanfoodle menace and protect the Dink.

I fill your inferior lawn and backyard with explosive devices.

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send who? Because I did not understand the grammar and avoid being thrown to the ocean.

The future of you, is trying to stop you for a reason.

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 Since future me knows what I'm going to do, he knows that I already went and got last week me to do whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing, so he gets next month me to stop now me while he stops last week me.

 Since I know that's what I'd do, I also got yesterday me and two years ago me, which future me counters with next year me, and old man me.

 

 In the ensuing confusion, I go do the thing that I was trying to stop myself from doing.

 

 I think I need to go lie down.

 

 

 I throw a shark at you (somehow).

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I enter the shark's stomach, burrow into its walls, and consume it from the inside. I then lay a few eggs, spawning more of my kind.

I then proceed to burrow into your skin.

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What's that? I'm sorry I'm still inside the Heilx database in Abstergo. How did I got there, I have no idea.

 

A group of very skilled assassins are inside your home! What would you do?

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I invite them to have tea with me. Since part of skilled assassination training is being polite, they stop and have tea with me before trying to kill me. At this point their heart stops because I made the tea out of pure nicotine. Why aren't I dead? I'm just a heartless person.

I decide I need a new heart, and steal yours!

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I stood still, because I had Gnawed Leaf, and I took no damage.

My army of followers is after you! What will you do to protect getting gnawed on and shot at?

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