Sunset (Incomplete)- Editing Needed- First Chapter

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I'm working on afanfic involving OC characters and I kinda want someponies to look over it.

Main jist: AU, Sombra comes back, mane six gone, pastel ponies go on adventure to find one another and save Equestria.

I'm almost done with the last chapters, and I'm going into the editing stage. 

Thank you!!


Warning: slight gore (war and surgery), some profanity, mpreg (cause sci fi, not fetish *yuck*), and fluffy pones.



The summer sky was beginning to dim as Luna raised the moon, with Celestia lowering the sun in return. Ponyville was getting ready for the night; closing up shops, the drunks loitering around, and everypony stumbling in the darkness as they got to their cottages. The summertime warmth filled the air, making everypony relaxed. A few warm breezes from the east were expected for that night, nothing unusual.

The lights outside of the medical facility switched on, and the “24/7” and “Hospital” sign lit up red and white. A bright yellow pony with a curly magenta mane trotted out of the medical facility. She had a happy trot in her step and a huge smile on her face. Her eyes flashed as she swung her stethoscope around her neck, and she started to whistle.

A sudden northern breeze blew through the town, mysterious and cold. In response, Goldie shook her tail, trying to realign the green elastic band at the base of it. The breeze didn't bother her, it was her tied back tail being a nuisance that bothered her for a bit.

Goldie trotted down the lit up the main street. She then trotted down a street leading to a little cottage, two levels and with pretty accents. Little flowers lined the cottage windows, accenting the yellow building with pops of pink and blue.

She trotted up to the door, whistling happily and smelling the smell of fresh bread and roses. She opened the door and hung up her stethoscope on a hook near the door. She smiled and trotted to the couches and sat down. On the floor near the couches, a unicorn sat, using his magic to play a game called Team Foaltress Two. Goldie tapped his back, and the stallion turned around. He looked at Goldie and smiled.

“Goldie! I missed you! How was your day?” The stallion said, pulling Goldie next to him as he paused his game. Goldie hugged him and smiled.

“It was awesome! I did a double hoof realignment surgery, and it turned out great! The patient is definitely going to heal up quickly!” Goldie said with a smile.

“Good! I sold a Colt rifle today, now we have five hundred more bits!” The unicorn said with a big smile.

“Good job Brownie!” Goldie said, hugging the stallion, whose name was Brownie Button, around the waist.

“Thank you. I also made fresh bread today.” Brownie said, pointing at a steaming poofy loaf of bread on the counter. Goldie nodded at it, smiled, then curled up in Brownies lap. Brownie looked down at Goldie, and smiled, releasing she was pretty sleepy. He kept playing the game, a smile on his face.

“I married the right mare.” He said with a smile.

The night was uneventful, just a normal beautiful night. The stars were out, and the moon shone. But the night masked the horror that was happening.

In the Crystal Empire, a dark shadow started to fill the land. As Princess Cadence and Shining Armour slept, the shadow started its destruction as it reflected itself around Equestria. A cancer was forming, and no one knew.

Until morning.


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