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Strange Statements Game

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Post the weirdest sentences you can think of in this thread. I'll go first:

"I want to wrap my intestines around you and squeeze you until your soul squirts out."

"Shut your mouth right now or I'll take a drill, shove it down your throat, and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine land."

"I once knew a kid; his tongue fell off in his sleep."

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You can only truly gain understanding of the universe by ignoring it entirely. Thus, ignorance is not only bliss. It is also wise.

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A time traveler moving forward in time while also moving forward on the x, y, and z axis is moving forward 4 dimensionally, or 4^4, or 256.

 

Thus, time has 256 bit encryption.

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They have a moon vision by the way. They said fifty two but they are close to ninety three and they won't assume this fact, except in January, when little birds are coming to the herd.

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This thread may just become a dumping grounds for my irc chat logs.

On the subject of Morgoth and plurals:

Quote

Apr 03 22:11:21 <Mahogany>    A balrog of Morgoth, http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/nicktheultimaswordwielder/images/1/11/Morgoth's_Balrog.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120816151010
Apr 03 22:11:39 <ABA>    Is that the proper collective noun?
Apr 03 22:11:52 <ABA>    When there's more than one Morgoth, you have a Balrog of them?
Apr 03 22:12:02 <Mahogany>    There's only the one Morgoth, actually
Apr 03 22:12:22 <ABA>    Nah, you can always have Morgoth!
Apr 03 22:12:30 <Mahogany>    :T
Apr 03 22:12:43 <Mahogany>    NightFlurry would be on my side on this
Apr 03 22:14:06 <ABA>    Here's a goth: http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0ycewjM2C1rphjveo1_400.jpg And here's some Morgoth: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_TJ7YinY25_M/S8Z4AfsTglI/AAAAAAAAAcU/jkyudfGWYcw/s1600/goths.jpg
Apr 03 22:17:56 <Mahogany>    :T T: :T
Apr 03 22:19:21 <ABA>    Gothentic goth experts: https://www.nbc.com/sites/nbcunbc/files/files/images/2015/4/25/150423_2861305_Goth_Talk___Goldblum.jpg
Apr 03 22:19:39 <Mahogany>    o.0
Apr 03 22:19:50 <ABA>    Usually there's a Balrog of two, but this time they added one Morgoth to the group.
Apr 03 22:19:58 *    Input (InputComma@hmask-29E09317.hsd1.or.comcast.net) has joined
Apr 03 22:20:00 *    Gummybot|Auto [Input] belp
Apr 03 22:20:49 <Jezendar>    And here's one Morgoth - http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/016/616/b00.png :P
Apr 03 22:21:28 <ABA>    One Morgoth for the Balrog!

On Firefly: The board Game:

Quote

<Hazzphone>    Each turn is split into 2 moves of 4 options including fly, buy, deal or work and theres extra rules around each of those 4 options and your stats are goverened by which crew / equipment cards you hold and crew have extra stats that affect jobs, legit or crime, and theres immoral actions that cause disgruntlement in moral crew that sets penalties in their effectivenedd
Apr 03 22:29:13 <ABA>    There are disgruntlement rules?
Apr 03 22:29:29 <Hazzphone>    Yes.
Apr 03 22:29:39 <Hazzphone>    Your crew get a frowny face token on them
Apr 03 22:29:40 <ABA>    Are there gruntlement rules?
Apr 03 22:29:57 <Hazzphone>    Yes. You can pay to take them on shore leave
Apr 03 22:30:39 <Mahogany>    that's..... hella complicated
Apr 03 22:31:37 <ABA>    What if I max out disgruntlement? Is that a build option? Would other players gruntling up the crew nerf me?
Apr 03 22:32:07 <Jezendar>    Are there Grunkle strats?
Apr 03 22:32:22 <Hazzphone>    Max out is two strikes and then your crew abandon you
Apr 03 22:33:01 *    ABA fights to create the autonomous region of Grunklestan.

On healthy sleeping habits:

Quote

Apr 02 22:01:46 <Mahogany>    sleep is important too
Apr 02 22:02:12 <ABA>    Sleep is food for the mind. Delicious, delusional food...
Apr 02 22:02:39 <ABA>    Spiced with hallucinations and lightly braised in madness!
Apr 02 22:02:58 <ABA>    We should aspire to spend 1/3rd of our lives in this state.

 

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My grandfather has kept a pile of mummified fingers in his attic since the end of WWII.

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By hooking Rainbow Dash up to a windmill or a hamster wheel, you could generate enough electricity to replace the Hoover Dam.

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All that I though was undermined, but when the weather is clear, I had kittens in my bag to play football with a tree. So peacefully.

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May the Orange be with you, Twilight. I'm talking about orange the fruit and not Twilight the movie the game which is not orange at all.

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how bout the sky foogle has escaped hes gonna eat our lips with his trousers down oh yeah!!!

 

*punches wall* haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

I'm zoned out

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Quote

Apr 23 19:42:48 <ABA>    So I'm reading this can of flavored seltzer. "Lemon flavor [and then in tiny print] with other natural flavors." What other natural flavors do they need? Why? To stretch out the lemons or something? Did some C-level exec look at the available natural flavors that could go into lemon-flavored fizz water and say "Oh hey, horseradish is cheap this year! Let's use some of that as a filler!"

 

 

Quote

Apr 20 22:12:02 <ABA>    DUDE
Apr 20 22:12:04 <ABA>    NO JOKE
Apr 20 22:12:18 <ABA>    Today I looked in the back seat of my car after getting food, and THERE WAS A DOG BACK THERE
Apr 20 22:12:28 <ABA>    IN MY CAR
Apr 20 22:12:38 <ABA>    I mean it was my dog because I took him for a ride, but still!

 

 

Quote

Apr 20 21:54:14 <ABA>   https://www.humblebundle.com/books/save-the-unicorns-book-bundle Somepony's at the top of the leaderboards...
Apr 20 21:54:17 <Ambrose>    the armbar and leglock look so clever
Apr 20 21:57:27 <ABA>    I've got waaaaaaaaaaaaay more ebooks from HB than I know what to do with.
Apr 20 21:57:38 <ABA>    The Lego books went by pretty quick, though.
Apr 20 21:57:48 <Ambrose>    yeah I feel like that would be the problem
Apr 20 21:58:03 <ABA>    I have a Steam library backlog of books, basically.
Apr 20 21:58:18 <ABA>    Some kind of library of books that I haven't read yet.
Apr 20 21:58:29 <ABA>    Like a library of games, except for books if that makes sense.
Apr 20 21:59:41 <Ambrose>    it's almost like we need a whole new word
Apr 20 21:59:54 <ABA>    A new fantastic point of view
Apr 20 22:00:03 <ABA>    No one to tell us no
Apr 20 22:00:05 <ABA>    or where to go
Apr 20 22:00:08 <ABA>    or say we're only dreaming

 

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I spent four hours at drama rehearsals for a play set in Mississippi. Now everything I say has a southern accent.

 

Does that make everything I say a strange statement?

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