Cookiepony

1000 ways to get kicked out of a grocery store

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Get out your smartphone while standing in line and hold it up further by tweeting about how “badly run” the store is.

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Oh please, that barely gets you kicked out of the White House.

 

Put political bumper stickers on all the shopping carts and watch shoppers pick fights with each other. Fist fights!

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Give the customers a motivational speech about how you are thirty-five years old, divorced, and LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

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Kick in the door, proceed to sing "Here We Are In The Future" from the Steven Universe movie, then when checking out, proclaim that since this is now the future that money has been obsolete by Federation charter and just walk out with your groceries.

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Stand in the medicine aisle and constantly tell other shoppers to stop wasting their money on Western Medicine. Instead, coach them on how to reduce stress and increase wellness by reciting the ancient poem. "Three two one. One two three. What the heck is bothering me?"

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Take garlic from the produce section and hang it by the entryways to the store.  Inform people you are protecting the customers from vampires.

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Wrap yourself up in all the toilet paper in the store to make yourself a toilet paper mummy, then go up everyone demanding a hug or else you'll curse them.

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Bring an overpriced ohmmeter...I mean...E-Meter into the store and offer free “stress tests”. Call the store manager a suppressive person when he/she tries to stop you.

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Look in each shoppers' cart, declare that they aren't using the theme ingredients and that they didn't finish anything in the time allotted, then proceed to hack into them once with a cleaver, telling them they've been "Chopped."

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Dress up as ponies with some of your friends and go on a loud adventure in the store. Accuse the store manager of interrupting Season 10 of MLP: FiM when he/she asks you what you are doing.

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Walk into everything in sight and then complain about how tightly packed the atoms are in the store's construction, preventing you from phasing through the store with all the fishsticks.

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Start moving things around the store in a random manner.  When you are confronted by the store manager, loudly complain that he/she isn't letting you play "Grocery Quest" with a randomizer. :awesomecheer:

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Bring in a bunch of smashed nanners and complain that their banana-rangs are defective. They broke after a single instance of contact with even a small bear!

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Run in with a bow and arrows made of silver and go around shooting all the pork products, finally complaining to management when none of the bacon coughs up magic doritos. :awesomecheer: 

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