ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted June 5, 2019 Set up a kiosk advertising free samples of limburger, durian, and microwaved fish. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted June 8, 2019 Get schwifty with the deli counter. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
M2 Ball 1,266 Report post Posted June 8, 2019 Invite all of the spammers who have shown up on these forums to advertise in the store. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted June 9, 2019 Set fire to all the stock boys until one of them says you're pretty, because you deserve it. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted June 9, 2019 Refuse to do anything other than climb along the aisles, because THE FLOOR IS LAVA! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted June 13, 2019 Try and write a summoning circle in the aisle using the blood of other customers in order to summon the produce boy... or Nyarlathotep, whomever comes first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted June 14, 2019 Peruse their selection of salmon, tuna, etc. Then cast Summon Bigger Fish. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted June 14, 2019 Prove you're the boss of the grocery store by finding the biggest, baddest cashier and shanking them in the break room. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted June 17, 2019 Blocking the front and back of every aisle with a Pyramid of Canned Goods. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted June 19, 2019 Make a meat fort in the vegetarian foods sections, and declare that you have conquered the aisle in the name of flavors everywhere. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MissC3PO 4 Report post Posted June 26, 2019 Hide in the fruit bins, and jump out at people. Snap pic's of their faces. Scream "I'M BANANA" at police. Works like a charm 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted June 28, 2019 Assemble a Nissan Kicks in the middle of the international foods section and then drive around the store blasting music. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted June 29, 2019 Claim the toiletries aisle in the name of COOOOOOOOOOBRAAAAAAAAAA! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow Dash is Best Pony 10 Report post Posted July 11, 2019 Squeezing applesauce onto your hand and smack your hand with the applesuce in every emloyee's face you see. And when they're out of applesauce for you to use, grab some pie and do the same thing then cake then whatever other desserts you can grab(make sure to lick the entire popsicle or melt it first). And when the store is COMPLETLY OUT OF DESSERTS, grab the syrup and pour it into the employee's faces. Do this to every employee until they run out of everything I mentioned(can do that to the same employee as many times as you see them) then dash out of the store and come back a few months later with a disguise on and do the same thing. Make sure you hide before giving your target a surprise! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr Ned 38,107 Report post Posted July 21, 2019 start a Bandit Riot Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
M2 Ball 1,266 Report post Posted July 22, 2019 Build a wall out of soda cases and demand that the store manager pays for the wall. Bonus points if you have small hands. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted July 23, 2019 Take a bag of flour hidden in a tool bag, and a ladder. Go up and knock down one of the drop ceiling tiles, put the tool bag up there, take out the flour. Spill the flour all over below and start coughing while yelling "AGH! ASBESTOS!" 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baltoist 343 Report post Posted July 23, 2019 Do what Saberspark did and ride in the cart of a handicap cart. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow Dash is Best Pony 10 Report post Posted August 1, 2019 Knock down every shelf and any food you find, then pour everything on the floor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted August 2, 2019 Slaughter a lamb, collect its precious lifeblood. With a 3-inch paintbrush, scrawl "Peccorino Romani ite domum" over the cheese aisle. Remember to dip your brush in odorless thinner and beat the devil out of it when finished. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Nanfoodle 1,895 Report post Posted August 6, 2019 When you get to the dairy section, stop for a moment, then just lose your s&$%, grab the nearest blunt object you can find, and just start wailing on all the freezer windows & dairy products there, smashing anything in sight in the dairy section. When someone finally asks what the hell is wrong with you, tell them, "I... I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE IT WASN'T BUTTER!!" 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow Dash is Best Pony 10 Report post Posted August 8, 2019 Park your car so close to the door no one can get in or out, smash the nearest window to get in, rip open all the chips, pour all the milk on people, and smash some eggs on every employee's back there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted August 11, 2019 Take a huge floor fan and position it inside the store such that it's constantly triggering the automatic door openers. Turn it on so that it's blowing all the conditioned air out into the baking hot parking lot, causing havoc with their climate control and ultimately cause an explosion of some kind because I don't know electricity stuff? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
M2 Ball 1,266 Report post Posted September 2, 2019 Dress up as a vampire and take a nap in one of the coffin case freezers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ABronyAccount 4,257 Report post Posted September 2, 2019 Grab a jar of mayo and start pouring it onto the checkout conveyor, but discretely so nobody knows what's going on until they find a big ol' mayo skidmark at the register. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
