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The Closet Brony

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>I was 16 years old

>I've secretly been a fan of MLP since season 3

>Nobody has discovered my secret

>I'm sitting in my father's truck one day, about to embark on a family road trip

>In back seat discreetly scrolling through Equestria Daily on my cell phone

>My uncle is about to enter the back seat as well

>I close Equestria Daily and start browsing in the Bushmaster catalog

>We have been driving for three hours

>We pull into a rest area

>I sprint to the nearest restroom

>I launch a massive stink rocket into the porcelain bowl

>Toilet shatters into a gazillion little shards

>I realize that I didn't bring my phone with me

>A feeling of pure dread washes over my mind like a tsunami

>Worriedly, I return to the truck

>Mother has been looking through my phone while I was in the restroom

>She found Equestria Daily on my browsing history


>I search my mind for an excuse as to why I was browsing EQD

>With no excuses coming to mind, I tell the truth

>"I like the show," I tell her

>Apparently that wasn't good enough

>She calls me a homosexual manbaby and cancels the road trip

>We return home

>I wake up the next morning

>A strange looking bus is outside

>Mother tells me she's sending me to bible camp


>On the bus

>Bus smells like burned feces

>Kid in straight jacket next to me

>He leans in, as if to whisper something in my ear

>He bites the side of my face with all of his strength

>I scream bloody murder as the kid starts to chew

>Man in robe appears and beats the straight jacket kid with a cast iron frying pan until he stops breathing


>I'm panicking at this point

>Another kid randomly drops his pants and takes a massive dump on his own seat before sitting back down... on the turd

>Five hours later, I arrive at bible camp

>I look around

>Everyone in sight is either being injected with botox or dying of the bubonic plague

>An employee approaches me


>I go to the cabin with the door labeled "12"

>I twist the knob

>Door is ripped from its hinges as someone from inside the cabin plows through it

>I push the door off of me and look to see who was responsible

>Some kid with burned hair is running around aimlessly

>I stand up and reluctantly enter the cabin

>Excrement is everywhere, even on the ceiling

>There is a severed thumb nailed to the back wall

>There is only one bed in the cabin, which is covered in a crusty substance

>It is in such a state of deformation that suggests it was formerly wet, but dried

>I leave the cabin in a hurry

>After locating a path that wouldn't be seen by onlookers, I sneak into the woods

>One hour of walking passes

>There is someone sitting on the limb of an oak tree

>He looks at me and seems a bit frightened

>I ask, "I just arrived at the camp over westward; what's going on with the people there?"

>He calms down

>"Your guess is as good as mine. I'm just resting here until I decide to climb down and leave." he tells me

>I reply, "You're just going to leave? But we're countless miles off the grid! You'll either starve to death or get eaten by a hungry grizzly bear before you get anywhere close to civilization, especially without any directional references!"

>He climbs down from the tree and withdraws a rolled-up sheet of paper from his backpack

>"I found this in the priest's office. It's a map of the area surrounding the camp." he said

>I notice that the map depicts a railroad a few miles due east of camp; approximately one mile from our current position

>"Railroads always lead to civilization; all we have to do is follow it." he says

>It sounds like as good a plan as any, especially if the alternative was ending up in the same mental state as the other campers

>I start to ask, "So, why were you sent h... "

>Suddenly, the camp's priest, along with two other employees appear

>The priest is smiling pervertedly while holding a lead pipe covered in feces and dry blood

>The employees both have cameras

>Me and the tree sitter both exchange glances, then simultaneously bolt eastward

>The camp leaders are in hot pursuit

>"What is your name, anyway?" I ask

>"Brian!" he replies

>Before too long, the tracks are visible through the brush

>As we grow closer, we notice that a train is heading due north and approaching our position

>"Quickly! We have to get to the other side of the tracks, that way the train cuts off the camp managers!" shouted Brian

>We run as fast as our legs will carry us

>Moments before reaching the tracks, the train cuts us off

>All hope seems lost

>I look back and notice that the space between us and the camp managers is rapidly shrinking


>I look back at the passing train

>Freight cars with sliding doors

>Some aren't padlocked

>Some are even open

>"Come on!" I yell

>We run along the side of the train

>The train is going about 5 mph faster than we are running

>A freight car whose door is ajar approaches from behind

>As it reaches me, I climb onto the side of the car, clinging to a rail and using my foot to force the door open

>The door produces a loud SCREEEEECH as I slowly push it open

>I jump inside

>Safe at last

>I turn around and reach out to Brian

>He tries to grab my hand, but I am just out of his reach

>Brian falls behind

>The camp managers are closing in

>I quickly begin to look around the freight car I'm in

>Tool boxes everywhere

>I open one and withdraw the perfect weapon

>I know what I must do

>I jump out of the freight car and start back toward Brian and the camp managers

>The priest caught Brian at this point

>Priest brandishes the lead pipe and bends Brian over as the other two employees start recording with their cameras


>I clocked the priest over the head with a socket wrench

>The employees are visibly shocked as priest falls to the ground and drops his pipe

>The train has almost passed

>I pull Brian along and we both grab ahold of a rail on the side of the second-to-last car on the train

>This door is padlocked, we must reach another car

>We climb to the roof and carefully crawl another two cars forward

>This car's door is wide open

>We swing inside

>This car is completely empty

>Regardless, we're safe now

>After laying on the floor and catching our breath for a few minutes, Brian breaks the silence

>"That was close, man" he said

>"Yeah, I don't even want to think about what that priest intended to do to us" I replied

>I thought for a minute

>"So what do we do now? We obviously can't survive in here for a long period of time, especially without any kind of food source" I continued

>Brian sits up, removes his backpack, and lays it in front of him

>He opens it and withdraws some canned foods and bottled water

>"These were also in the priest's office. I didn't fancy attempting to escape that place without any supplies." he said

>"How did you even get into his office?" I asked

>"It turns out he doesn't actually lock it; I simply walked through the door in the dead of night while nobody was around. That place was full of goodies." he said

>He pulled more objects out of his backpack

>"I found this pocket knife, a first aid kit, and a box of matches." he continued

>It was quite a supply for one office

>I stare through the open freight car door

>Woodland as far as the eye can see

>"As I was going to ask earlier, why were you sent to that camp in the first place?" I ask him

>He turns to face me

>"You see, I attempted to explain to my parents that I was part of a community, and I didn't think they would care." he said

>Is it possible?

>"They didn't take it very well. No matter how much I tried to explain the concept to them, I seemed to be talking to a wall." he continued


>"Anyway, we call ourselves bronies. Have you heard of us?"


Maybe I'll write a sequel to this if it isn't taken down for somehow being against the rules.

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