Lord Nanfoodle

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These flowers are a perfect camouflage for me as I line up my shot. *pitches golf ball into hole* What?! So I help Donald Trump cheat at golf. Big whoop. What did you think I mean anyways?

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Pikachu: "Oh, you heard Professor Oak. We got adventures to go on Ash. Just you and me," *burp* "and sometimes Misty, and sometimes Brock, but" *burp* "never Tracy!! You, you want to know why Ash? Because he's a spineless shit trying to be a poor Brock replacement that no one wanted!!"

Ash: "Okay, take it easy Pikachu. That's dark..."

Pikachu: "Oh, it gets darker Ash." *burp* "Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different; no more Tracy. He took extremely unflattering pictures of me without my permission then shared them with Gary Oak who then posted them on the internet and then lied about it to my face, so I made both of them go away. I... I" *burp* "replaced them both with far less shittier characters and then became your Sun & Moon, because you're nothing without me. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me back home if I came home without you so you know the real reason I saved you from those Spearow. I- I JUST TOOK OVER THE FRANCHISE, ASH!! ...And if you tell your mom or Professor Oak I'll deny it, and they'll take my side because I'm a hero" *burp* "Ash, and now you gonna have to do whatever I say Ash. Forever. And I'll go out, an-and find some more of those Gen III... Series 2 e-Reader berries Ash..."

Ash: "Wha- What are you talking about?"

Pikachu: "...because that's what this has been all about Ash." *burp* "That's my one-tailed Vulpix. I'm not driven by becoming the best, like none that ever was. That was FAKE!! I'm driven by finding those berries. I want those e-Reader berries, Ash!! That's my series arc, Ash!! If it takes 20 seasons I WANT MY GENERATION III BERRY SERIES 2 BERRIES, ASH!! IT'S GONNA MAKE US CHAMPIONS, ASH!! MORE SEASONS ASH!! 20 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THOSE E-READER BERRIES. OR 216 MORE YEARS... I WANT THOSE SERIES 2 E-READER BERRIES ASH..."

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"Oooouch my head feels like I've been hit by a truck. Wait why does my breath smell like berries? And where am I anyway. Hey Ash wake up think we are lost again...Ash? Great just great. Leave me alone in the middle of nowhere while he is out playing blackjack, AGAIN. I wonder why do I even bother keeping him around."

I don't think anyone can match Nanfoodle...

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Hey Pikachu, you said these berries were a special Japan-only variety that you only get by swiping some cards in a clunky peripheral? Geez, they're amazing!!

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"La la la♪ It's the morning, I open my shutters ♫ and.... Oooooooh, so couuuuute ♥ Hello little bear ! Adoraaaaaable ♥♥♥"

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Am I alright? Noo~ No no. My hair's not like this because its slowly burning constantly~ It's because I...yea okay its because I burned it before now the sparks are slowly eating away at it. I fear it might reach scalp soon, call the Aesthetician 

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"Oh my, what a beautiful critter. Oh I could just hug it and pet it and...whawhawhat?"

:gah:

"Hymons force these poor innocent critters to fight. How horrible. I must do something. Oh I just don't know what. Maybe my friends will know what to do."

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I'll give you one guess as to what this "R" on my hat means......... OH GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! It stands for Rastafarianism!! Geez, you sick... Do I look like a Republican to you?!

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